Behind the Rich Wall: The Podcasts of P Sawyer
by Cayster
Summary: The Untouchables, or Tree Hill’s popular group, have been the most admired, hated, and envied clique to ever exist within the walls of the school. But what happens when Peyton Sawyer unleashes the group’s scandals and actual opinion of their peers? LP.
1. The Prelude of Preludes

"Behind the Rich Wall: The Podcasts of Peyton Sawyer" by Caley, a.k.a. Cayster and Kid-Loves-Indie

Summary: The Untouchables, or Tree Hill's popular group, have been the most admired, loved, hated, and envied clique to ever exist within the walls of the school. But what happens when Peyton Sawyer unleashes the group's scandals and actual opinion of their peers? Eventual LP. Peyton centric. AU.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own "One Tree Hill" or its characters. I am not profiting from this piece of fanfiction, so please don't sue me.

The Prelude of Preludes:

Many people see what they want to see when they get a glimpse of me in the halls: a beautiful girl with lazy golden curls and enchanting hazel eyes that could catch any heterosexual guy's attention. They then assume that I'm happy, endlessly happy, and haven't a care in the world. I can't help but crack a bitter smile and let out a cynical laugh at their idealistic naivety and blind ignorance. After all, us "popular" kids have everything figured out. Some of us edging in on success's lime light earlier than our humbled peers could've hoped for for themselves. Where could we go wrong? Definitely not at home… or in school… or at the "most talked about" parties… or even on the pier where most of the drunken games led to see which rich prick or brain-dead jock had said "bigger balls" than their next comrade. Wow, envied we should be!

The secrets of Tree Hill's most desired, beloved, drooled-over, idiotically respected and feared people are finally going to be revealed. But I'm not just a quiet witness, I'm the person who's life you'll get a once in a lifetime, no holds barred, non-edited perspective from. My stories, my experiences. Sure I'll throw in a story or rumor in here or there for a clarification purpose, but mainly everything will be as if you were seeing things through my eyes while they're happening. I'll be tapping stories out of the safety behind the "Rich Wall" (much alike the Blue Wall that cops try to stand by). I may be presuming, but I'm sure many people are wondering why I'd do this: Am I seeking sweet vindication? Am I in a confessional, really confessing my sins to a priest? Do I actually have a heart? Well, yes on the latter even though many people would like to beg the differ. How can my story be worth hearing? For the simple enticing reason of me being _the_ girl in one modern Romeo and Juliet twist. Some of you reading this will get it when I emphasize "the" in my description but others who didn't take the time to watch terrible teen movies of the 80s, 90s, and today won't. Therefore, I have to cover my bases so I won't leave anyone behind.

I'm sure everyone at some point in his or her life has liked, been infatuated with, or even as far as quietly but nevertheless utterly loved some person higher on the social totem pole or lower—so much lower that a person could've been too afraid of liking that person because it was expected of them to like someone of their stature... their friends expected it of them. But I'll get to that in a moment. Most of those cases were in high school, well, at least that's how it usually goes (teenagers are way too insecure), liked someone of higher appeal than themselves. But nonetheless, like every rule there's usually a last resort exception seen as the forbidden fruit of all reign and order of the cool… someone higher liked some lower instated person, and that person could only be and was your secret.

Going up on the totem pole in liking someone was more accepted. The nerds, geeks, freaks, loners, druggies, skaters, and lastly the wannabes were expected to like _the _girl or boy. More often than not, they did. The "social retards" of high school held the most pivotal point of the social ladder: they decided who was untouchable, who was cool, who was--and I laugh at this--seen as somebody rather than just the generic everybody.

For example, if a friend came up to the latest party host(ess) and asked them who came to their party, their friend would most likely say "Everybody"… but then name a specific "Untouchable" who showed up fashionably late, stuck around for a good half-hour out of respect for the free beer rather than the person, and then left hearing people a little out of their wits because of their alcohol indulgence whimpering about how they, the glorious Untouchable, was the life of the party, the hoss (or hottie, for the girls), the person who made it a socially acceptable party now that they showed up. They left with an even greater respect from their lowly peers.

The majority who believed they were nothing compared to the something were wrong: they were the Greeks, in respect to their government, of popularity. They, unbeknownst themselves of course, voted people in and out just by their compliments and flames of hatred toward specific people. So the nerd who tutored their "_the_ girl," no matter how much it grossed the girl out, was seen as an unspoken compliment and sent other "Everybody's" to the polls; ergo, boosting the nerd's girl's popularity a little higher, especially if they were nice to him because everybody liked to see the Untouchables hospitable or okay with the nerd, for it was symbolically saying that an ordinary Everybody was cool or all right.

But when I say that the Everybody's could vote someone out just by their well-known hatred for a specific Untouchable is misleading. Just because the lower hated a certain higher did not demote the higher—the lower had to wait for the other highers to separate themselves from that despised higher, which rarely ever happened. And when I mean rarely, I really mean never happened but once every twenty years. But that twenty year mark did dawn on my class's senior year… though I need to stay on track of explaining rather than shedding at this point in time.

The Untouchable with the bad reputation though could lose cool points with the consensus though. Either by being extremely rude to the geek who helps him or her out in English, slightly bullying the lonely Freshman in the hall, or by playing emotional tricks with the girl or boy who thinks of them as the "_the._" But even though when an incompetent Untouchable lost all their points, their friends' loyalty to them, especially the honored and loved Untouchables, kept that hostile Untouchable remained exactly that, untouched.

Even though it seems like the Everybody's got the short end of the stick, but karma did come back in their favor. It happens almost as rarely as the Fall of an Untouchable, which is told like a joke through the ranks, it does come in an extreme matter: when an Untouchable decides to break the ranks, the accepted, the rules of every rule imaginable in high school. Though this entire circumstance may seem kind of overemphasized and comical, you have to realize that if an Untouchable did openly like someone not expected, not wanted, not indeed an Untouchable, that Untouchable became a helpless lamb in a lion's den. It's no wonder that an Untouchable hardly ever wanted to commit such a "betrayal" or an act of treason because they had everything to lose whereas that certain Whatshisname (or Whatshername if a self-obsessed dick saw past all of his awesomeness, which, I have to add, only happened once in the history of all Falls) had everything to gain.

That's why the mysterious loner with the intense blue eyes was the focal point of a certain hazel-eyed Untouchable ever since Freshman year and she never ever once spoken more than two _unforced_ complete sentences per year out of fear that her fellow equals thought she was too friendly to an Everybody. That's why her nonchalant glances cast his way were always protected somehow, and those ways seem so silly now. One way was to make sure that either a clock or a jock was behind him so that if one of her friends, especially her best friend, and even the loner could shake the idea of _her_ looking at _him. _That way they could simply believe that she wanted to know what time it was or initiate a total faux-attraction to that jock sitting behind him, who was usually a complete ass. Another way was to have a "deep in thought" look plastered on in his direction. The way to really seal the deal by using this trick was by furrowing her brows and looking pissed off then if one of her friends decided to sneak up on her, or if her wannabes, or handful of her "Ugly Frogs" (that's what the Untouchables decided to call the guys and girls who saw us as their "_the_ girl or guy") peered over at her. This way, they all would be more interested in why she was perplexed and pissed off or what she was thinking about. But even though these tricks seemed pretty safe and witty, she knew she couldn't use them too often. If anything, she used one of the furtive tools a week. Why? Because if she wanted to know the time or talk about a certain guy each time she was looking in _the_ guy's direction, it would seem fishy. Even though many of the vixen and vamped girls of the Untouchables seem to have low GPAs, they have an uncanny way of figuring out attractions and when someone is "in like" with someone else just by the subtlest of body language, voice influxes, and curious glances. It's as if they had hormone radar or at least a good intuition.

Now I know that many of you who can read in between the lines have already figured it out, I'm the girl who likes _the_ guy supposedly "not good enough" for me. It wasn't that he lacked good looks, if anything, he was most likely the hottest guy in school. Now, many of you are wondering what the big deal is—at your school, if the guy is hot, he's probably popular, right? Well, in Tree Hill to be considered hot, you have to have three things.

The first wouldn't even really be yours, but your family's: money. If you had money, you were well on your way to become an Untouchable. How else would they get their alcohol and drugs? The second aspect would be something called the wonderful Letterman jacket. If you lettered, or at least were involved in a hell-raising, bleacher-filling, crowd-cheering sport, you get another notch on your belt. Sorry, the Chess team doesn't count. I know a lot of people bite their nails when watching the game and shout their lungs out, especially in some states, in Tree Hill you were just begging to get the shit knocked out of you. The last, and probably the most arbitrary one, was the fantasy factor. If you don't get my nudge-nudge wink-wink, let me help you out—you had to have at least the majority of the girls or the guys (depending on your sex) of the Everybody's to believe that you were worthy of a good fantasy sex dream. Meaning, if they could A.) be stuck in an elevator with you for seven minutes, they'd jump at the chance, B.) buy you at the annual Boy Toy auction or had the opportunity to buy a date or night with you, they would spend their life's savings, or lastly and the most telling of all C.) sell their soul to the Devil himself if they could have you in a utility closet all to themselves and you be willing and waiting, they'd go looking for Lucifer himself to get it. If you got all three or at least had two of the three qualities (preferably the first and last), you were made an Untouchable.

There was no formality to become one, it just happened. People would gawk at you if you passed them in the hall. The Untouchables of the opposite sex would start flirting with you shamelessly. Teachers let your questionable behavior slip even. You were royalty and now a benevolent tyrant whose every whim would be answered in some way, shape, or form. Now, if you held special favor among the right people, you could possibly get a copy of a certain set of keys that unlocked every single door in the school and your own personal nerd who just happens to have hacked into the system and knows exactly how to bump a grade here or there up without detection from a certain tight-ass teacher who decided to not care if you were an Untouchable or not. "Ethics over money" was probably their personal favorite motto. I bet you're also wondering why the heck an Untouchable would want keys to the building if they had an Everybody doing all of the work over a computer. Well, many Untouchables were sex-addicts. You can let your mind run off and imagine why the keys were so important.

Even though many Ugly Frogs would write me many notes vowing that if I ever needed a hacker that they would be honored if I chose them, I must say—in a very amazed way—that I never took them up on that offer GPA wise. I suppose that's another reason why each time I IMed that willing-hacker that night after asking an Untouchable that used to associate with them in junior high for their screen-name (after I lied about my plans to tease the U.F.) and thanking them for their offer after a pop quiz to make sure that it was indeed me, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, whom they were speaking to that my popularity seemed to grow. I suppose going the extra mile, even if it wasn't face to face, to talk to them and give them my gratitude sat really well with the Everybody's. More and more offers seem to pile in my locker after the whispers of what I was doing mulled around the rumor-mill for a day or two. Many of the U.F.'s were serious, others not so much, most of them were probably just a test to see if I would actually IM them. I could smell out the rats—meaning the notes that came from other Untouchables' nerds who were just testing out the waters to see if I was actually breaking the social martial law that was in place since the beginning of Tree Hill High. Somehow, I came out unscathed from the IMing scandal, which came to be a legend slowly but surely after my Freshman year. But the U.F.'s of my class seem to swear that it's not a legend, and show any underclassman who have the "hots" for me the copies of our conversations that they saved onto their hard-drives.

Still, my tyrant-esque title was lifted like a few predecessors before me, Karen Roe for example, because we were seen not as a user or a tease who got enjoyment out of torturing people emotionally and mentally. We didn't laugh if someone tripped in the hall or dropped their books. I suppose we didn't even make disgusted looks when we found out that yet another Everybody liked us. Even though I wanted to be pleased by hearing this, I knew it was a double-edged sword that could be used against me as much it worked for me. My fellow Untouchables would see me as a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, and we all know that no one wants to live with that title among their equals. So I decided that if I didn't have the bile to hurt others, I would only harm myself. No, I'm not a cutter, a drug-addict, or an emo (though a lot of people like my rebellious nature, so they deemed me "punk" to an extent). My medicine was to party hard. I bet a lot of you are laughing when I say this, but when I mean hard, I mean harder than everyone else—more than the jocks and the "tortured" richies, who just got wasted so they could forget the pressures of making daddy proud someday. I didn't want to, but I did it so that particular clean-cut image of me wouldn't be there any longer. Yes, I wanted to be seen as a nice girl, but I didn't want to be seen as too clean or pure. Let's say that I just let that title stay there, right where it was, and didn't try to change it. Then I wouldn't be good enough for the Untouchables. Why? Every Untouchable had a noticeable weakness or "indulgence" and if I didn't have one like everyone else, I might as well be asking for separation. They'd clean house so fast that I would be an Everybody by the end of the week.

I suppose you can say that I'm just following suit like every Untouchable since the start of it all. I had lose the "just swell" image to still be what I didn't really earn. Like with my best friend, Brooke Davis, her way of edging out of being the Girl Next Door was to be easy. She was pressured into it by her older sister (each new Untouchable got a senior who would help them learn the ropes and rules of being a Somebody) and Brooke's old sister was the most vicious of all the Untouchables. Her name was Becky Stewart, the most beautiful, the most wanted, the most lusted, the most "the'd" girl, but I bet she also had the most STDs as well. Supposedly, Becky was seen as the Girl Next Door during her Freshman year as well, so many thought that Brooke having Becky as an older sister would help her with her current undesirable attribute: she was seen as too touchable to be an Untouchable. The GND is said to be the hardest title to clear your name of because every guy seems to think that the GND is attainable because 1.) he's known her all her life, 2.) she's in a close enough proximity of him, 3.) she's sweet and beautiful, 4.) classic. Guys have been fed that the GND is within grasp, you just have to win her over. Ergo, a big problem for an Untouchable.

I have to say that Brooke was the GND and I was slightly Miss GTS, and I didn't see anything wrong with that, but after getting the taste of elitism and loving it, I did everything and anything to keep it. So did Brooke. So Becky told Brooke exactly what to do: to throw herself at her _the _guy. He happened to be Becky's ex-boyfriend. Becky knew this of course, but urged that Brooke go along with the plan. So the next exclusive Untouchable party, Brooke did as she was told—she threw herself at him. He didn't think twice, to say the least. The next morning, I found Brooke in the most blank and broken state. She has never spoken about the night, even with me. I guess we have all of our secrets. The next time we were at school, her _the_ guy was telling a few of the Untouchable guys all the intimate details, which embarrassed and hurt Brooke beyond all reckoning, but with Becky by Brooke's side telling her she better love the attention, Brooke did like all of us have done, did as she was told. For the whole year Brooke took further and further steps from her virginity, and every Untouchable knew all about the details because tapes, audios, and photos started to leak out. But unlike the state I found Brooke that one morning after, she lapped the attention and gossip up, just like Becky told her. She became the newest piece of Eye Candy and possibly, this was rumored of course, became the most wanted girl in school, surpassing her own old sister.

I'm going to assume that a few of you are wondering that if she was so easy, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of being an Untouchable? Ironically, no. You see, she only slept around with the richest, the most athletic, and the most fantasized Untouchables. In a very symbolic way, those bedmates and her actions were saying that she wasn't just sleeping way anyone, but the best of the best. A fucking brilliant plan that Brooke is instilling into her younger sister, Cassie Thomas, who, like Brooke, had a GND image and who is starting to practice Becky's planned out steps, which have finally been scribed and bound for a few girls' desensitization and disillusionment every four years.

My older sister was Becky's best and considerably dimmer friend, Danielle Jacobs. She happened to be a Karen Roe fanatic, to say the least, so hearing that I was like the legendary Karen Roe made her want me as her little sister immediately, no questions asked. To show how hardcore Dani (that's what all of the Untouchables called her, but the Everybody's could only call her Danielle) was with Roe-ology, she went as far as dating the star basketball player, much like K-Roe (as she called her) in her time. In a very twisted way, that happened to be Nathan Scott, Dan Scott's son. Dan Scott was the star player of the Ravens Basketball team and boyfriend of Karen Roe herself, which definitely got my older sister off. Nathan was in my grade and was the half-brother of a certain mysterious blue-eyed loner, Lucas Scott, who was also in my grade and none other than Karen Roe's son, despite how the last name might say the contrary. Dani found this out by accident because when she was getting smashed with Nathan one night after he and his father got into a fight, he drunkenly let it slip that Lucas was his half-brother, who's mom was his dad's high school love. Like the crazed-fan of K-Roe she is, Dani did the math and came out with a telling conclusion. Dani didn't tell anyone this but me for some reason… not even Becky. She mumbled something that Becky would use it against Lucas, and Dani couldn't have that, not if she was a hardcore K-Roe fan. I suppose that's when I started to really notice Lucas…

Yes, he was in my classes but that doesn't mean you really take the time to notice someone who you feel is your inferior (sad to say, but you all know it's true). I knew who he was, but the reason he was considered a loner and a loser was because of the fact that no one really knew too much about him or his family other than his friend, Haley James. So epic tales of following him home to so many ghastly places started to churn the rumor-mill, like all the other outrageous gossip stories that made this school buzz. Lucas didn't say anything to deny any of the stories, but his Tutor-Girl friend, Haley, definitely did. Though right when she was about to spill the beans as to where Lucas actually lived, she stopped herself and it must've took all the energy within her to not actually tell because the fiery look in her eyes definitely told all the bystanders that she wanted to tell everyone just to smite us all. I envied her at that moment because she knew something that I didn't about him, and I wanted to know so badly because it was one more piece of information I could know about him that wouldn't seem too fishy or out of place for me to know. And even then, that still made him overlooked by all of the Untouchables, except for Dani maybe. But his mysteriousness drew me in, in a very mesmerizing way.

Dani was the first to blatantly state what I would've never said out loud even if I was in the confinements of my home with only Brooke, but I suppose Dani never really cared about what the rules said about liking an Everybody: that he was gorgeous. She used to say that "All she was doing was looking, not touching, which is many, many times better than actually touching." So I went along with it, after all, she was my older sister who was showing me the ropes. I guess that's why I stepped on so many Untouchables toes after Becky's and Dani's class graduated, I had an older sister who bent the rules a little and she passed that on down to me.

Anyways, every time Dani and I went out (she always drove because I didn't have my license yet I'm still only fifteen at this point), she would drive down to the River Court so she could catch a glimpse of Lucas who was always there it seemed, but moreover because she wanted to see if K-Roe would be there cheering him on. Every time, she was disappointed but she still took great enjoyment out of it because she thought that Lucas was surely a looker with a great ass. I used to laugh when she said that, and she would look over at me and smile. Sometimes I was afraid that she knew that Lucas was _the _guy for me because, like I earlier mentioned about certain Untouchables knowing who liked who, Dani was the best. Perhaps that was the reason that she showed me the River Court and drove past it so many times when we were hanging out… because she knew I liked him secretly. Though all the times she said how great or "DDG" (Drop Dead Gorgeous) he looked, I never once agreed openly. I was always paranoid that Becky would pop out from behind a bush with a camera and start squawking about how it was all a test and that I am going to meet my end as an Untouchable. Sometimes I wished that would actually happen—that Dani was scamming me and I would just openly shout it out that Lucas Scott was _the_ guy for me. But Dani was too genuine to do something like that; she strived to be Karen Roe and she knew that K-Roe would never do something so horrible. So I knew I could trust Dani.

Finally, the last time that Dani and I would be "penciled in" to hang out (there were a certain amount of girl nights that an older sister and a younger sister had to meet up a semester), Dani yet again drove by the River Court. Like usual she mentioned how DDG he was and how he had nice abs, I finally just let it all out—I blushed. I know, I know, that sounds incredibly cheesy, but it was the first time I had ever seen him with his shirt off, and I must say that it was he had the best body out of all of the Untouchables. Dani didn't miss a beat because she started laughing animatedly.

"_I knew it! I knew it!" She squealed as she started clapping, taking her hands off the wheel. "Oh, Peyton, I just knew it. The way you looked at him when you thought that no one else was watching. Aw, it was the cutest thing ever!"_

_All the color in my face fled from it, I had been found out. Dani must seen my ghostly appearance, and started to reassure me. "Oh don't worry, Peyton. I won't tell anyone. Hell, I didn't tell anyone that Lucas was K-Roe's son after all—and that secret about K-Roe was so hard to hold in."_

_My mouth was slightly open, still not really sure that I wouldn't be picked on for my liking. "You promise you won't tell anyone? I really can't believe I did that. It was, it was—"_

"_Peyton," Dani said slowing down so she would be able to look at me without worrying about the winding roads of Tree Hill at a moderate speed. "Why would I tell anyone? You didn't tell anyone all the times I said the boy was DDG—now that would've gotten me in a rock and a hard place if there ever was one."_

"_But you're Becky's best friend, nothing would've happened to you." I spat a little miffed at myself for ever letting my hormones get out of check._

_Dani laughed a little too bitterly. "Riiight, I'm Becky's best friend. Shit, Becky would disown me quicker than I could say Karen Roe Scott, which it should be in my opinion, but that's besides the point. Becky changed so much when she became an Untouchable. Sure there are qualities about her that will never change, but her compassion, her loyalty, and her trust are shot to hell now." Dani turned the radio all the way down and continued her rant. "Y'know last year, I actually told her that I didn't know if I wanted to be an Untouchable anymore and all she said to me was 'Shut the hell up, I don't want to be known as an Everybody's best friend.' Ha, some best friend."_

_This new, unheard of information made my mind turn. "Then why do you call her your best friend?"_

_At this point, Dani just parked the car at an ice cream shack. She unbuckled her seat belt and I could tell that she was thinking of the right words to answer my question. "Let's just say that we're bygones—if she calls me her best friend, l call her mine. If she wants to act like a total bitch, she's going to meet my bitchy side. As soon as she chose to take this shit seriously, I had to let her go. But she knows better than to double-cross me, I have way too much dirt on her and everyone else for that matter."_

So that's when I learned that life as an Untouchable wasn't going to be peachy keen. If anything, I signed up for a twenty-four-seven job without even knowing it. I wouldn't be able to go to school scrubbing, I couldn't be seen just talking to anyone for any reason, and I sure as hell wouldn't be able to let my guard down. Dani was opening a whole new chapter for me that seemed to fill in the missing piece of the puzzle: the catch.

_But as Dani and I got up out of the car, she looked over at me with a sad expression in her usually lively eyes that I knew that would come. That I would have to forget about the guy. _

_Later on, she let me in on another secret as she slid her BMW into my driveway and I got out of her car._

"_You want to know something?" Dani asked with this allure as my window buzzed down._

_She didn't wait for an answer._

"_She liked an Ugly Frog back." It rolled off her tongue as if it was ordinary banter—unleashing secrets. _

_I didn't have to ask her who because I knew that she was talking about Becky. I shut my door and then leaned my elbows against the open window, ducking my head in the car again._

"_What?" I asked before I had time to really grasp why she was telling me this._

_Dani winked her eye. "Just in case." And she then she started to pull out of the car, and I quickly pulled my head out of her car. _

"_Just in case," I whispered to myself in amazement. _

I didn't know that she was giving me leverage, a bargaining chip-- a silencer. That was the last time I hung out with Dani. It wasn't that she didn't want to hang out with me or that I didn't want to hang out with her, it was because if she was seen hanging out with me more than she had to, Becky would start getting nervous about Dani shooting her mouth off with someone she trusted.

The only piece of advice I got from Dani to get rid of my Miss GTS persona was to "not jump off a bridge." I thought she meant to not jump off the pier like all the other Untouchables when they're involved in the drunken games, so I didn't. That piece of advice seemed to do more for me than expected—she wasn't being specific to that or anything else, but very generic... which in and of itself goes against everything the Untouchables are taught by their older sisters or brothers, that something generic is something worthless. And then I understood why Dani was superficial in front of the others, but real with me. She wanted to piss them off. To say the least, many of the Untouchables were very intelligent and brilliant (even if their GPAs weren't grand—they blamed it on the institutionalization of high schools and the standardized testing that doesn't reach across and help the students anymore), so when I first met Dani, I was kind of put off by the fact that someone very idiotic and flat could be apart of them. But after getting to know her on those drives, I slowly found the reason. To beat everyone else at their own game while being something they're not and hate. Dani really thought that she was apart of the Everybody's while the Everybody's were really the Untouchables. She used the card the other Untouchables were too afraid to use—the Faux-Opossum one, if that makes any sense. To clarify what Faux-Opossum means that she pretended to be something that she's not because she was defying them and the elite knew it, especially Becky because of what Dani confided in her before. And like the good older sister Dani was, she passed it down to me, like I earlier mentioned. She was the most awe-inspiring, brilliant, and freaking amazing of them all. Dani was a genius. And what completely surprised everyone in the school was that she became the Valedictorian of '02. (She lied about her GPA throughout the years.)

When summer came around, I was out and about with Brooke like never before. I finally turned sixteen and, in turn, got my drivers license.

Dani called me up one day and told me to meet her at the pier. When I got there, she was already there and she looked better than ever. It was probably because all of the worries of high school and popularity and fitting in were now thrown to the wind and college awaited her— something new before her.

Unlike all the other times I met up with her, I could sense that this wasn't meant for enjoyment or fun, but a good ol' sit down. She asked me how I was, genuinely interested, and let me in on what her plans were for college since, like her GPA, she kept it a secret throughout the school year.

"_Well," Dani started as she leaned her back against the cool metal railing as to not look full on at the sun. "I called you here to give you some more advice."_

_I kicked a lonely chipped piece of wood off the pier and watched it fall to the depths of the sea. "About my Miss Goody-Two-Shoes problem? You told me to 'not jump off a bridge,' remember? " Smiling at how retarded sounding that was._

"_No, something that I should've told you at the beginning of the year," she said with a tone of urgency I knew to take seriously. She didn't say it right away because like her usual Dani-self, she chose her words carefully. After a few long seconds of nothing but the crashing waves and the lulls of seagulls, Dani finally spoke again. "Peyton, I don't want you to turn out like Becky or," she laughed cynically, "me even."_

_She faced me now with brows furrowed, much like my 'Deep in Thought' face. "The reason I wanted to be your older sister is because you were said to be like Karen Roe."_

_I started to laugh, "Yeah, I know! You're a total fan of her… you don't have to explain why."_

_Dani started to shake her head as if I wasn't getting it. "No, no, no. Peyton, that's not it." She looked down at the sea, a little exasperated. "I chose you because I knew that Karen Roe never wavered from who she was... What I'm trying to say is that Karen didn't change simply to fit in or stay true to the most idiotic rules—she did it because she always changed for the better."_

_I didn't quite get what she was implying. I'm not a big wiz when it comes to ambiguity. "What? She changed because she thought this—whatever it is—was better?"_

"_No, just listen!" Dani gently said, simmering down a bit. She must've really wanted me to know this because she wasn't giving up on my confused state. "Karen didn't change to get rid of a title that someone threw at her. Actually, she never tried to get rid of it at all. People called her Miss Goody-Two-Shoes all the time, but she knew how to hit them just the right way with a comment to make them back off. Karen was dangerous to all of the Untouchables in some way._

"_I'm sure that's throwing you for a loop—if she was dangerous, then why did they not strip her of that persona? I suppose it was more of how they didn't like how she made them feel. K-Roe was good and they weren't. If anything, she was the ideal Untouchable because she was out of everybody's reach, even theirs. Calling her that was there way of feeling some sort of power and dominion over her even if it was something as petty as a name." _

I would be lying if I said that that concept didn't hit me like a ton of bricks. Now, at this moment I knew Dani was like a voice of reason to let me in on some very helpful information. She was like my Lester Bangs to my William Miller (Almost Famous people, rent it).

_She could see the amazement all over my face and then she flashed me the truest smile I had ever seen dance across her lips yet. Dani knew that her story was giving me a new hope—my wild partying habits could finally go away like the migraines that met me the morning after. _

"_How do, how—" I started to ask, but she beat me to the punch._

"_How do I know this?" Dani smiled again, a very coy smile. "My older sister somehow got her hands on Karen's diary. She didn't really say how it came to be, only that her older sister gave it to her. My god, you haven't read anything until you read that! You think I'm a mastermind, you need to fucking take a glimpse into that journal and you're going to feel as if the morning is dawning on you in a whole new light."_

_I smiled in a very sober way. "I see why you practice Roe-ology after all."_

_Then she swung her messenger bag around and started to look through it until she looked up at me with that coy smile in place again. Dani didn't say another word as she slowly slid the tattered, coffee-stained, and I guessed tear-stained notebook out of her bag and handed it to me. _

_I dumbly shook my head as she shoved it into my hands. "I can't, I mean this is yours—you freaking love her, you should have it."_

"_What was my job as your older sister? To show you the ropes, and that is what I'm finally doing. I'm fulfilling my duty finally. This diary will help you more than it will me when I'm sitting in my dorm up at Dartmouth." That's when she hugged me. It was the first time she hugged me so I was taken aback._

_She held me at arms length as she told me, "You're my only hope for Operation: K-Roe to still be instilled every four years, kid." _

_Suddenly, I felt all alone. I wasn't going to have Dani helping me anymore. This was her way of taking the training wheels off and letting me shred it up on two wheels, on my own. "I don't know if I'm strong enough. I'm not as smart as you."_

_Dani started to laugh, "No, you're not," and the look on my face made her laugh even harder, "but you're instinctive." _

"_What if I don't know what to do—what if I get in this big shitty situation where I can only get out of with a terribly brilliant plan? Huh, what am I going to do then? Read a book almost twenty years old and it will magically give me an answer?" I was freaking out, to say the least. _

_She shook her head in a very 'it's okay' manner. "If you can't think of something with that gut of yours, then flip through the pages and just read…" Right when I thought that was all she was going to give me as a help key, she continued on. "Also, I took the liberty of writing my number in the cover. If you really need to talk or scheme, you know how to reach me." _

_My fears were being soothed now. I wasn't just going to be thrown head first into the lions' den on my own—I had Phone a Friend with me. _

"_All right," Dani breathed out as she smiled over at me in a very proud, but reserved way. "I gotta go, kid."_

"_Okay," I replied with a painful lump in my throat. Whether I would've guessed it or not, I was going to miss Dani. Yeah, she didn't do me much good when I was getting as drunk as hell when she could've been giving me this notebook all along, but I suppose that's initiation and good espionage all wrapped up in one. All those drives were good memories to me and she slowly began to show me the way: to be me and not some image the others wanted me to be._

_As she walked off, Dani stopped a few feet away. "Remember, don't jump off any bridges. You got a noggin, y'know?" She began to turn around and make her way, but stopped as if she just remembered something. "On another note, when you look at yourself in the mirror, make sure that you see someone you're okay with." And on that, Dani left._

That would be the last time I would see Dani face to face.

Well, I've only touched upon the bases and that was only Freshman year, believe it or not. Don't worry! I'm not going to take you through all of my hellish high school years, just Senior year from now on out. Some of the stories will be enjoyable, some will be sad, some will be seductive, and some will be despicable. That's life, and I live in one of the towns where money, booze, drugs, and sex thrive. You want to know the details, stick around for my next podcast.

So this is Peyton Sawyer, and no, I'm not trying to make waves… just tsunamis.

Author's Notes:

Okay. Haha. Right, what to say? Well, this is something I've never done but always wanted to: have a very rebellious/heroic/non-archetypical character and a dark AU story. I'm kind of like a fish out of water, to tell you the truth. I'm not a dramatic person (hopefully my writing says the contrary) and I don't get involved in drama. I am a high school student though, and with that, I hope that this story will seem authentic in at least that area.

I have plans for this story, unlike my few multi-chapter stories. I just wrote what I felt should've been written in those rather than having a game plan, which is careless since I'm a very lazy person without a course of action. So I have the highest hopes for this story and I will definitely enjoy writing it. Obviously I will since I only expected that the prelude/opening chapter to be five pages and it ended up being 12. I just couldn't stop at a specific point without losing some much needed background to help explain Peyton's future actions, tales, and scandals.

If you've read a story of mine before, then you probably know that I'm a hardcore Lucas and Peyton fan. This story is also a LP fic, but you won't get any goods for a few chapters. Of course there will be some brooding on Peyton's part, but that's the diet. So you've been forewarned to sit tight! Lol.

Also, this is an AU story. Meaning, alternate universe… in other words, I have changed a few key events, and you've seen some in the prelude (if you have any questions or concerns, then please don't keep those to yourself, PM me or review me, whichever you prefer) and you'll see some more in the coming chapters.

Okay, I just want to say thanks to those who read this. I'm sure it will only be a handful since it's lengthy. Again, I apologize if the length was unbearable. But still, thank you for sticking it out, but like I said earlier, I couldn't stop myself.

I hope you all decide to look out for this story in the future for updates and the works. I appreciate everything from your reading, to your support, and—if you hold this story with some favor—your reviews! Lol. I would love to hear what you think of this story so far.


	2. And so it goes

**Chapter Two: And so it goes**

Right, I can't fall asleep ever since I started this thing, so here goes another hour or two of this forbidden and, oh so incredibly, scandalous tell-all! All right, bad Valley Girl impersonation, but what can I say? I can't do everything.

I promised I wouldn't take you through the years, and I bet you all are happy to hear that I'm going to stick to my word—there's nothing worse, in my opinion at least, when someone goes back on their word. Right, that's a little bit off-topic, so shoot me.

Well, the years seemed to pass as quickly as bass kicks in a song and, for the most part, I'm glad they did. Senior year was on all of the 06'ers minds when they said goodbye to their friends of 2005. In my group, it finally dawned on us that we were the top of the Untouchables now, the newly instated elite. If anything went down, we were the cause of its going down. That thought scared the shit out of me at first, but then I remembered something Dani said to me over the phone: "Breathe, kid. You're an upperclassman now. If anything, people will love you even more for your screws ups. Haven't you ever read The Scarlet Letter? You're Reverend Dimmesdale, for crying out loud." I slept all through Sophomore English, so I had to Google him, but I found something interesting out: the town loved him when he said he was the worst, the most sinful, the evilest of them all. His passionate and solemn teardowns of himself made the consensus appreciate him more—heck, there were more offers of girls on his doorstep than Nathan Scott himself (I'll get to that later). The town just thought the loving and _wholesome_ Dimmesdale was being hard on himself when really, and here's the irony, he was holding in one of the most unforgivable and unredeemable of sins--adultery.

The more research I did on the book the more I saw that Dani had dropped me another bread crumb of knowledge to help my little bird-sized brain out. This 200 year old book was so symbolic to how Tree Hill High was ran and seen from an Everybody perspective. The Untouchables were these holy elite that held so much power and fear and awe about them. We made sure our illogical rules were followed by public punishments for anyone who decided to break any of the social laws. Our lowly peers were so afraid of the mocking, the branding of hurtful names, and the stinging of rejection thrown at them in front of the entire school that they made sure not to do anything unacceptable, at least in the eyes of the Untouchables. And I was Dimmesdale, the single glimmer of hope for the Everybody's. But the funny thing was as if Dani was setting me up for my fall. Why? Because at the end of The Scarlet Letter, Dimmesdale's sin is found out after many years of burying it deeper and deeper in his heart, and then he was detested by those who loved and honored him. I guess I saw that as my cue for my last mission as double-agent for Operation: K-Roe—to 1.) breed the newest Karen Roe-like girl to be exactly that, Karen Roe, and then finally 2.) accept my fate as Dimmesdale.

I'm sure a few of you are thinking something along the lines of this: How could you be found out if you never committed the crime of going down the social latter to begin with or at least confess your crush-from-afar for Lucas? Well, you're right, I can't. But that's not it—I was going to finally make the plunge and in full force after I made sure my younger sister understood Roe-ology, Danism (which I seem to find even more mind-blowing now after actually getting it than when I was fifteen), and finally my thoughts and opinions on being an Untouchable. I was going to be Obi Won-Kenobi like I had been waiting for for three long years. I could almost taste the freedom awaiting me… I could see why Dani was so happy that day on the pier, she was free. Gosh, I couldn't wait to have that.

By mid-summer, the Untouchables got a list of thirty Freshman who were said to be of par. Fifteen boys and fifteen girls, respectfully, were given the okay by our alumni of the latest graduated class. Those Untouchables were either family or acquaintances in some way to these kids who had the potential to make heads turn, hearts race, and hormones go wild just by their presence.

The guys took the boys list and started scouting them out, bringing along a few girls to see if the golden number three was achieved for the unknowing "pledges." If the guys saw what the liked, they would report it back to the base, which was the school gym. (Remember, we had multiple copies of the school's keys, and we made use of them in more than one way.) The boys who didn't cut it were crossed off the list, making more room and time for the boys that did have what it took to be primed and primped to be a successful Untouchable. Further achievements and bonuses were added on to their profile, like their parents' salaries and inheritances. Finally, we would have seven male Freshmen with the tantalizing U stamped across their profiles.

Then the field work was the girls' turn, plus a few guys to get their fantasy take on the girls. Us girls were usually harder on the pledge-girls, well, because these girls would someday take our place as _the_ girl and we wanted them, our younger sisters, to say that we made them who they were. So our first cut was greater than the guys' initial one: eight girls. There wasn't a set number of how many girls or boys that had to become an Untouchable; actually, there was a class that only had five total Untouchables for their class one year because they were with a bunch of penniless uglies. So how many Untouchables for each generation there were was really up to how specific they're older brothers and sisters were to sticking to the ideal Untouchable. My class was pretty strict when it came to them, and like I earlier said, especially the girls. So when we brought our results back to base and saw what information the guys had gathered from AIM chats, school records, and what their nerds could hack open in their personal computers, we all went on a roaring rampage of finding the '10er Untouchables.

Finally, when a handful of Untouchables had their favorites, people started to vote. I liked this one girl who was rumored to be slightly like Karen but, at the same time, not really. She wasn't said to be a Miss GTS at all, quite the contrary. If anything, she was a lot like how I was at the present. She attended 17 and older concerts, seemingly always finding her way in even though she was only fifteen, got smashed at parties held by some of the Everybody's, and skateboarded with ordinary skaters.

"_I don't know, Peyton," Brooke said pulling her hair back into a ponytail, "this girl has hung out with the Everybody's already. Hell, I bet she's made out with a few of them."_

_Rachel now stepped in, who was called Becky-Resurrected (and she really loved it when people whispered that… I was only thankful that Brooke wasn't considered to be her). She had a snarl placed on that mug of hers, "Brooke's right, Peyton. Wake up, she's been touched already. Who's to say that the Everybody's she hung out with at those parties or skated with won't say 'hi' to her in the hall?"_

"_God forbid they say 'hi' to her, Rachel." I spat back exhausted that no one saw what I saw. "It's not like guys haven't ever said that to you, especially after your underwear incident."_

_She gave me the dirtiest of looks I am proud to say was ever thrown at me. "I thought we all agreed that wouldn't be brought up again?"_

"_I thought it wouldn't, but I know a few guys that still _bring it up_," I cheekily threw back. A few of the Untouchables, mainly the guys, started to quietly laugh._

_I continued on, feeling a little more confident than I did before. Pissing those people off, especially the ones who took this far beyond serious, was fun. "So what if she's been to the Everybody's parties every now and then. I know I have been to one of their parties—and so have you, Rachel. She was just doing what all want to do on the weekends: get wasted."_

_A few 'amens' were said and high-fives were given after that specific remark._

_Bevin then stepped in, "Peyton's right. I mean, when I was her age I was hanging at high school parties not really knowing which ones weren't socially retarded or not, I just went to party."_

_Bevin reminded me of Faux-Opossum Dani, except there was nothing Faux-Opossum with Bevin. _

"_Thanks, Bev," I said and she gave me a 'no problem' smile, which was genuine unlike other smiles smiled by the Untouchables. "She's like Karen Roe personality wise not action-wise. So that just means we'll be saving time that we'd have to spend to get rid of that title for her because she doesn't have the GTS persona at all."_

_More of the Untouchables heads started to nod in agreement—way more than when I first started to make my case._

"_Hell, she's hot, why wouldn't we want her?" Tim burst out like he usually did. A few of us girls always wondered which idiot really pulled for Tim four years ago and then how the hell they actually got him to become an Untouchable. We talked about this far more times than Bevin could count to._

_Nathan finally chimed in, like I had hoping he would, "I think she's a lot like Peyton." More people started to nod after hearing Nathan's perspective probably more out of respect for Nathan than for his opinion. He then sent me this flirty smile, which I must say was really nice to be on the receiving side of. Brooke then winked over at me and smiled—she must've thought that he was digging me. _

"_I still don't think she's worth it." Rachel rang in again, but everybody had already made up their mind once Nathan sided with me. _

"_So it's settled," Brooke started as she made her way over to the white board and picked up the red erasable marker to mark a 'U' over the girl's profile, "Madison Cooper is an Untouchable." Everyone started clapping, except say Rachel and I (we were too busy wishing a bus would run the other over)._

_I think I felt so much excitement at that moment than I had for my entire Sophomore and Junior years combined. I wanted to smile so big, but I knew people were watching, calculating even, so I couldn't show too much favor by a smile. After all, the girl had the ability to knock me down a notch as a _the_ girl, and I had a "rep to protect" or whatever crappy rule had to be yet again followed._

And that's how Madison became an Untouchable and my little sister. Rachel tried to become her older sister just to spite me, but everyone thought I should be since I was the one really pulling for the girl. Brooke helped me a lot in that department just dropping subtle threats of slipping Rachel's many secrets she accumulated throughout the years.

My friendship with Brooke seemed to blossom more and more with each passing year. She didn't become the thing I feared she would, but she was still a little promiscuous-- that she said was "on her terms." Boys were like a great pair of shoes to her, she couldn't get enough of them. Even though we were BFFs, she still didn't tell me her deepest, darkest secrets and I didn't tell her my one: Lucas. It's not that we took this whole Untouchables thing seriously, actually we were the two that stepped on the most toes (more so me, I just dragged her along for the ride, much to her dismay sometimes), we just knew that we couldn't trust anyone, not even our best friend. Sad, yes, but we both respected our unspoken understanding for the long run. Though there were times when I longed to tell her that I didn't really like the guy I was screwing around with, who others deemed my boyfriend instead of me, or that the cute loner in the courtyard or in the back of the library reading Whitman or Fitzgerald was really the guy I desired-- or dreamed about even. But I didn't… not even once. Of course, there were times when I came so close to it that the secret was on the tip of my tongue, teetering back and forth on oblivion, I just didn't have the guts or the trust to do it. So it crawled painfully back down into its dark, dark hole and existed quietly.

But like the BFF Brooke was, she knew I never liked the guys I dated casually. Sometimes I wondered if her hormone radar picked up on my case just like Dani did so long ago—even as far back as Freshman year. However, then Brooke would say something so outrageous that it would throw me off my track and the thought, "Nah, she doesn't know," would come to mind. She was the perfect friend, even if we left many things unsaid.

Finally, the summer bowed and bid goodbye, my final year of high school lay before my feet. The newly sworn in Untouchables found their titles with allure and expectations they never dreamed of ever having. Of course they wanted to be one ever since they attended a basketball game and became aware of who sat with who because of who they were, not because the seat was open. Or possibly when they saw us at the pier at night, if they were training for an upcoming track meet, or even at their parents' parties that our parents and families were invited to—seeing us Untouchables gather in a quiet corner, whisper and scheme of slipping out unnoticed. Shit, these kids worshipped the floor we walked on and now they were one of us.

Though, like many of the Untouchables were worried about in the elimination process, a few of them spotted my younger sister talking to a skater. Rachel threw my one of her classic "Told Ya" looks with that retarded smirk in place, and I walked off to intercept the misbehaving hatchling. Groups of people dodged to let me pass and my U.F.'s, who hadn't seen me all summer or (actually) had, stopped steadfast and just watched me walk by them, mouths agape and all entail. I walked right up to the two and my presence was immediately understood by the Sophomore skater kid (who's name is Jeff, a really nice guy even if he got high every once and awhile). Madison, seeing his definite 180, turned around out of curiosity to see what could've been so awe-inspiring to her friend: me.

Of course, she didn't think much of _me_ telling her what to do and I couldn't have been more proud. Madison saw the pride in my eyes and suddenly understood why I chose her. She was wittier than I was at that age, and thank God I got a girl who could think quickly on her toes 'cause I'm definitely not the most eloquent or articulate when it comes to explaining. Taking my lead, she followed me back to where the Untouchables sat. We sat under the maple tree in the center of the courtyard… where everyone could glance over at us whenever they wanted to. A few of the Untouchables, the ones that were in Rachel's pack, made snide comments about Madison's actions when we came back over, but they all backed off when Nathan told them to shut up already.

I haven't told you all about Nathan yet, have I? Well, like I said in my last podcast, he was the star of the basketball team and Dan Scott's son (and secretly, which I thought was always the most intriguing of all details, Lucas Scott's half-brother). What I didn't tell you, and only hinted at, was that he was a lady's man. Every guy at the Tree Hill High, unless he was gay, believed that Nathan was a true womanizer who knew exactly how to dial a girl the right way. Nerds asked him advice about asking a girl out and freaks came up with comical tall tales of his various partners, who consisted of _the_ Danielle Jacobs, Rachel Bilson (remember, the freaks came up with this shit), and a handful of MILFs.

Girls didn't say anything different though. The few girls that Nathan actually slept with, one actually being Dani, spoke nothing but praises for him. Not just sexually though, more on the subject of his character. He was nice to the Everybody's and even stuck up for a few of them that helped him out with his homework a few times. But what only the girls who went out with him would know is that he's a good listener and trusted them with some of the most could be humiliating of secrets. Hearing about an Untouchable that actually trusted someone was nearly unheard of, and Nathan was the black sheep in that category. I couldn't even trust my best friend about something as simple as liking a certain guy, but Nathan trusted his girlfriends with some heavy stuff. All the girls that went out with Nathan had all graduated and it just goes to show you how his trust kept their mouths shut about his secrets, except save for Dani's slip about Lucas to me, but that wasn't told as gossip among others so she could be known for having a juicy secret. Dani told me because 1.) it related to Karen Roe, her idol, and 2.) it was about Lucas, _the_ guy for me. She didn't gain anything from telling me.

Nathan was also said to be a great kisser, which is no surprise since Dani basically let me in on a few things she taught him (she was his first for everything basically). Then another thing people said about him was that he was an incredibly sweet guy, and I would have to give that one to Dani again because she made sure he stayed the same guy she first started to like, which is a hard task when it comes to popular guys (they all seem to turn out to be dicks by the time their Freshman year is over). And then another not-so secretive detail about Nathan was that he was fun to just hang out with even if it was just a walk on the boardwalk.

Really, it was no wonder that he became the "_the"_ guy for so many girls by the time he was a Sophomore and the older he became, the more and more piled up into one mountainous-like form from almost the entire female student body. Sometimes I even wondered what it would be like to shove him into a utility closet and make out with him, but then Lucas' face would pop into my mind and I knew which brother I really wished I could do that to and not be seen as any different.

And so it goes, just like it was back in Freshman year, I still liked Lucas Scott the Loner. Three years had passed, a handful of guys too, and I still found the blue-eyed boy as captivating as I did back then.

I earlier mentioned seeing him in the back of the library reading all sorts of poetry and classic American novels. I came to find out that that was where his haven was in the school, the last place an Untouchable would dare to hang out, let alone be found in for more than five minutes. I actually accidentally stumbled across it when I was looking for some T.S. Eliot for an independent study project in Sophomore English (I was kind of surprised I was awake long enough at all in that class to have heard the name T.S. Eliot, so I just decided to look for the dude because he sounded familiar on a list of authors that sounded so unfamiliar). I was walking back to the poetry section of the library, probably one of the most loneliest and untouched areas in the whole library because poetry is boring, at least to flat, superficial, obvious-needing teens, which takes care of the majority of the student body. Perhaps that's the reason why he chose that specific section: there wouldn't be as many visitors or airheads. So there I was with Bevin walking towards the quietest part of the library in a very raucous manner where we came across him.

"_Peyton, where are we?" Bevin squealed as she grabbed my arm for dear life so she wouldn't fall over, she was laughing so hard at this said 'retarded project.' _

"_Ugh," I said in between laughs, "I have no idea, but I think this where the poetry is."_

_Bevin pulled me to a halt with a fake frightened look on her face. "That's way too deep for me—I might get lost in the words about buttercups and dew covered grass."_

_We started to howl like a pack of wolves at her statement. We had way too many energy drinks that morning than we could count because we always thought English was too doldrums-y._

_Finally we turned the last corner and found something more than expected: my _the_ guy. Lucas looked up at us as if we just rained on his parade. Irritation seemed to flash in his eyes. _

"_Whoops!" Bevin let out as she quickly stopped. "We didn't know someone was back here." She turned to me and whispered with this total Bevin smile in place, "Let's get out of here, he's going to just stare at us the entire time." After she said this she started to pull me away, my feet following hers during our makeshift exit._

_I wanted to just nod and agree lamely, so I wouldn't have to deal with explaining to Bevin about why we should stay, but I found my secret speaking more for me. "No, we're already back here—we might as well just grab the prettiest book," Bevin laughed at the 'prettiest book' part, "and then we'll leave. I don't want to make up some shitty lie to Ms. Tight-Ass because we didn't find a book."_

_She giggled again, "All right, but let's be quick… he supposedly likes me." _

_And at that I laughed. "Oh really?"_

_Bevin nodded as if it was a known fact. "Rachel said—"_

"_Whoa, if Rachel said it, then that means it's definitely not true—no offense, any guy would be mad not to like you—but Rachel says she has the most U.F.'s but we all know she's just saying that because she wants to feel special. C'mon," I said dragging her back to where we just left._

"_Back so soon?" Lucas breathed in under his breath, obviously not really liking our presence in his escape._

_Looking at the spines of dusty novels, I jabbed, "Good observational skills, Captain Obvious." After realizing what I had just said my heart started to race with anger against my rebellious mind. 'Damn it, damn it! Good job, Peyton, make him hate you instead of mildly dislike you. You're definitely winning the Smart Ass award now.' I found myself thinking vehemently._

_I looked back over at him, seeing that he was smiling bitterly knowing that he just got 'served.' "Sorry," I found myself saying even more automatically. Bevin looked over at me with wide eyes as if saying 'don't egg him on.' I smiled a small smile and continued my search. _

_He laughed a bitter laugh, "Riiight." _

_I didn't have a chance to say anything back because Bevin grabbed two miscellaneous books and shoved them into my hands and pulled me out of the area._

That ordeal definitely wasn't the fondest of moments for me, especially since he found me as an annoyance when I really wanted him to see me like my U.F.'s did, likeable or at least desirable. But alas, the boy I liked, didn't like me. I guess it was my turn to face the facts like so many girls in the Everybody's had to when they liked one of the Untouchable guys: just because you really liked them, they didn't have to like you back. My case probably didn't hurt as worse as theirs because my liking was never projected. But nonetheless, I found myself wondering if I wasn't pretty enough or skinny enough or, hell, nice enough.

But like anyone else who liked someone, I started to go to the library more often. I didn't venture back to his area again until Junior year where I was yet again having to do an independent study, and like last time, he was there. But unlike last time, he didn't make another wise-ass comment. He just merely looked up to see me, Peyton Sawyer the damn Untouchable, was there and then back down at his worn copy of Walden. I suppose after that little meet-up of sorts, I came out a little bit happier than my last run-in with him there. Lucas was at least conspicuously indifferent and not full out hostilely indifferent. A major improvement in any case for someone who needed just the tiniest of hopes to continue on with this one-sided forbidden love with reason and logic backing it, minimally at least.

I guess now that I think about it, it was Madison who kind of nodded me off to going back to the library like I did in my Sophomore and Junior years. She didn't know that she did of course, but seeing her 'hell with it' attitude was reinvigorating to see again—something I hadn't seen since Dani and I went on those drives. Dani was still like that in our phone conversations, but _seeing_ it again was just amazing.

So there I was again, the first day back at school in the library, waiting. I didn't expect him to be there right away, heck, I didn't even know what his schedule was like. I was just there to maybe catch a glimpse of him, to see him maybe in better spirits than he usual was in school... and more like he was at the River Court. But this is high school, when are the Everybody's in better spirits when someone of superiority is around them, disconcerting them? Though, as if fate decided to step in, Lucas walked through the library doors like a _the_ guy was supposed to: with allure.

Man, was I in awe. I bet some of you are laughing at that, but you would understand if you had a crush and you didn't see them for at least three months and then suddenly, unexpectedly seeing them for the first time since the end of the last school year. It's awe-worthy, in my opinion, especially when it comes to him.

He had a nice hair cut that suited him well, not saying his hair wasn't good last time, but hair products actually in his hair made his hair seem even greater than before. He was wearing his usual band tee (Radiohead, to be exact, which I found to be unbelievably hot—a guy wearing good music is sexy), worn jeans, and black Onitsuka Tiger kicks. His iPod was readily in-place, but he took the earphones out when he saw the librarian and began to chat with her. I was hypnotized like no other time in my life, especially in public.

That's when Brooke ran up behind me.

"_P. Sawyer," Brooke squealed loudly, making both the librarian and Lucas turn around and give us weird looks, which must've reminded Brooke of what she was witnessing before she made her presence known. "Damn, I can see why you are totally checking that guy out!" _

_I felt all the blood in my body rush to my face-- I was blushing so badly-- I could hear my heartbeat pound in my ears, and I felt a little light-headed. I began to stammer an explanation out, but Brooke waved me off. "Shit, is that Lucas the Loner? Man, what the sun and some fresh air can do for some people!"_

_I was still a little out of it when I finally realized what Brooke is saying and the protective side of me, which usually only came out when it came to Brooke, chimed in. "Brooke, don't say that too loud, you never know who's listening."_

"_Please, I'm tired of this 1984 crap when it comes to us. I think it's perfectly healthy to have Eye Candy, no matter if it's an Everybody." She said in a completely matter of fact way still looking over at Lucas. Brooke always bent the rules when it came to boys, like I said, boys were her weakness, and in those moments, she reminded me a little bit of Dani. "But nonetheless, you are speaking some truth!" She took my hand and pulled me up, "We better get out of here before rumors start milling around about Untouchables outsourcing their U.F.'s by doing the work themselves."_

"_Economy and gossip were always your strong suits," I laughed as I grabbed my messenger bag and walked out arm and arm with my BFF._

I'd be lying if I say I wasn't afraid of what was churning around in Brooke's head at that moment. But for some reason, I trusted that it wasn't the Untouchable Brooke planning to use it as dirt later on down the line, but really Brooke, the girl I've always had by my side ever since we were nine. For the first time, in the better part of four years, it was the truest moment in our friendship from my side. She suspected my appeal for the guy, at least physically, and was okay with it. Brooke knew my secret, partially, and I felt all right with her knowing it.

And with trust on my mind, brings me to my sisterhood with Madison. On our first "penciled in" hang out, Madison and I just drove, like Dani and I used to. While we were driving past the River Court in my black 1964 Mercury Comet Caliente, I told her to tell me her darkest secret, and she did willingly because, from what I could see, she knew it was a trust game I was playing with her.

"_What's yours?" She asked back, squinting her eyes so she could make me out with the sun doing its darnedest to keep her blind. "If that's all right?"_

"_First rule: don't ask 'if it's all right.'" I told her right away. "You're an Untouchable now, the only people you need to worry about are Untouchables, and as long as you have me, you're going to be 'all right.'" _

_She laughed at that._

"_You see that guy out there, shooting hoops with the blonde hair?" I confidently asked her. She just nodded in response, "That's my darkest secret."_

_I could tell that Madison understood, but she didn't fully, so I elaborated for her. "I mean I like him… he's _the _guy for me."_

_Madison smiled and said, "I knew it! I just knew it!"_

"_Knew what?" My fear getting the better part of my logic and nerves—was my attraction that noticeable?_

"_Don't get your panties in a twist," she teased. I loved this kid and it was just our first drive. I wish I was so much more open with Dani back then, we would've had such a better time in half the time. "I mean, y'know when you came to get me away from Jeff—I mean the Skater kid--"_

"_I know who Jeff is," I told her quickly._

"_Oh sorry, but anyways, when I gave you the meanest look I could rile up, I saw something I didn't expect as your reaction: pride." Madison answered my question with an excitement I didn't expect to see from her. "I knew you were unlike the others at that moment. You were like me."_

_I could only fathom the comfort she got from knowing that I was like her. It must've been akin to what I felt when Dani started to spell her wisdom out to me in doses. _

_I smiled over at her, happy that she was all right. "Y'know, I think this is the beginning of a brilliant and prosperous sister relationship."_

From that moment on, Madison learned of the great secrets of being an Untouchable when you really wanted to be a regular Everybody. She learned the loop-holes, the theatrics, the great skills passed on from Karen Roe down to Dani's older sister's older sister, down to Dani's older sister, down to Dani, down to me, and finally down on to Madison herself. A five-four year generation ritual that sprung some hope in all five of our lives: a Gandalf, an Obi Won-Kenobi, a Dumbledore, a Hester Bangs, a voice of reason in the middle of all this madness called high school. She was all right, and so were my four predecessors because she was all right. We were guaranteed at least another four years of hope within the Untouchables' ranks.

With mission A of an A-B operation under my belt, I was well on my way and it wasn't even the second week of my Senior year. But I knew I was going to need at least a month or two to get my courage up for initiating the second part of the course of action, my Fall as an Untouchable.

**Author's Notes**:

I just wanted to clarify that in this story Rachel has lived in TH for all of her life just like everyone else. She just had a "disappearing" year where she went off to fat camp in the eighth grade, which is why when she came back for her Freshman year, she was voted in as an Untouchable. Her "rockin'" body put a spell on many upperclassmen.

This chapter is two pages shorter than the prelude, so I hope it went by quicker. Lol.

I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. I was going to take another route, but when I woke up this morning another storyline hit me, one that I liked a whole more. Hopefully you all liked it. :)

Thanks again for reading, it must've been a long one! Lol. Thank you though, I really appreciate it. Also, thank you for my reviews! I love hearing what you all think, even if it's constructive criticism. After re-reading my first chapter, I found so many grammatical errors, so I tried to proofread this one more extentsively. Therefore, there won't be as many in this one. So thanks for putting up with those in my last chapter! Lol.


	3. Tiptoeing shouldn't be this complicated

**AN**:

One quick question I wanted to answer that I got in a review.

Sweetness150 asked "y is she tryin 2 make her fall as an untouchable, y not just do it behind every1s back or something?"

I can see why you've asked this 'cause I was debating whether to go with the sneaking around storyline or the fall storyline, and I came to the conclusion of fusing those two ideas together. Also I meant to make her plan a little ambiguous so you all won't be going "well, I know what's she's going to do." So hopefully mixing the two ideas together will create some more dramatic elements than I initially planned and seeing as Peyton is already wanting to be a martyr of sorts, I'm going to have her plan be called the Fall… not necessarily meaning she's going to be singing from the rooftops of her love for an Everybody right away.

Hopefully that's a good enough answer for you. :) And if it's not, please ask me to elaborate and I'll try to in the next update.

**Chapter Three: Tiptoeing shouldn't be this complicated**

I tossed and turned all throughout the night because I realized what I was missing out on all those times I shot my parents down when they asked me if I wanted to go to Confessional with them. Damn. Letting it all go is a pretty nice feeling indeed, something I could get used to. Who am I kidding? I bet you all didn't buy it.

Anyway, I suppose I should continue on with the story then. After all, that's the reason 200 of you have been downloading each of my podcasts. It's not merely to just listen to my voice—unless you're my U.F.'s or something (hey to ya'll if you are indeed listening). The word has spread that an Untouchable is opening the secret door of what being an Untouchable is really like. I bet everyone can't get enough of the juicy gossip. Ah, there's my sarcasm making its daily appearance. All right, that's just a cue that I need to carry on before I bore myself out.

The school year was panning out like my three others before it. I found myself in a whimsical state half of the time—swimming in my own thoughts of tasting that forbidden apple, much like Adam did in the Garden of Eden. And the other half of the time, I spent with my fake comrades, fully awake amid their constant exhausting, self-obsessed talks of fashion, sex, parties, money, new cars, more parties, their supposed legendary sex lives, shoes, and yet again, parties. And when I felt like I was just about to drown, Brooke or Madison would say something to provide meaning to my sitting under that certain maple tree in the middle of the courtyard and not off in the library with Lucas.

Though after those numbing and hollow conversations, I found myself in the library feeding my temptation as if I was getting the oxygen that was cut off from me when I was listening to that crap outside. My visits started to become a daily habitual process, seemingly unnoticed by almost all of the Untouchables (save for Brooke and Madison). I would come in for my free block, which was strictly for seniors who had 3.7-4.0 GPAs, walk back to the space before Lucas'-- that way I knew he would have to walk through my space to get to his (sneaky, I know)-- and whip out my sketchbook and iPod, and let the music speak to me. Like I intended, he walked through my area to get to his. I did this everyday just to see him. A very desperate thing to do, but you try being head over heals for a guy for four years and not being allowed to walk over to his table, sit down, and talk about anything and everything our imaginations would let us go. Some of you are probably thinking that if I didn't have a gun to my head, then I had the right to do whatever I wanted, I am the "_the"_ girl after all. Like I said earlier—I had everything to lose, while he had everything to gain. Selfish and ignorant, but that's… that's insecurity more than anything.

Well, like I said before I went about explaining myself, I did this everyday. I didn't hope that he would say something to me or that he would smile over at me, what am I saying, of course I did. But I guess I didn't go in there everyday setting myself up for defeat. I merely did my routine: set up, listen, and draw. But like a few times before, fate decided to mix it up a bit.

_It started to downpour in the middle of lunch, and seeing as all of the Untouchables ate in the middle of the courtyard, it took us about five minutes to get inside. _(No special treatment for us when it comes down to everyone else's dryness.)_ Ergo, I was soaked to the bone almost—thank goodness for leather jackets, I suppose._

_I was little bit pissed, to say the least, and didn't really give a rat's ass if I saw Lucas that day or not. I just wanted to sketch out some of my pent up anger now. So I nodded a hell of a curt nod to the librarian, who grudgingly got used to my presence in there, walked back to my section, got out my sketchbook and pen, and grabbed my iPod and turned it up to its highest volume. Thank God for Sunny Day Real Estate to subside my vehemence._

_Sketching made me feel free within the walls of social strictness and caused the suffocation to be alleviated for at least a little bit. It also helped me clear my head of schemes and philosophies—not that those were bad; they just cluttered up my mind._

_I was drawing this girl with her heart threatening to burst through her chest, her mind being pulled in so many ways that it was making her dizzy, and her gut was being turned upside down so often that it made her nauseated. It was no secret to me that it was a self portrait, so my subconscious wasn't pulling one over on me, but then out of no where, a piece of loose-leaf notebook paper slid onto my sketchbook._

_It read: Good song—"Guitar and Video Games" by Sunny Day Real Estate._

_I looked up to see who slid me the note, and to my utter amazement, it was my _the _guy. I quickly told myself to remain cool, act natural before I ripped my earphones out of my ears._

"_Yeah, it is," I replied smiling shyly. "It wasn't too loud—I mean, it didn't make you come over here 'cause it was too loud, did I?"_

_Lucas smiled and shook his head. "No, I was just passing through like I normally do and I just heard it." He was wearing yet another band tee—this one being Eisley—and it had the same effect on me like his Radiohead one._

"_O-okay, good." I stuttered, thankful that he didn't come over because I was being a nuisance. I then pointed to his shirt, "Nice shirt, I love Eisley."_

_He seemed surprised by that because he raised his eyebrows and had a shocked look on his face, a pleasant shocked look. "Wow, I guess I ought to give you even more props on your taste in music." Lucas then scratched the back of his neck and started to laugh—his eyes lighting up as he did, which in turn, made my heart skip a beat. "I thought you were into crap like Good Charlotte or Avril Lavigne."_

_My jaw dropped, which caused him to laugh a little bit harder. "You thought I liked _that_ stuff? How embarrassing!" I was stunned, hell, petrified even. "Well," seeing how he could've connected the dots, I was an Untouchable after all and 'our' music consisted of bandwagon bands and artists who's labels mislabeled them as punk or hardcore when really they were just pop-rock, "I guess I can see why you thought that."_

"_Yeah?" He replied in a thick manner. It was obvious that Lucas thought that my concession was intriguing: not too many times did an Untouchable actually admit to the group's 'bad taste.' I bit my lip-- smiling slightly, heart racing-- and nodded._

_Lucas then smiled one of those goofy smiles I saw him ever so rarely wear when he was around Haley or at the River Court. I took that as a very good sign. I was just about to ask him if he would like to sit down, but he interjected. "Well, I guess I better get to reading—I have fifteen boring pages of Dickens to read before the block ends." He fidgeted with the strap of his messenger bag and said, "It was good talking to you—who knew you Untouchables could string a sentence together when an Everybody was around?" And with a smart-ass smile, which I finally learned was also a good natured one as well, walked through past the bookcase and out of sight._

_I couldn't believe what had just happened. For the first time since the beginning of the year, which was the last time I remembered I was this way, I was so excited. But compared to the last time I was excited, this time was so much more fulfilling because it meant that I wasn't just risking my entire Untouchable title for a guy who couldn't stand me, like I had feared until only recently. Lucas Scott was so much more appealing now. I wanted him more than before!_

But for some reason, that was the last time for a long time that Lucas actually talked to me. He must've thought that it was a fluke-thing and that I would talk to him and remain tolerant or even nice. Though, each time he walked through, I smiled over at him and he smiled, at first, a forced one, but the more I did it, the more legitimate his became. So I crossed off the 'Superior-Inferior' explanation. Another reason that passed through my mind was that when he put that note on top of my sketchbook, he saw that I wasn't just doodling like many art wannabes did in the library so they could perhaps be seen as poetic or deep, but I was sketching something real. Maybe he thought he was respecting my space for that creativity to be tapped. But when I thought about that more, and believe me I thought about it a lot, that seemed too conscientious and cautious for him. After all, the first time I entered his space, he let Bevin and I know clearly how he felt about us—he was too blunt to keep his distance over my feelings. And then I finally came up with a reason that fit him like a glove: Lucas saw something he didn't expect to see and was too afraid of liking what he saw because it broke all the guidelines he was comfortable with. Therefore, he recoiled back to his section only to pass through mine and meet a smile—no harm done, no stereotype broken.

I'm sure a few of you are wondering why he was afraid of "seeing something he liked." Well, I vaguely mentioned in my first podcast on the matter that sometimes Untouchables would torture their U.F.'s by playing emotional and mental games with them. What games were those? This most used one: flirting with them in secret one day and then publicly humiliating the U.F. the next, for a start. It had happened a few times since my class had been walking the halls of Tree Hill High. One of the more memorable and often whispered about examples is the Mouth and Rachel fiasco, which took place during our Junior year and became known as the "Playing House Incident," now a scandalous event because it seemingly backfired slightly.

You see, Rachel had been inviting Mouth, her nerd and U.F., over to her house when her parents were out and told him ways to "get a girl of his dreams." Slowly but surely, she started to make him feel like she really, _really_ liked him—supposedly she tried to de-virginize him even—because she started to tell him her darkest secrets, like where she was during eighth grade. So it was no wonder Mouth (who's one of the sweetest and most genuine guys if you ever knew one) started to really, _really _like her back, possibly even loved her. So one day, Rachel got bored and decided to call Mouth over to the maple tree from his picnic table where he, Haley James, a.k.a. Tutor Girl, and Lucas sat during lunch. It seemed like the entire student body became in awe by the call-out of a nerd and U.F. from his _the _girl; every eye was on Marvin "Mouth" McFadden in the courtyard. He slowly rose and walked over because he knew either he was meeting his dreams or facing his nightmares. Rachel smiled her most disgusting of fake smiles and said:

"_Hey Mouth," her Elmo-esque voice rang out loud enough for everyone in the courtyard to hear. I knew the worst was coming for Mouth—she was putting on a show for the Untouchables and the Everybody's—and I could tell that Mouth knew as well because the small hope in his eyes dimmed in a very pained manner._

_I looked over at Nathan, pleading him to stop her, but I met a stone-mask: Mouth never helped Nathan out (not like Nathan ever asked him for it though). _

_Rachel began to speak again, "Mouth—I said 'hi,' aren't you gonna 'hi' back?" Rachel's hyenas started to cackle at their leader's debatable entertaining behavior._

_Knowing that everyone in the confined space was calculating him where he stood, Mouth knew better than to disrespect an Untouchable. "Hi Rachel," he responded in the most broken and meek of whispers that I've ever heard. Again, I looked over at Nathan, but he gave me an even sterner look. I knew he was just doing what was expected of him: to be strong, and letting an Untouchable have their fun was a way to make an example for all of the Everybody's so they could see what would come of them if they tried to break any social law. But nonetheless, I couldn't watch. _

_Brooke placed one of her hands on top of mine as if to say quietly that even though it was an injustice (Mouth was a great guy and didn't deserve this shit), we couldn't do anything about it. I was sick to my stomach with knowing that._

_The cackling from the hyenas got louder as Rachel smiled with pleasure. She loved the attention. "Well, Mouth, remember the time you told me that you were a virgin?"_

_Almost all of the Untouchables started to laugh, except for me, Brooke, and Nathan. And by seeing the Untouchables laugh, many of the Everybody's started to laugh as well. After all, the want of fitting in causes everyone to become a pack of wolves, especially in this case, because they felt superior for once and they liked it, no matter how fiendish and appalling it was. _

_I looked over at Mouth's table where Haley and Lucas were sitting there with bitter and enraged looks on their faces. I saw the fire in Haley's eyes, like she had in them when people asked her where Lucas lived, and I saw the muscles in Lucas' jaw twitch every few seconds because he was clenching his mouth shut so tightly. They were like statues compared to all of their laughing Everybody's._

_Then I brought my eyes back to the wrecked Mouth. His face was so red, burning with embarrassment and hurt. I wanted to slap Rachel so hard, but I didn't because I was a coward. A bloody, gutless coward and I wasn't using the one thing Dani said I had: my instincts. Instead, I put a silencer on them, just like all of the Untouchables who had hearts to begin with as Freshmen had done so quickly when the entered the club._

"_And remember when you told me that you really, _really_ liked me?" She continued on savagely. Almost in unison, the wolves let out a gut-twisting 'aw.' _

_Rachel's eyes were maniac almost—she loved this power in such a crazed way and with each passing second, she was becoming more obsessed with its luxuries. "Remember when you—"_

_And then someone shouted, "Shut up!" The person who did was finally a statue no more: Haley James. She was standing up now, her chest heaving up and down heavily as if all the compassion and hatred in her being was making it hard for her to breathe steadily and evenly._

"_Aw, look everybody," Rachel began with a wolfish smile in place, "Tutor Girl to the rescue."_

_The courtyard erupted in another set of chorus-like laughter. Haley though didn't waiver one bit, hell, it seemed like it put that fire within her ablaze more._

"_Ha, ha, ha." Haley mocked, impersonating Rachel extremely well 'cause she sounded just like Elmo, and I found myself snorting out a laugh, which met the receiving end of Brooke's elbow and the knowing look of 'watch it' from her eyes. "You do really well when you're picking on one of your, what do you Capones (that's what the few Everybody's who disliked the Untouchables called us—Al Capone was a mobster from the 1930s who inspired the movie "The Untouchables") call them, oh right, you're 'Ugly Frogs.'"_

_A few Everybody's shouted "yeah" boldly so to show their support for Haley and their hatred for us Untouchables. _

_Rachel smugly smiled in her seat, but I could tell that she didn't like where this duel of sorts was heading. It could end up being very dangerous for her, which is the reason why I enjoyed Haley's outburst very much so. I looked over at Nathan again to see what his take on the matter was, and to my astonishment, he looked like he was admiring Haley's loyalty to Mouth when so many had abandoned him. _

"_What, cat got your tongue or your hyenas' tongues, Elmo?" Haley jabbed at Rachel. That's how I came up with calling Rachel's group hyenas (never would've guessed that, would you). _

_Rachel shrugged, "Why are you so worried about my tongue? I don't play for that team, Tutor Girl, sorry." And again, the courtyard had laughs echo against its strong walls, but not as many as before. Obviously some of the Everybody's were starting to side with their own kind._

_Haley threw her head back and laughed so hard with utter amazement. But what totally took me aback was her quick wit, "Thank God for that because I wouldn't want to catch any of your STDs!" It was Haley's turn to have the majority laugh in her favor, including Brooke and I._

_By the look on Rachel's face, I could tell that she got served and she was in shock from it. But right when all Hell was about to break loose, Nathan stood up, which made all of the other Untouchables get up, and started to walk out of the courtyard tipping off to everyone in the courtyard that the circus was over._

That story's end still cracks me up to this day, but the beginning half of it still causes painful tremors to echo in my mind. Every time I see Mouth pass Rachel in the hall, I watch his head lower, the tips of his ears turn pink, and his shoulders drop. Rachel gets off on it all right, but then she sees Haley follow close after Mouth and that smirk or excitement in her eye disappears. It's Rachel's turn to feel shame.

But like I said, it's no wonder why Lucas would not want to talk to me—I could be lowering my bait to him and then reel him in for a hellish bake feast in front of the whole school. After witnessing one of his best friends humiliated, he knew better than to get too close to an Untouchable.

Though I liked him way too much to just let him be misled or typecast me, so I broke one of the enhancements of the ultimate rule of being an Untouchable: I talked to him for no good reason. Again, I can only imagine some of you laughing at that—maybe I'm just paranoid, I don't know—but unlike the last few times, I don't think I need to clarify myself. You all probably know all too well from where I'm coming from now.

_It was like any day for me in the library. After all, humans usually go along with mundane routine just for the thrill of having the security of simplicity and predictability. But the library wasn't mundane for me, that's where I was able to be an Everybody without people sizing me up every five seconds or seeing what shoes I was wearing or how hot I looked in a miniskirt or regular jeans—I was just a girl with an iPod cooing her spirits and a sketchpad in front of her nose to help her release her emotions in a very safe, non-alcoholic induced way. It was also the place where I got to see my _the _guy, after all._

_So just like everyday before, Lucas finally turned the corner and came into my section, but before he could walk all the way through, I turned off my iPod and greeted hurriedly, "Hey Lucas!"_

_He stopped right in his tracks and turned to look at me. Lucas had that goofy smile in place again when he frivolously said, "Hello Madame!" He then did a magnificent bow—his cheekiness made me laugh. _

_He was about to make his way to his section when my voice again stopped him. "Do you have to read again… because I was wondering if you would like to, I don't know, talk about music or something?" I knew that that sounded completely and utterly retarded—talk about music? What was there to talk about? It was a normal kind of thing to talk about when there was actually music being played in the background and then people could humorously play a game of whether they like this song, band, album, etc. or what comes to mind when listening to it or, you get the point. But there was no music being played and my iPod wouldn't do much just because I would lamely scroll down each band asking if liked such and such and maybe exchange a sentence or two if he actually liked them. So that would just be awkward._

_Lucas had a puzzled look on his face—he must've been thinking along the same lines I was berating myself about. But there something else existing within those cool, blue pools of his: distrust. My intuition was dead on after all. After a few seconds had passed during his excruciating contemplation, Lucas finally made a noise, "Ugh…"_

"_Okay," I interposed—this was my last stab at it, "I know that was a really lame reason why you should come over here and hang out with me, but I guess I'm just, I'm just trying—" and it was my turn to be interrupted._

"_Hey P. Sawy—" Brooke exclaimed half way as she caught sight of me talking to Lucas, "--er," she finally finished my name. Her eyes moved from me to Lucas and then back to me. _

_They continued to do that dance until Lucas excused himself, but Brooke stopped him. "No, no! You should stay, I mean," she threw me that look of knowing when it comes to two people's chemistry and her blessing of their chemistry, "Peyton was just about to say something to you and I think you should hear what she has to say because P. Sawyer is such a great person to talk to and I wouldn't want you to miss—"_

"_Thanks, Brooke, for that summary of my talking skills," I broke in blushing a little bit._

_Lucas laughed at our funny banter. Brooke looked over at him with favor sparkling in her eyes' depths and then back at me, "I can see why you want to talk to him, he's the elephant in the room, just like you!"_

_All of us started to lightly laugh like good friends usually did, but we were not good friends, and acquaintances would even be a stretch. "Well," Brooke continued slowly, "I guess I'll just go look for my book somewhere else."_

"_You were in here looking for a book?" Lucas asked her incredulously._

"_Nah," Brooke said flat out, "I just thought it would make my exit a little less awkward." On that cue, she turned on her heal and left. Right when I thought that was the last of Brooke, she shouted, "Call me, P. Sawyer!" I could hear the librarian's outraged 'Shh' for Brooke's outburst._

_Still laughing, Lucas finally took a seat at my table. "I can see why your best friends with her, she kind of reminds me of Haley."_

_Liking his insight because it was the first time I had ever heard him really let me in on something he thought, I smiled and asked, "Yeah?"_

_He shrugged and started to pick on the corned of the table. "Yeah," he started, "I mean—yeah—Hales isn't popular or known as 'hot' among you all, but she's blunt. A lot like how Brooke is, I suppose." Lucas looked up finally and smiled, "And she knows when to take a hint from her best friend to get lost."_

_I laughed at that. "Yeah, she is good at that." Pausing for a moment, "I guess she learned from me since I'm the one usually interrupting something, but it's usually way past talking—if you know what I mean."_

Not much happened past that point, except that we talked a little bit more about our best friends until he finally whipped out his latest read and said that he had to read it before next block, so I took the hint and started to sketch. We were both doing what we enjoyed the most in the quiet confinements of the library, together.

Man that sounds completely cheese-tastic. Goodness, I can be such a cornball sometimes. I suppose I've seen my share of teen movies, but what can I say, it rubs off on you.

Of course, my actions were soon found out but not by the likely source I thought would be pissed off about it: Haley James. I swear, the next time she saw me heading towards the library after lunch, she grabbed my arm and shoved me into the Tutor center, which was right before the library doors.

"_What the hell, James!" I exclaimed as she shut the door and locked it._

_She pivoted quickly and I met her fiery side that always threatened to leap out when an Untouchable messed with one of her friends. "Wow, I'm surprised you even know part of my name."_

_I started to laugh—it was exactly the kind of wit I was used to when it came to the small group of Everybody's who hated the Untouchables. _

"_I guess you would find it funny since all of you Capones love defiance. You must think of it as some comedy sketch, but let me tell you something," she said taking a beat so her seriousness of what she was about to say could be duly noted, "if you hurt Lucas in anyway way, you'll have me to deal with and I won't stop like I did with Rachel."_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I was starting to get pissed off now, "You think I'm talking to Lucas just because I want to make him the school's next piece of entertainment?"_

_Haley didn't have to nod because the anger in her eyes said yes all over them. "Let's get something straight, Haley," she smirked at my seriousness now, but I continued on anyway, "I'm not that kind of person. Rachel's a bitch!"_

"_Oh, and you're not?" She slyly replied while crossing her arms._

"_I would hope my past actions would speak for me." I earnestly shouted back. I was getting riled up because I thought I wasn't like Rachel or her hyenas, but I guess the Everybody's didn't see it like that._

_Haley didn't respond. Instead, I could tell my comment was making her think. "Just because you're not a bitch, doesn't mean you're not planning something," distrust fueled this statement instead of logic. I knew Haley was just being protective, much like I was when it came to Brooke, so I saw Haley as an equal at that moment and not just a defiant Everybody, like I usually did._

_Becoming exasperated and exhausted from defending myself, I sat down on the edge of one of the tables and threw my hands up in a defeated way. "Listen," I started quietly, "I know it may seem preposterous, but I actually like Lucas."_

"_What, as your lap dog?" Haley bitterly spat with a laugh. _

"_No, actually I've liked him as my _the_ guy since Freshman year." I answered so smoothly that even the best of liars wouldn't have been able to pull it off. Haley must've known this too because the shock of hearing an Untouchable say something as blasphemous as that was practically unheard of, especially for this generation._

"_Wh-what?" was all she could put together._

_I shrugged and crossed my arms, "Four long years of driving by the River Court for no reason other than seeing him smile or with his shirt off. Four long years of supposedly looking at other guys or checking what time it is when really I was just covering my tracks 'cause I was staring at Lucas. Four long years of biding my time, really. Shocking and unbelievable, but," I clucked my tongue, "here I am right next door to the library after lunch just to catch a furtive glance at your best friend where no one would see me doing it."_

_Haley slumped against the door for support. She seemed to find her voice after a few long seconds of quiet reflection. "Are you trying to tell me," Haley started off meekly, "that you're in love with Lucas?"_

"_In a roundabout way," I paused, "yeah." _

_She mouthed 'okay' to herself and stared up at the ceiling blankly as if telling God himself that this was definitely a curveball. But then suddenly, out of nowhere, she softly, but firmly said, "Stay away from him, Peyton."_

_It was my turn for a curveball. "Wait, what?"_

"_You heard me—stay away from him," she threw at me, in the most tolerant of ways of course._

"_Why?" I asked feeling as if she had just slapped me. Did I not meet her par for approval? Was I not good enough for him? _

_Haley smiled sadly, "Because you're a Capone and he's an Everybody. Even though you think you're the one flirting with disaster, you're wrong. You have to remember that Lucas is one of the most disliked Everybody's from your people's scope. They'd eat him alive before you dropped one spot on the totem pole."_

_A numb feeling started to coarse throughout my body as if it was running coldly through my veins. "I didn't think about that, I guess," I replied so quietly and shakily. _

"_Yeah, well that's obvious." Haley responded after a beat; it almost bit harder than her harshness with me earlier. She started to unlock the door and turn the knob, "Just stay away from him, Peyton. It will make both of our worlds a whole lot simpler."_

I didn't know how long I was frozen in that room after Haley finally walked out of the Tutor center. Maybe five, ten, or fifteen minutes? I never checked when I got into my car—totally skipping out on the rest of the day at school—I just had to catch my breath far from that school of elitism and cliquish fanaticism. So I drove and drove never stopping until I, on autopilot of course, pulled into my driveway four hours later. I was calm by then, but the type of calm where you're really just exhausted from the emotional exertion more than an acceptance of the ordeal.

I, nonetheless, stayed away from Lucas just like his best friend told me to. It wasn't that I didn't want to mess with the drama that Haley was likely to bring, but more on the fact that I didn't want to have any of that shit loaded onto Lucas' plate, like Haley said it would because that's what always happened when it came to us Untouchables and our relations with the Everybody's. It should just remain a superior-inferior kind of existence because no one would get hurt that way, especially the person you would never want to see hurt: your _the_.

So I stopped going to the library, hell, I even avoided that hall altogether—the Everybody's hall. It was their hall because every Everybody activity existed in that hall: tutoring, art club, skate club, computer club, chess team, debate team, Academic Decathlon, and finally the realm of their encouragement, the library. I was no more in that area of the school from November on through December all because of a fiery Everybody who was tired of all the emotional baggage her kind had to carry around just because the Untouchables made their lives Hell when they walked through Tree Hill High. We made them feel awkward, insecure, fat, ugly, dumb, restricted—we made the feel beneath us, rich fucks, who had nothing better to do than worry about fashion, sex, cars, money, and parties. Good riddance was I to a girl who was ready to get out of this town because my friends gave her and her friends nothing but bad memories.

Smothered, suffocated, cluttered, mindful, crestfallen, ashamed. The list could go on when trying to describe me during that time. I was just simply serene on the outside, but a spacious shell on the inside. Brooke and Madison saw my detachment from myself the most—it was as if they were watching me emotionally check out, like a person would check out at a shitty motel with their eyes lowered hoping the owner wouldn't ask them if their stay was nice because the truth would pop out naughtily: no.

I became a state of nothingness. I merely existed. People at school noticed, heck, whoever's listening in on this and saw me during that two month period, they're most likely shaking their heads in agreement with me. I became my confused little self from Freshman year where I thought I was all alone with no hope of a savior or a way out. But just like back then, Dani reached out of the darkness and pulled me into the light.

_I was so smashed when I lazily danced on top of the coffee table. Many of the guys were gathered around me, cheering me on, laughing at my drunken state, shouting for me to continue on. I did as I was told like every Untouchable has to sometime or another._

_Suddenly a warm hand grabbed my wrist and I was quickly shaken out of my haziness._

"_Peyton get down," a voice that had slowly become separated from a body. A voice that saved me, helped me, counseled me so many times over the years._

_Squinting my eyes and looking down into the crowd that had gathered around me to the petite blonde holding onto my wrist still. "Dani?" I questioned unbelievingly._

"_That's right, kid. Now c'mon, let's get you down from there." She said in a strong way. Me being so hammered, she knew that her sternness would provide all the encouragement needed to get me to do as told. Her voice did the trick because, somehow, I got down-- bumps and bruises to prove it._

_She slumped me down into the swing outside in the backyard and sat down next to me. "Peyton, Peyton darling? Brooke's getting you some coffee so you can sober up a bit." Dani told me, trying to coax me to sober up on my own more._

"_No," I weakly responded. "I'm liking the way I am now. I don't feel anything."_

"_We need to talk." That was the ticket, my interest was grabbed._

"_Okay," I yawned. "Talk, talk, talk away." I looked up at the green canopy above the swing set. "I want to see the stars… I miss them so much."_

_Dani was too smart to know that that was just a drunk speaking about stars absent-mindedly, she knew I needed hope. "You want to see the stars, kids, then the stars you will see." She threw my arm around her neck and said, "Upsy-daisy now," and clumsily walked me over to a nice patch of grass where I was sure to see the luminescent stars._

_They were so beautiful that I started to cry—now that I' m willing to say was probably the booze messing with my emotions. But I would also, secretly tell someone of course, say that it had been a long time since I had a feeling of something other than remorse or loneliness. "I love you, Dani!"_

"_Aw," Dani cooed rubbing my hair, "I love you too, kid. That's why I'm here after all 'cause I knew you needed me the most, more than ever before."_

We spent the night there, out in the backyard on the nice patch of grass watching the sky turn from inky black, to cool purple, and then finally a brilliant red. She gave me a pep talk that definitely sobered me up a little bit. But what seems to stick out at me the most is how she would look down at me in her lap and smile. Dani was all I needed to get back on track to do what I set out for: to get Lucas. She told me that I didn't need to have a formal Fall to be considered a great K-Roe operative—she never did anything as big as that after all. All I needed to do "was like the person I saw in the mirror," just like she told me to do back when I was sixteen that time on the pier.

"_Sorry I'm such a screw up, I told you I wasn't smart enough." I whispered hoarsely up at my older sister, who I really did consider an older sister. Tears started to cloud my vision and my throat started to rage a vicious fire within its walls. _

_Dani tusked and her brows became furrowed with sorrow. "You didn't screw up, Peyton. You lost hope is all. Shit, if I could count how many times I lost my way when I was an Untouchable, you would seem like a saint in comparison." She breathed in sharply, "You didn't disappoint me, kid, and you never will." Then she gave me one of those winks she used to throw at my way when she just let me in on a secret and I felt at ease and comfortable. And that's when the alcohol came and took my wits—I blacked out._

When I woke up, I was home nursing the worst migraine I ever had. Brooke was by my side when I woke up and by the sad look on her face, Dani must've gave her the reason for my "departure" of sorts for the past couple months. She had been crying, I could tell by the puffiness of her eyes and the black smudges of eyeliner. That's when I knew that Brooke understood me completely and unconditionally—all of the defiance and rule breaking reasoned without me having to open my mouth once. But for some reason, I think Brooke hadn't been crying because she was worn out by my rueful behavior, I think she finally understood why I was so protective of her… because I knew every aspect, inside and out, about what hellish thing we had surrounding us. She was completely and unconditionally grateful, and she didn't have to open her mouth once.

Well, I'm beat from all of this talk about the rollercoaster called my life. So I'm going to just end this podcast and call it a day. So yeah, I'm going to go sketch, mull over some things, and maybe have another podcast uploaded by the end of the day. So yeah.

**Author's Notes**:

Yikes. This chapter is longer than I expected it to be. Hopefully you all weren't too overwhelmed by its length. If so, I'm sorry. It's hard finding a good enough stopping point when it comes to this story, to be quite honest. I guess I'm just layering it.

Thanks so much for all of the reviews, guys! I'm so amped by this story's reception. It's definitely the only story in _my_ writing-ology that I'm proud of because it's different and completely opposite from anything I've done before. It's fresh to me. I really enjoy writing it, and it's so natural to write as well. Hopefully, you all are liking it as much as I am. I'm skeptical about this chapter specifically because it's more emotionally bent—it gets more personal and upclose instead of a far away, safe perspective. We're not seeing things through Peyton's eyes through Dani's philosophies much anymore, but really what Peyton feels the need to do (if that makes much sense whatsoever). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations! Lol.

Please leave a comment! I love reading your thoughts about it. Oh, and if you want to ask me something, feel free to shoot it by! Thanks ya'll! You all are simply amazing. :)


	4. Oh Em Gee

Wow, an explosion of reviews! Thanks guys for every sweet review you gave me. Haha, and thanks Someone164 for the music compliment. I love my music… it's my heart and soul—kind of like how it is for Peyton.

Sweetness, I don't know if you really want me to answer that question. It might spoil it for you!

**Chapter Four: Oh Em Gee**

Okay, I'm back. I keep finding myself thinking about what I should tell you all and what I should leave unsaid, more out of respect for some people who I care about rather than for my benefit. I'm sure a few of you are thinking, "Ohh, I wonder what she's going to spill that will make someone mad at her?" Well, really, the piece of information may not be all that marvelous on your terms, but to this person, it means everything around them could be changed just because of a secret being told. Familiarity gone, consistency broken, and predictability lost just because of what I will shed light upon. But I'll get there when I get there… or I'll just leave you to interpret on your own.

I left off finding Brooke by my bedside knowing and understanding everything about me completely. The party that I attended that night was the first Christmas break party of the, get this—I know it will be hard to comprehend—Christmas break. There are a series of parties that happen during the break, but there is only one of the utmost importance to the Untouchables: the Annual Christmas Bash, which is commonly referred to as the "ACB." This event is exclusively and strictly just an Untouchable party (Everybody's were generally tolerated at impromptu parties of ours, but the ACB was on a totally whole different level). Why was it "exclusively" an Untouchable party? Because the alumni from '02 would be there.

It was a tradition that was started back in the days when college became prevalent in Tree Hill. Past Untouchables would come home from their universities during their holiday break and meet up with their fellow alumni and younger brothers or sisters. One time, some Untouchable had the idea of having a party in the middle of no where, where the Everybody's wouldn't be able to find them, and just have a wild party to commemorate their older brothers or sisters, who showed them the ropes and passed on the torch of elitism down to them, and get wasted in the process. The ideal party for the ideal group, in other words.

I'm sure a handful of ya'll are thinking how the Everybody's wouldn't find out or figure out where we were holding the party. Well, seeing as the Untouchables were already a very paranoid group of kids, we covered our tracks meticulously. The Seniors were in charge of picking the spot, decorating, beer running, and also the code or key for finding the party. Seeing as it was my class's year to host the ACB, we were just as particular as we were in the summer when we were picking the Freshmen Untouchables. We had groups of people scour abandoned houses, cabins in wooded areas, beach houses their parents owned, and more. Once they found a prime piece of real estate, another group would run over there, usually in the cover of night (we were enthusiasts for faux-James Bond missions), and we'd get their take on the chosen building. In my class's case, an old barn off of the dirt road next to the river that was hidden by undergrowth and woods was our idea of some prime place to have a hidden party. What really sealed the deal for our choosing of the barn was because no one lived within three miles of it, save for the old Devonshire Mansion, but that is tale in and of itself.

Okay, I guess some of you are wondering why it's a tale and it's sad that you don't know if you actually go to TH High. But I'm guessing a few of you listening haven't ever seen or heard of the mansion, and I'll let you in on it. The Devonshire Mansion was originally a plantation back in the days, but when the Union soldiers came through back during the Civil War, they destroyed many of its barns and even went as far as setting most of the cotton on fire; ergo, ruining the land's use. Nowadays, though it's one of the most wanted pieces of land in North Carolina and pleasantly resides in Tree Hill, giving us a few tourists and realtors a year scoping out the magnificent, charming southern home. The house itself is massive in size, but not tackily of course. The mansion is even said to have inspired architects of many generations—that's side information though.

Anyway, what really makes the inhabitants of Tree Hill curious about the Devonshire Mansion is that no one knows who actually lives there. Many people have theories though of course, like it being the summer home of Bill Gates, or the quiet media-less haven for Al Gore, or even the apple of Michael Jordan's eye of all his real estates. But even though those names sound so grandeur and brilliant, none of them have been spotted here in town… ever. Yes, many say that they get their staff and maids to run around town for them while they lay around enjoying their surroundings, but that's more of stubbornness than naivety, if you ask me. But the mystery of the Devonshire Mansion's owner always threw us Untouchables through a loop, so it was no wonder why so many of my comrades okayed the barn, which was only a mere half-mile away from the old plantation, so quickly. I guess the idea of being so close to someone with that much wealth, even for us richies, was a turn on in so many respects.

The barn though was one of the most ridiculous of places. 1.) It was run-down, 2.) it had no electricity, and 3.) it needed a good cleaning. All three set backs were something none of us Untouchables had ever experienced in our cozy, half-a million dollar houses (or more), but like I earlier mentioned, we were paranoid and covered our tracks. So we got to working.

We organized a group of people, with an '06er heading the group, which was delegated to Tim (all of us girls must have thought that we were paying him back for all of the times he tried to feel us up when we were drunk), and gave them clean up duty. They worked on its tidying up for three whole days while a few of the guys who knew how to install electricity ran around and did that. Finally it came down to what girls did best: shopping and decorating. It was our turn to work on the barn and many of the Untouchable girls went crazy from all of the stress. Rachel, being the power hungry person that she is, was one of those few girls. I suppose because Becky was going to be at the party, Rachel thought that if she was the "leader" of the decorating and detailing that Becky would take notice of her and not of Brooke, which we all know was Becky's younger sister.

Brooke during all this chaos was as tickled as I was with all of the fanaticism being shown toward certain alumni members being in town, especially about Becky because Brooke didn't understand why people looked up to her older sister. But another one of those certain alumnus brought up was _the_ Dani Jacobs. People, of course, brought up Nathan and how they dated, which caused many of the Untouchables to watch Nathan closely to see if he was excited or anxious or contemplative. A handful of those people were huge fans of Danithan (an '05er came up with that term back in '02), so they were hopeful to catch those signs, but to their dismay, none of them caught a glimpse of it.

Like Brooke, Madison, and I, Nathan watched almost the entirety of the Untouchables, save for us four, go nuts over this ACB with amusement. He knew that most of the alumni coming back were nothing to be celebrated or honored because all of them, except for Dani, were assholes and twisted fucks who ruined the bunch of us. So all four of us just sat back and watched the people with rose-colored glasses fix the barn up for the _honorable_ and _legendary_ alumni like the rat race it really was.

As others continued to work on the ACB, I found myself running around Tree Hill with Dani. Like the old days, we drove around in her BMW and just talked and talked. I saw Dani's interest start to peak when I brought up Madison more and more and how she was a lot like me. So to put an end to Dani's curiosity about my younger sister, I introduced them.

_You could hear the wind whistle over the car's body as Dani, Madison, and I drove around town in Dani's car. Tree Hill was a winter wonderland of sorts—snow covered the ground like it did in the movies, trees were naked without their leaves, and ice became fang-like from maturity. _

I could tell that Dani really liked Madison, maybe because Madison was everything I said she was and more. But when it came down to it, Dani didn't care that she was the next K-Roe agent, she thought Madison was a great kid who had the world at her feet and deserved to have it there. Madison loved Dani as well and she finally understood why I spoke of Dani with such jovial humility because Dani was to be honored and remembered and spoken of with a smile across your face.

Just like the old days, Dani drove by the River Court, which she said was 'just for old time sakes,' but I knew that Dani and Madison must've been reading my mind. Luckily, both of them understood me and supported me when I couldn't even do that for myself. Sadly though, the one guy I hadn't tried to get a glance of for two months wasn't out there playing basketball like he usually was.

"_How retarded are we?" Dani burst out laughing as she turned the wheel gently following the winding road._

_Both Madison and I looked over at her questioningly. "Well," Dani continued, "1.) it's cold as hell outside, 2.) I bet the court is icy as hell too; ergo, no Lucas playing basketball for us to shamelessly stare at."_

"_Damn," Madison cracked up laughing. "No eye candy for Mahwah!" _

_I found myself laughing too, but deep down I wasn't laughing because it was funny or sad, I was laughing at myself for the first time in a long time. _

"_We're jackasses!" I shouted as Dani pulled into an open and vacant parking lot._

_Dani nodded her head as she parked. "Yeah we are!"_

We sat there in her car with the heat running just talking about everything you could imagine all three of our minds combined could think of. Some topics were random, others hilarious, and then some were sad, but nonetheless, we were opening up ourselves… peeling off all the protective, calloused layers that we grew to help shield our emotions and feelings from the outside wonderers and critics. It felt good to know that I wasn't alone, like I had felt not too long ago. I couldn't believe that I was so stupid to think that by the people surrounding me, especially with Brooke, Madison, and Dani there to support me.

"_So," Dani broke the comfortable silence that sit well with all three of us for however long it had extended. "I have this incredible CD I haven't broken in yet, and I was wondering if you two would be okay if I listened to it for the first time you all?"_

"_Ah, the music sessions continue!" I chimed in with a small smile dancing lazily across my lips. I looked back at Madison to help clue her in, "Dani and I used to buy CDs like crazy and try them out with each other. Sometimes we would hear something that would help give us direction when we were too pissed off to talk about it or, I don't know, I guess help us reason out what the hell we were doing." _

_Madison smiled, "Kind of like what we do."_

_I nodded and smiled a little brighter. "Yeah, kind of like what we do."_

"_Aw, now that was a Kodak moment, girls!" Dani teased as she finished ripping the plastic covering off of the CD. Her eyes looked all over the cover art of the disk. "I just love Radiohead."_

_Almost as if a conductor cued for us to nod, all three of us started nodding in agreement. _

_I peaked over and saw that it was OK Computer, my favorite Radiohead album. "You've never listened to OK Computer before, Dani? What rock were you living under?"_

"_Ha, ha." She replied sarcastically. "For your information, I just got into Radiohead a few weeks back when my indie boyfriend popped it in for some mood music for our on going make out session. So I'm a newbie, back off."_

We were silent when the music finally started to course through the speakers and fill the car with ambience and unique guitar riffs. We were silent when Thom Yorke promised vindication or passionately called out for Sarah. We were silent all the way up to "Karma Police." That's when we found our compass we were waiting for during our raucous quiet time.

"_Karma police, arrest this man," I found myself singing along to this familiar song I knew the words of so well. Words that breathed life and expectation into me so many times before, but now this song breathed hope, something I needed to be steadfast and unwavering._

_All the way up to the chorus I sang, and then when the chorus came, I was silenced by this gut feeling that was giving me butterflies all of a sudden. "This is what you get, this is what you get. This is what you get, when you mess with us." It was our anthem, Operation: K-Roe's anthem. It was our promise, our direction, our assumption, our commitment, our tagline, our essence, our passion, our life. It never dawned on me before, even when I whispered the words so bitterly to myself as I sat listening to it in my dark room at night._

_I looked to Dani, who was looking at me with this spark in her eye that I never saw so pleasantly stick in there. She looked over at me the same way she looked down at me when my head was in her lap at the party she rescued me from, I saw favor in her eye… and unrequited pride that I never saw blossom in her green depths before. With wide eyes, I looked back at my little sister who was too sharp to have missed what Thom so beautifully, yet coolly sang. She had wonderment and awe written all over her face. Madison found my eyes and said without saying that she was experiencing something real, which was something, other than our friendship slash sisterhood of course, that the Untouchables didn't bring to the table._

_The Untouchables were fake in every aspect. They never spoke what was on their mind unless they knew they had a safety net; they never told their secrets to their 'best friends'; they never wandered outside their bounds because they were roo superficial. We were fake, but our little group in the car was tangible and true. Operation: K-Roe was the shit and Madison finally wholeheartedly saw that even though earlier in the school year I gave her the anecdote for being a changeable Untouchable—she finally realized what we were doing and just by a short, repetitive chorus. _

_When the song finally squealed and buzzed to a halt, Dani turned the volume all the way down. She was paler than usual, but more alive than ever. Silence ensued for a good minute until Dani finally broke it with a, "Fucking-A!"_

_The car again erupted in laughter just like it had before the revelation hit. _

Us three, and sometimes even Brooke came along for a ride, went out on those drives not always in search of answers or reasons, we just enjoyed each other's company. It was as if when we were in Dani's car, or sometimes my car, that the Untouchables didn't exist and we lived in a happy place where only music and random insinuations mattered. We all became even closer than before, if that's even imaginable, but we did. I guess it was because we found something that fit in so perfectly for the answer to that doubt that sometimes broke loose and wreaked havoc in all of our minds: why are we doing this?

While we spent our time driving around our good old Tree Hill, the rest of the Untouchables finally finished renovating the barn for the ACB and the party was only a matter of three days away.

Soon many of the posh Untouchables that couldn't go anywhere without being seen with someone of the opposite sex on their arm, started scrambling for dates; one of those Untouchables being Rachel. Man, if you could watch her try to be so sly when it came to it too (I'll help you do some commentary on it sometime if you want to have a good laugh), you'd be in hysterics.

Well, Elmo started to blab to her hyenas about who she was thinking about seducing into asking her to the ACB, and seeing as her hyenas were gossip whores, they spread the information around quicker than you could say "STDs." Somehow the info landed in Brooke's lap, which in turn, fell into my lap.

Rachel, since coming back from wherever she was in eighth grade, had her eye on only one guy: Nathan. But like the insecure girl she's always been, Rachel never had the guts to ever ask him out… until the ACB came around, that is. And it all went down at the barn after the heaters started running.

_Boredom spelled on all four of our brains as we waited to hear the electricians of the Untouchables say that they had installed the heaters correctly. None of us found this event particularly pencil worthy, but since Nathan said that everyone had to be there (he was cornered into by Rachel and her followers when they asked him to make it mandatory, and since he was facing either STDs or conceding, Nathan chose to have the event "penciled in" instead), everyone was there. He apologized to us three, but we all gave him a pat on the back for his wise decision—it was only an hour out of lives when he could've been facing a lifetime of embarrassing symptoms. _

_We all had taken notice to Rachel's unusual optimism, though, but seeing as she was in power of the situation at hand, we all took it for her power hunger being supplied a good dosage for the day. Oh how wrong we were!_

_When Tim, thinking he was macho, came out of the back corner with that disgusting grin smacked across his face, we finally knew the job was done. People started clapping and making their way for the barn's exit. Us four did the same, all saying under our breaths that we were glad to get out of this hell hole, when Rachel cut us off._

"_Hey Nathan," Elmo greeted with a smug look on her ugly mug. "Can I talk to you?" Her hyenas all started to whisper now as if they were seeing something so amazing happening._

_Nathan raised his eyebrows and looked over at Brooke and I for some help. "I, um," he started but Rachel cut him off._

"_Oh, well I'll make it quick then." She cheekily said as if thinking her witty humor would help spell out her offer to Nathan. "I was wondering," she weaved her arm in his and started to drag him off, in turn Nathan whipped his head around, pleading with us to intervene somehow, "if you wanted be my date to the ACB."_

_Nathan's clinched his jaw so tightly that his muscles in his jaw started to twitch, much like his half-brother's did when Rachel was teasing Mouth in front of the student body. _

_Rachel must've taken that as a sign as horniness because she went even further. "And then afterwards, during, or before or even all three, whichever you prefer of course, I'll promise to," and that's when she whispered her 'seductive' promise into his ear. Nathan's eyes became wide with horror, but with Rachel as self-obsessed and oblivious as she was, didn't see it._

_Taking the look of disgust as my cue, I walked over and decided to rescue the squeamish boy. "Oh Elmo, back off. Nathan's already got a date."_

"_What?" Rachel loudly asked, causing everyone who was still in the barn to look over at us three. "Who's the slut that he's going with then—you?"_

_I started to laugh as she glared over at me with vexation; I sincerely loved getting a rise out of her. "No," I replied as if she was just a child. Nathan gave me a look of 'what the hell are you doing, you're giving her hope' but I finished what I was saying, "he's going with Dani."_

_Shock covered Rachel's face. "Man," I continued, "if Dani found out you called her a slut, I bet she wouldn't be too happy, especially since she dated Nathan before and finds the idea of going out with him one last time cute." Rachel's mouth was now hanging open out of fear. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. She wouldn't like hearing that at all." That's when I started to nudge Nathan to walk back with me towards Brooke and Madison._

"_Wait!" Rachel called over to me. "Peyton, wait." She ran over to stop us. "You're not going to tell her that I called her a slut, are you? I've worked so hard this past week to make this party perfect just to impress the alumni. Please, I'll do anything." For the first time in all the time of knowing Rachel, I found her completely sincere in that moment. I did see how much she was working and I found the nice side of me winning over the side that liked to mess with Rachel. Damn, I was becoming a softie. "Please," Rachel whispered again._

_I huffed and gave her a look of indignation. "Fine, but on one condition."_

"_Anything," she said quickly, obviously trying to make sure I knew that she was more willing than ever to do something to prevent me from telling Dani._

The power that jolted inside me at that moment felt very alluring. I could see why Rachel enjoyed having power within her reach—it was an adrenaline rush. So many ideas came to my mind when I tried to think of the perfect thing Rachel would have to do to pay off her debt. Finally a very enticing one came to my mind, something unexpected: it would be more for longevity than momentary, to say the least.

"_All right," I began, "apologize to Mouth."_

_Rachel laughed, she obviously wasn't taking me seriously. At that moment, I told Nathan to go ahead and get out of this place while I still had Rachel's attention. "What? I didn't do anything to Mouth that I need to apologize for."_

_I crossed my arms, "Oh really? Last year doesn't ring a bell for you?"_

_Rachel again started to crack up, and this time her hyenas _(goodness, they're so retarded)_ started to laugh with her as well. "Please, you and I both know that he was just some comedic relief."_

"_No, Rachel." I responded gritting my teeth. "It's this or Dani finds out."_

_We both stared at each other, well, mainly she stared at me to see if I was bluffing. But after what I saw a year ago and how I felt about it, there was no way in hell I was bluffing._

"_Fine," Rachel finally answered; she must've seen how dead-set I was on this._

_She started to walk off reluctantly with her pack of wolves towards the exit when I stopped her again. "Oh, and Rachel," Rachel turned around slowly with her arms crossed and her face snarled, "You apologize before the ACB." _

_She only nodded her head curtly in response and again made her way for the door. "That's 72 hours if you couldn't do the math in your head!" I called once she was already outside._

_I looked over at my three friends, all of who had smiles on their faces because they were trying to keep from laughing out loud. _

Finally the day of the ACB was here. I was just happy that we could finally get it over and done with because it was definitely something I hadn't been looking forward to, save for the extra hang out time with Dani.

All the Untouchables had to meet up at the barn already ready and make last minute touches to the decorations, count the kegs, make sure the sound system worked, and make sure the back up generator worked so if the power went out, we'd still have basic lighting and heating to keep the party going.

Brooke, Madison, and I went up to the barn together. None of us were really looking forward to having to deal with Nazi!Rachel, as we started to call her since the beginning talks of the ACB, for at least an hour before the alumni started showing up around 11. When we got there the music was already blaring, the lights were as bright as ever, and it seemed like a mountain of kegs were ready for our indulgence. We got there early for no fucking reason. Brilliant.

But unlike we suspected, Rachel wasn't so much of the Nazi we were expecting. Actually, she already tapped open a keg and was already getting ahead of some of the guys who had been there for a few hours. Seeing as one of the major habits of the Untouchables is partying, it was no wonder that they started the party earlier than expected. It was also no wonder though that the majority of us were already alcoholics by the time we were Sophomores.

Slowly, after a couple of hours, the alumni started coming through. Fans of certain legendary Untouchables, who were so wasted by this point, started to freak out if their older sister or a supposed Sex God came through the barn's entrance. I could only smirk at the incredible waste of life that was in the barn at this point, but that thought slipped my mind when I saw Dani and Nathan walk in together.

It seemed like everyone in the large room looked over at the same time once someone shrieked Dani's name. What Dani must've been thinking cynically to herself when she saw five generations worth of Untouchables staring over at her breathlessly, I don't know. But unlike many of the people in the room were expecting (remember, Dani was amazing at pulling off the Faux-Opossum that so many took her as Valley Girl-ish), Dani didn't squeal "Let's fucking party" like she used to or even do anything of the sort. Nathan actually awkwardly smiled and said hi meekly, hoping that people would continue on with what they were doing before they had came in. Luckily, the brighter crayons in the box started chatting again and the dimmer crayons followed their lead.

Dani and Nathan walked over to us, both apparently not wanting to be here.

"_Hey guys," Nathan said slumping down on the couch (some people brought furniture into the barn) next to Brooke. _

"_Hey," we all responded together in a very bored way. _

_Dani sat on the arm of the couch next to me. "So, some party."_

_We all laughed in unison at her sarcasm. "No lie," Madison responded a little more awake than when she was when Nathan greeted us. _

"_Who's here?" Dani asked curious as she looked around the barn for familiar faces._

"_Well," Brooke chimed in holding her cup of beer lazily, "let's just say that the only people missing are Becky and Evan."_

_Dani nodded, as did Nathan and I, but Madison didn't. "Wait, who's Evan? I've never heard of him."_

_I tried to signal to Madison not to ask that question, but by the time I did, it was already out of her mouth._

_Brooke started to laugh and I gave Dani a knowing look of what was to come. "Well, Mads _(that's the nickname Brooke gave to Madison)_," her tone was already bitter and sober, "he was my _the_ guy who turned out to be a complete asshole." Brooke then down the remaining contents in her cup quickly. "I'm gonna go get another beer," she threw her cup down on the floor and walked over to the beer all the way on the other side of the barn._

"_Did I say something wrong?" Madison asked obviously picking up on Brooke's change in behavior._

_Nathan breathed in sharply, "No Madison, you just brought up someone that hurt Brooke in the past, someone who deserves to get a nice ass kicking, actually."_

"_Shit, I'm so stupid." Madison berated herself as she tried to catch a look over at Brooke. _

_I shook my head and side-hugged Madison. "No, kid, you're not. You just didn't know." I broke my embrace and said, "I'm going to go make sure she's all right."_

_That's when I got up to go over to Brooke, who just started downing cup after cup of beer. Sadness started to sweep over me when I saw my best friend in this distress._

"_Brooke, maybe you should pace yourself," I said taking the beer she was about to gulf down out of her hand. She sent me a look that I'm not too proud to have received, but I couldn't blame the girl. This was her way of getting numb before she had to see the prick. "C'mon, let's go back over to the couch and just sit down and ignore all of these jackasses, okay?"_

_Brooke shook her head, "No, I'm just dandy over here, Peyton." She was serious and stubborn. I knew that look in her eye too well to think I could get her to comply._

"_Do you want to go outside with me then, catch some air and get out of here before we go insane?" I asked earnestly. I didn't want to see Brooke like this—the protective side of me just wanted her to clear her head instead of her fogging it up with alcohol. _

_She didn't answer. Damn her stubbornness, I was just trying to make things easier. "Brooke," I pleaded._

"_Shit Peyton, if you want to go outside, go outside." She belligerently spat at me. It stung worse than anything ever threw at me before, not because it was mean or rude—my best friend was taking her pain out on me. But like the doormat I usually am, I let her walk right on over me. Brooke noticed her remark stung me, so she changed her tone so it wouldn't be as harsh. "I'm fine here, Peyton, just go on." And at that, she downed another beer._

_Feeling a bit miffed, I did exactly what she told me to: to go on. I walked outside bumping into a few people here or there, not apologizing for doing so, and met the coldness of winter and the darkness of night._

I must've walked around outside for a good half hour before I finally realized that I was cold. I suppose with worrying about Brooke and being pissed off at her at the same time kept my mind off of my extremities. It wasn't the first time Brooke yelled at me for getting too close to the truth about Evan. She must've have done a good number of times, but me as protective as I am when it comes to her, I couldn't help myself. It wasn't that I would ask her, 'Brooke, what happened?' or anything of the sort, it was how I would try to calm her down or get her to take a few deep breaths to get her heart to stop racing. But she knew me too well to know that I wasn't trying to get her to control herself, she knew I was trying to comfort her for whatever he had done to her that night. I guess she didn't want my comfort or anyone else's.

I aimlessly walked as I thought about my BFF; I just let my feet make the decisions for me. Before I knew it, I was out of the woods and on the dirt road that separated the woods and the Devonshire Mansion. I looked over at the beautiful and old home finding some comfort in the permanence the building protruded. Even though the crisp air bit at my nose and the wind nipped at my ears, I was warmed by the lights that emitted through the many windows of the estate. I was so captivated by the home, that I didn't hear the crunching of snow from behind me.

"_Peyton?" An all too familiar voice said from behind me. I was shook out of my reverie. I turned around slowly, squinting my eyes at the silhouette of the voice's owner. I saw the glimmer of those beautiful blue eyes that caused my stomach to flip each time I saw them._

"_Lucas?" I asked back with a bewildered smile on my face._

"_What are you doing here?" We both asked at the same time, which caused us both to laugh._

_Still laughing, I started to answer. "Well, the Untouchables are having our Annual Christmas Bash over in an abandoned barn back in the woods back there. I got bored so I decided to go on a little walk."_

"_In just a band hoodie?" Lucas questioned a little goofily. _

"_I was kind of pissed off when I decided to go for a walk." I answered laughing at my not so common sense. _

_Lucas laughed as well. "Here," he responded as he took off his worn jacket and handed it over to me, "put this on."_

_My heart started to race—he was offering me his jacket. "I, ugh, I can't accept that, you're going to be freezing then."_

"_What?" He cocked his head back and smiled. "Nah, I have like three layers on under my sweatshirt. My mom and my grandma wouldn't let me leave the house," he naturally nodded off at the Devonshire Mansion across the street, "without this much on. I'm burning up, actually."_

_I took the offered jacket and slid into it. I could smell him on it and I swooned. Again my heart started to race—I was wearing his jacket. "Thanks." But then I realized what he had just nodded off at. "Wait, you live in the Devonshire Mansion?"_

_Lucas scratched the back of his neck, like he usually did when he was nervous. "Ugh… yeah," he reluctantly said._

_Surprise hit me like a bombshell. "Wow," I found myself saying before I could bottle it, "I mean, cool, I guess."_

_Lucas started to laugh at my awkwardness. I suppose he was used to it from the handful of times we actually talked because it was usually awkward. "Yeah, I guess."_

"_I hope you don't mind me asking," my curiosity getting the better of me, he shook his head signaling me to continue, "then why don't you tell everyone that you live _here?" _I finally asked waving off to the mansion. "Hell, you could be an Untouchable if you wanted to."_

_He clucked his tongue before answering. "Well," Lucas paused looking over up at the sky, "I've never wanted to be an Untouchable, to be quite honest."_

_That's when I was reminded of who his mom was. "Your mom, K-Roe, I mean Karen Roe, she's told you all about us, right?" He nodded in response, but I continued. "Damn, I wish I would've gotten the DL before I became one." _

_Lucas laughed at that. "Well, you are one of the better ones. I mean, you're definitely not like Rachel or, what was that one Senior's name, Becky—you're nothing like them. They're why you all are called the Capones. They're the reason why my friends and I get made fun of or… y'know."_

_He was complimenting me in a roundabout sort of way and I couldn't believe my ears. Thank goodness it was dark outside or else he would've seen me blushing like mad. "I'm not that great, Lucas. Hell, I've been avoiding you for the past two months."_

_He let out another round of laughter. "Yeah, but I knew when I told Haley about our Library discussions that she was going to do something. So really, in a very ironic sort of way, it's my fault that you've been avoiding me." Lucas played around with the snow when he continued on, "Plus, Mouth called me up yesterday telling me how Rachel apologized to him about last year."_

"_Wow, she did that?" I asked trying to make it seem like I had no idea about it._

"_Shut up, you're not that great of an actress," Lucas joked as he looked over at me with that signature goofy smile in place. "I heard that you kind of blackmailed Rachel into doing it."_

_It was my turn to start playing with the snow with my foot. _

"_That's why you're one of the better ones, Peyton." He said after a few seconds had passed. "You actually kind of remind me of my mom."_

_Oh great! I remind him of his mom!_

"_I mean," he said quickly, trying to redo what he had just said in a very embarrassed sort of way. _

_Phew! I'm safe—I don't really remind him of his mom._

"_I mean that she wasn't superficial or cruel back when she was an Untouchable. She was actually very nice to the Everybody's—that's why she's so close with my Uncle Keith." He skipped a beat, "Kind of like you."_

_Again, I started to blush and I found a very big smile in place. "Thanks," I said barely above a whisper and he said 'you're welcome' in a very alluring way._

"_But wait," I began—my curiosity butting in once again. "Why not just get it out in the open that you live here and not in some shack or homeless shelter? At least people would get off of your back."_

"_Ugh," Lucas said as he started to think of his response as he dug his hands in his pockets. I, in turn, brought his jacket tighter around me getting another whiff of his scent. I was in heaven. "It wouldn't really erase the jokes or the rumors. People would still want to know more about me just in an opposite way. Instead of wondering if I'm poor, they'll wonder how much I'll inherit. Or who my relatives are or why I didn't come out about it. It would just get worse than it is now and I'm not up for another paparazzi like coverage at school."_

_I could understand why he was so reluctant to have anyone at school, save for Mouth and Haley, know where he lived—the Devonshire Mansion was Tree Hill's crown jewel. He would be seen as royalty, something he obviously didn't want. Plus, people who were so evil towards him for all of those years would try to start befriending him just because he lived there. Fakeness would crash into his world like an unexpected tsunami._

"_You wanna know something?" I asked, feeling a little adventurous. "I've always wanted to be an Everybody."_

_He looked over at me with amazement. Lucas must've not seen that one coming, but since he did have K-Roe as his mom, he understood why._

_Suddenly becoming aware of how long I must've been gone from the party and how people were probably becoming aware of my absence, I started to come back to my senses. "Shit, I've gotta go!"_

_Lucas started to laugh again. "I was wondering when you were going to say that."_

_I smiled a small smile. I really, really _liked _this guy. I started to take his jacket off when he stopped me from doing so. "No, you go ahead and keep it on. I'm sure we'll run into each other again anyway."_

_I shrugged his jacket back on, "Thanks."_

_As I turned to leave, I stopped myself. "You're secret is safe with me, y'know that right?"_

_Lucas breathed in the cold air. "Yeah," he responded. As I started to make my way back, his voice stopped me. "And yours is safe with me."_

_Our eyes connected for a good few seconds, and at that moment, I saw something I had been hoping for for the past four years: endearment in his eyes while he was looking at me. _

"_I'll be seeing you," he finally said as he started to walk backwards as to not break the eye contact._

_I smiled a magnificent smile while I subconsciously brought his jacket around me tightly. It seemed like he was right up against me, breathing softly and evenly, making sure I was warm. Finally I turned to make my way back to the party I really wasn't wanting to go back to at all._

By the time I got back to the party, almost everybody was completely wasted. I couldn't believe I associated with some of the people. Tim was taking advantage of some drunk Sophomore named Sarah, Rachel was pulling Paul, a Junior, by the belt seductively outside towards her car, Bevin was acting like, well, Bevin, and Brooke was slumped over on the couch next to someone I never wanted to see near her ever again: Evan.

All of the happiness I felt five minutes ago outside with Lucas was gone when I saw that prick feel Brooke up, who was so out of it she couldn't even put a sentence together. I found my instincts take over and my fight or flight—this time fight—adrenaline kick in.

_I had tunnel vision, practically just like in Almost Famous when William rushes over to Penny's hotel to save her, I did the same thing for Brooke because I loved and because I cared about her too much, even if she would hate me afterwards, to let her be felt up by some fucker who hurt her four years ago. He was dead for all I cared._

_I got over to that couch so quickly that I didn't have much time to think about what I was doing._

"_Hey jackass, that's my friend you're feeling up." I yelled at him, loud enough to be heard over the pounding music._

_Evan looked up at me as if I was ruining his game. "Good for you, you deserve a cookie. Now move along bitch, I was just in the middle of something."_

"_That's not how you speak to a lady, Evan." Said someone from behind me: Nathan. I had back-up. _

_Evan again looked up with venom, "Hey Nate, I was telling this girl to go away. Could you tell her to go away, like a good little brother?"_

"_Fuck off, Evan," Nathan shouted loud enough for everyone in the proximity to hear._

_Evan was obviously not used to having his orders shot down and disrespected. "What did you say?" _

_By this point, the music was turned down and a crowd was starting to gather around the couch to watch what was going down._

"_You heard me," Nathan responded coolly. "Let Peyton take Brooke home to sober up."_

"_How about," Evan got up quickly to square up to Nathan, "no. I think she wants to stay get something she hasn't had for awhile."_

_Nathan wasn't afraid of Evan, if anything, he was just worried about getting Brooke away from the jerkoff more than fighting said jerkoff, which is why Nathan bent down and gingerly grabbed Brooke by the wrist and tried to get her up. "C'mon Brooke, Peyton's going to take you home."_

"_Hey man," Evan said shoving Nathan to get him away from Brooke. Everyone started to shout for a fight to happen. Nathan never let anyone try to coerce him into doing something he never wanted to do, but this was something he wanted to do. _

_Nathan shoved Evan back. "You don't want to mess with me, Evan," Nathan said giving him fair warning. It was true, Evan didn't want to mess with Nathan because Nathan had a weight advantage, a speed advantage, a strength advantage, and sure as hell didn't have a beer belly like Evan. _

"_Oh please you, Pussy," Evan shouted drunkenly back. "You don't want mess with me," he mocked Nathan causing some of the crowd to laugh. _

_  
Evan then swung at Nathan, which Nathan dodged effortlessly. "I'm warning you, Evan. Back off!"_

"_Shut up and fight little brother, let Daddy teach you a thing or two."_

_Nathan laughed at that genuinely because he knew that Evan was just digging himself a grave. "Have it your way, _Daddy_." And Nathan jabbed at Evan, and jabbed him again, and again. By the time that combination was over, Evan had a split lip and a bloody nose. But seeing as the adrenaline was coursing through his body, he didn't notice the pain, so he ignorantly swung back making Nathan give him an incredible right hook, then Evan was out… cold._

_Shaking his hand from the pain of hitting someone in the face a few good times, Nathan said a little out of breath, "Get Brooke out of here, Peyton."_

_I rushed over to Brooke and swung her right arm around my neck. "Help me out here, Madison," I said as I got ready to lift both her and myself up from the couch._

"_Here, I'll help," Dani offered as she started to come our way.  
_

"_Dani, don't." Someone with an infectious voice called. "Let them take care of my little sister on their own. They obviously don't know what they're committing." And Becky emerged from the crowd and in the open where all the craziness happened._

_Dani put her hands on her waist and threw her head back as if there couldn't be enough drama for one night. "Becky," Dani said turning around to face her 'best friend,' "when did I start taking orders from you?"_

"_Aw, you still have that stick up your ass since we left Tree Hill, do you?" Becky joked, which made the people who adored her from my generation laugh._

_Dani laughed along too, but I could tell that Dani was just letting Becky do her thing while Dani did hers. Dani again made a move to help Madison and I out with Brooke, but Becky intervened again. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, you're going to teach all these Freshman wrong just like your little sister is doing right now with her younger sister."_

_When Becky mentioned me, I saw a dangerous flicker seer through Dani's eyes. I knew all hell was about to break loose. "Well, look at your younger sister, Becky." Dani started to slowly clap towards Becky with a malicious smile smeared across her face as she continued on, "You taught her so well. She's doing what you told her to in that, what was the first step in that shitty book you wrote yourself about losing your Girl Next Door persona? Oh yeah! Step one: Get raped."_

_I could tell by the discomfort of the crowd that Dani was making an effective point, especially with Cassie, Brooke's younger sister. Brooke didn't pass on Becky's book down on to her because Brooke had a heart, so Cassie was getting a crash course in the history of why Brooke was so screwed up sometimes._

_Becky couldn't think of a good comeback, so Dani went in for the kill. "Oh, none of you knew about that, did you? Becky was such a good older sister that she fed her younger sister, four years back, to that piece of shit," she pointed vehemently to the knocked out Evan on the floor, "when she blacked out so she could have him as her boyfriend again—she thought of it as a transaction of sorts."_

_Rage covered Becky's face. She looked like a caged tiger who wanted to attack its tamer but couldn't. "So yeah," Dani continued on looking at the crowd, especially at those who were initially rooting for Becky, "cheer for this coldhearted bitch who took advantage of her little sister when she was supposed to be," Dani's emotions were starting to get the better of her because I could see tears forming in her eyes and her voice started to crack, "when she was supposed to be protecting her."_

_People started to lower their heads out of embarrassment. Dani moved toward us again and finally met no interference. She motioned for us to get the hell out of there, but she wasn't done saying what she had to say. _

"_So go on ahead and talk about her like she's some kind of role model or hero for us Untouchables. Hell, I'm sure some of you will, but remember this: if you've ever woken up from a night of partying next to a guy you never said yes to with your wits about you, you have Becky to thank for that. She's the reason some of you lost your virginity or the reason you felt violated by some of these pricks in the room because she decided to turn her back on her younger sister and those ignorant followers back in '02 started to do the same thing to their best friends." _

_We were finally at the door. Nathan joined us on our excursion just in case Brooke finally gave in to her alcohol taking over her body. And for her finale, Dani did what everyone wanted her to say when she came through the door earlier. "So let's fucking party," she said sarcastically slapping a forgotten beer across the room that was sitting on one of the speakers next to the door. "Let's fucking party." And just like the four of us ahead of her did, she turned and walked out of the silent barn._

I can only imagine how awkward everyone felt in the barn when my group left. I remember hearing through the grape vine that everyone just went home after that, not really seeing much fun in partying after such a "downer." But even though I felt embarrassed for Brooke, hateful towards Becky, and thankful for Nathan, I was so proud of Dani. She had finally done what she wanted to achieve when she was in high school, only four years later: speak some truth about Becky, her supposed BFF.

Unlike Becky was trying to say, Dani was the best teacher when it came down to it because she not only taught her younger sister that night, but five generations of Untouchables about loyalty and friendship. She was to be honored and remembered and spoken of with a smile across your face.

Sheesh, I spoke for a while about the Christmas break. Longer than I thought it would take to talk about it. Whatever, I suppose that there was a lot to speak of. Anyways, I suppose this is the end for this particular podcast, seeing as I'm parched as hell! Damn, what I would do for a glass of water.

**Author's Notes:**

Goodness me! I seriously did not anticipate this chapter to 1.) be this long, or 2.) take this long for me to get out. I'm not lying when I tell you that I at least started this chapter three different ways before I was finally happy with this one. That's why it has taken me longer than I would've wished to update.

Thank you for all of your support—I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I honestly have to say that I was a little hesitant with putting so much in one chapter, but I didn't want to have two chapters during the same night, I felt that that was too long to spend on, like I said, one night. Ergo, one long, massive chapter. Hopefully it wasn't boring or unbearably long for ya'll. If it was, I apologize. When I start writing, it's hard for me to stop when I'm in my groove.

I felt like this chapter was rushed though, what do you all think?

Again, thanks for all of your support! I hope to hear from you all! I love hearing what you think, even if it's you giving me constructive criticism. Lol.


	5. Two aces up thy sleeve

You all are so amazing. You never stop making me smile—all of your comments are so lovely. Every time I read 'em, especially before each chapter (you all are what makes me want to write this story more and more and not just for myself anymore), I get so happy. You all are definitely pimp worthy, so I'm going to list everyone who's reviewed so far now:

Unfolddream, Ella P, Mimi the Witch, Someone164, Joise, Itzalliballi, Mugglette, ISLover, PSawyer29, DomLetty4eva, Sweetness150, The ghost of Christmas goth, Angeldylan628, Natasha, Innocentchick161, Leeleigh, Jamyja, Rachael, Bluebird24, Bola, Popcan11, LuvtheOC09, LeytonUnit, Tuggyangel08, and last but not least Findy0urself.

Thanks so much ya'll! You all are brilliant people that touch my life just by reading and reviewing. Your reviews definitely make me love this fic more, and I was already loving it before anyone reviewed, so now I'm like hardcore in love with it. So thanks a bunch!

Someone164, yes, I do like At the Drive in! Definitely one of the only bands on the side of punk that I listen to; they remind me of Mars Volta sometimes. Good stuff, and they're from Texas!

Bluebird24, I really want to continue on From On High, but I've hit major writer's block on the story. It's one of my favorites in my archive, possibly because it's about music and stuff, and it's AU and I love AU stuff. Maybe when I'm finished with this fic because it takes me so long to write each chapter (four to five hours each), I'll update that one. Thanks for being so loyal to that story, for that, I'm so grateful! You rock and I love your stories, btw. I do. Some of them are my favorites and I need to add them to my favorites list.

**Chapter Five: Two aces up thy sleeve**

La la la la. Okay, so I can't sing. Anyways, I was just thinking about the Christmas break some more and it made me want to sing a Christmas-y tune… so I did. Anyways…

Christmas day finally came to Tree Hill and thank God for that because with all of the drama going on, I could use a day-in at my house without thoughts of the Untouchable versus the Everybody's.

Christmas was supposed to be a cheerful time that you spent with your family in front of the fire and just remembered silly family vacation spots that you would not be caught dead at nowadays. But for my family that couldn't be anymore opposite. My mom died when I was nine and ever since then every sense of family ideal and necessity seemed to die with her. It wasn't that my estranged father didn't love me, I know he did, it's just that he couldn't stay home for more than three days straight without getting an itch to leave because too many memories of my mom would surround him. It's not that those memories would only surround him, no, they would slowly suffocate him.

My eyes got used to seeing the asphyxiation at a young age. He would come home after a long semester out at sea, tired and awkward—he'd be fine for the first day. Then when the second day came around, I would find his eyes dimmer than they were the day before. He would constantly be in thought, biting his nails, pacing, and changing song before it reached its entirety. His restlessness wasn't infectious though, but it did hurt to watch. I knew that my father would never find solace within the walls of our home again. So in a roundabout way, I was glad he found something, even as rocky as the cold waves in the ocean, that helped him fall asleep at night. After all, didn't sailors and pirates of olden tales call the sea their girl? Well, she made for a good enough mistress for my father.

It was no shocker that my father called me on Christmas Eve telling me that he took up another shift and wouldn't be able to make it home for Christmas. Hell, I couldn't blame him—Christmas represented everything my family lost when my mom ran one red light and met her fate as another car T-boned her. The doctors said it was swift, instant, painless, fearless death, so I took the news of my father's avoidance the same way. I had to. If I didn't, I'd find myself feeling the icy feeling of loneliness succumb me just like it did for my father every time he stepped foot into our charming home.

So I prepared myself for another Christmas of seclusion and isolation. This would be the fourth one. People were right when they said that the holidays were a hard time to spend alone, so I always went around repressing the thoughts of family, togetherness, happiness, and love every time a commercialized holiday came around. I guess you could say I just pretended it didn't exist… I just turned all the lights off, put some Postal Service on the turntable, and let Ben's crooning and the crazy electronics of Jimmy engulf my mind and my soul so I wouldn't be tempted to think of "what if's." Like say, what if my mom made it through the red light unscathed? Would my family still be together? Even if we wasn't, would I be on good terms with my mom unlike other teen girls? Would she listen to my favorite bands, even if they were screaming profanities? Would I have a curfew? So on and so on. If I did think about the "what if's," I would feel my heart become aflame and sorrow would fill me up. I didn't want to see my old friend sorrow after all, so I made sure that the music shouted louder than my thoughts.

Brooke every once and a while would skip out of her gaudy family get together to escape the weird uncles, the bitchy aunts, and their bratty children, and be able to just relax. I envied her and her family. Sure they weren't perfect, but at least she didn't come home to an empty house. Hell, I would rather a negligent father rather than an emotionally turmoil-filled one or a drunken mother rather than a dead one. At least she could hate her parents because she wanted to whereas I couldn't because they weren't there to hear my screams of anger. But I didn't hate my parents… not even close. But nonetheless, I got used to the quietness on Christmas. Hell, I had to deal with the same thing everyday, so why not on holidays?

I greeted Christmas just like any other day on the calendar, by groggily waking up. And after finally willing myself to get out of my very contemptuously comfy bed, I slumped over to the bathroom and turned the faucet for my shower to spray to life. Then after my shower, I dried off, got dressed, went down stairs, ate a breakfast bar, grabbed a can of soda out of the fridge, slid into my shoes (damning my shoe laces for their rebellion to stay tied), picked up my keys, walked out the door over to my lovely vintage muscle car and, oh, that's when I saw it! It still puts a smile on my face to this day—I got Oreo'd.

_My beautiful black 1964 Mercury Comet Caliente was covered with those damn cookies. I found myself fuming before I could even comprehend what had happened. My breath became wispsy clouds by how heavily I was breathing. _

_But before I lost it all completely, I saw that there was a note slid in between the windshield wipers and the windshield. The snow crunched under my feet as I walked over to the car and picked up the ice cold and damp note._

_Dear Peyton,_

_You've been tagged! Sorry you had to find this on Christmas, but I didn't want you to pretend the day didn't exist on your calendar. So I gave you something to remember the day as other than your "just like every other day in the year" day. Kill me, slap me, hate me, tie me up (uh-oh, don't get any fantasies now),—_I seriously laughed at that—_jump me, but most especially… (dramatic pause) call me. _

_I love you P. Sawyer!_

_B. Davis_

_P.S. Just in case you decide to get revenge, I just wanted to tell you that Madison and Dani helped me so if you're going to inflict any pain on me, you need to "pown" them as well. _

_XXOO_

I was glad that I had those three as best friends. They always seemed to cheer me up, even if it meant defacing my amazing car that owns all other cars.

Well, the reason why I was leaving my house on Christmas day, especially since every store and establishment would be closed, is because I knew I would get cabin fever if I stayed in an empty house all day; ergo, I drove around for many hours.

I never had a destination in my when I drove, I just drove. Sometimes I would stop when something caught my eye that I would usually just ignore, like funny signs or sublime parks. But mainly I just moved with the road, drinking in the asphalt and paint, letting mewithoutYou chaotically beat and emphatically scream stories out to me. At those moments, I knew I was as crazy as Ellen Page's character in _Hard Candy_ because I was too indifferent to the holidays whereas she was just indifferent to the emotional and psychological torture she was inflicting on the captured pedophile (not saying I don't blame her). I should've been home being thankful that I was alive and breathing, aware and feeling. Not out on the road pretending that Christmas never existed. So I took my car getting tagged as a sign not to convert back to my old Christmas tradition of wallowing even though it really wasn't wallowing… I prefer the term brooding.

So I decided to clean my car instead. I went back into my house, filled a pot with some water and started to heat it (I wasn't going to risk my car getting paint damage by just pulling the cookies off of it—hell no, I loved that car way too much for that brutality). When I was finally satisfied with the hotness of the water, I slowly walked outside to my car, as to not spill the water. It was a painstaking process, but at least it gave me something to do. It gave me time to my own thoughts.

I thought about the lovely memories of my mom and how she used to make homemade cookies and cream ice cream (I was taking care of Oreos after all) on hot summer days when I asked her to. She would give me such a warm hug and said, "Anything for my favorite hazel-eyed girl." Then I started to think of the subtlest of details about her: how the afternoon sun cascading in through the blinds highlighted the golden flecks in her eyes, which were hazel just like mine; and then when she smiled her biggest smile she would shake her head a little as if not believing whatever my father or I said comically; or how she would laugh, like truly laugh, and then her golden curls would fall from behind her ears and into her face, then she would so gracefully push them back and I would see the life in her eyes. But I have to say that I remember the most about my mom was the way she would look at my father after he came home from work. I knew from a young age that that was what love looked like. It wasn't something you would notice if you were in a rush or if you were too busy contemplating something else—if anything, you would have to be as simple as a child to recognize it or as knowing as the love who was receiving it to spot it. It was a look I hoped to someday find within the depths of my one true love.

It took me two and half hours of hard work to get every last one of those damn cookies off of my car. Even after all that work I had to put into it, I still didn't find myself mad at Brooke and the gang, so I decided to give her the call she asked me to in the note.

_I walked back into my house for the final time and locked the door. A little out of breath, I ran up the stairs and into my room and plopped down on my bed. After a minute of regaining my loss of breath, I reached over to my phone and dialed the number I knew so well by memory: Brooke's._

_It rang a few times before Brooke finally picked up._

"_Hello?" She asked like any cordial phone-picker-upper._

"_Hey there bestest friend!" I said a little sarcastically, I just wanted her to think she was in hot water._

_She laughed nervously, "Hey Peyton, so you saw your car?" If I knew Brooke as well as I thought I did, I could guess that she was squinting her eyes and smiling in a very pained way at the thought of me being pissed off._

"_Did I see my car?!" I asked heatedly—I was proud of how well I was pulling this off. "I don't know, _Brooke_, do you think I've seen my car yet?"_

_Brooke didn't answer, but I knew she was nodded idiotically. I started to laugh hysterically. I just imagined how Brooke was probably thinking I was crazy now and how she probably had her "awkward" face on._

"_You're so gullible! Do you really think I would get _that_ pissed off about getting tagged?" I finally slipped out._

_Relief must've fled over her face as she placed her hand over her heart. "Shit, Peyton don't do that!" She yelled at me, "You seriously had me thinking I was in deep."_

"_Well," I said sitting up and leaning against my backboard, "at first I was pretty pissed off, but then I read the note and it explained everything and…" I paused playing with the hem of my shirt, "I wanted to say thanks for doing it, even though it's completely backwards!"_

_Brooke laughed lightly, "Yeah, it is, but that's why I thought you would find something about it to laugh at." _

_There was a comfortable silence that radiated for a few seconds as we both must've felt memories of our friendship pull us in. But it was broken when Brooke spoke again._

"_I wish I could skip out on this retarded party to hang out with you," I could tell that Brooke genuinely meant that, "but seeing as my mom threatened to show embarrassing childhood pictures to all the dates that ever stepped into our house ever again, I can't."_

"_Who could blame you? I know how embarrassing those pictures are because I took a peak into your mom's photo albums and the picture of you in that rabbit suit is pretty funny!" I joked with my best friend of ten years without a care in the world._

"_Oh shut up! I was four and didn't sense the emotional insecurities that I would reap from it." Brooke rationalized to me. _

We talked for a few more hours about this and that, mainly just about when I was going to give Lucas his jacket back.

"_I bet you cuddle with it when you sleep!" Brooke laughed at the idea. "Better yet, I bet you pretend it's him and you roleplay with it." _

"Brooke," I started in between laughs, "how can I roleplay with a jacket?"

_She kept laughing, "I don't know, you're an imaginative one, P. Sawyer."_

"_No, but seriously, when are you going to go stop by his house—wherever he lives—and give it to him? I'm sure he's freezing since he supposedly lives in a shack in the woods."_

_Tsking, I furrowed my eyebrows. "Oh please Brooke, you don't believe that shit about where he lives, do you?"_

"_Something tells me you know where he lives since you asked that in a very matter of fact way." Brooke's intuition was dead on._

_I paused, "So what if I do?"_

"_Stalker!" She squealed out as if it was the latest piece of cuteness to ever live. "I bet you followed him home one day so you could go reenact some Shakespeare one lonely night."_

_I couldn't think of a good rebuttal. "Oh P. Sawyer, you are so crushing on this boy aren't you?"_

_I didn't have to respond, Brooke knew the answer already, after all she did see the chemistry Lucas and I had in the Library. "I bet you want to shove him into a utility closet at school! Wait," Brooke said quickly, "can you do that and have it coordinated or something to where I could watch 'cause that would be so hot!"_

"_Brooke!" I cried out gasping for air because I was laughing so hard._

_  
"What?" She asked innocently even though Brooke knew her previous statement was anything but innocent. "But seriously! I want to know what you're going to do when you give it back to him, especially since you could take it back to his house." Brooke was probably cocking one of her eyebrows up out of wonder and intrigue. "What would you say, like usually girls don't just give the boy they like the jacket and leave."_

_Huffing more out of nervousness, "I don't know… I guess whatever pops into my mind."_

"_Whatever pops into your mind will be along the lines of jumping him." Brooke joked._

"_Whether you think so or not, I don't think about sex as much as you do, my friend. If anything, it doesn't even come to my mind when I think about him. Well," I smiled and looked up at the ceiling in thought, "of course it does when I find myself thinking about him randomly, but it's more on the side of, y'know, what would he whisper in my ear when we're cuddling or if a piece of hair fell in front of my face, will he brush it out and kiss me or would he brush it out and then look at me like he wants to kiss me."_

_I met silence on the other side._

"_Brooke?" I asked a little confused after a good minute._

"_You're in love, P. Sawyer!" She teased. It was my turn to ignorantly shake my head, but just like I knew what she was doing, she knew what I was doing. "Yes, yes you are and don't shake your head because you know I'm right."_

_I laughed, "You're crazy—your hormone radar is so far off on this one that I'd be surprised if you could spot two Freshmen in _like_ right now."_

We bantered back and forth on how the other was wrong for a few more minutes until the first extended family member arrived at Brooke's house. We said our goodbyes and then hung up. I didn't know what to do with myself then… I couldn't call anyone else because I knew Madison and Dani were both over at relatives' homes in Tree Hill and it would be rude if I called and interrupted something serious. But right when I was about to say "screw it, I'm going for a ride," I heard my doorbell ring.

One thing people understood about me was that when someone rang my doorbell, I rarely answered it. 1.) It meant that you didn't know me, 2.) you were probably a door to door salesmen, or 3.) you were one of my U.F.'s, and yes I appreciated them to death, but I just thought it was a little creepy how they would show up on my doorstep.

But seeing as I was already looking for something to get my mind off of having nothing to do on Christmas, I decided to break the rule one time, after all, it was Christmas.

So I went downstairs, screaming "Coming" all the way down so the person who rang my doorbell wouldn't leave because no one answered. When I finally jumped down into the foyer, unlocked the door, and swung the door open, I had no idea what a surprise I was in for.

"_Dad?" I asked idiotically. Of course the man was my father! "Daddy!" I wrapped my arms around him in a very aggressively happy way. His booming laugh told me he was okay with being here too as he embraced me back._

"_How's my favorite hazel-eyed girl?" He asked breaking the hug and to look me in the eye._

_Smiling so brightly, I shook my head, "I'm fine—what are you doing here?"_

_He shrugged and smiled a knowing smile. "I wanted to surprise you, so I came up with a plan to make you believe I was canceling. I got a hold of Brooke and asked her to tag your car so I knew you would be home and not out on those depressing drives you've gone on for the past two years. You're such an emo, y'know that?"_

_I punched him playfully in the arm. "You're terrible, just terrible!" _

_I was completely happy—my dad was home for Christmas! We could be happy for once on a holiday that always was sad for us. At least this once we could enjoy it for what it was worth._

"_C'mon, let your 'terrible' dad in the house, I'm freezing out here!" He said shouldering his duffle bag and waving for me to go in first._

_When we both were inside and shielded from the cold wind of the outside, he gingerly placed his bag down on the floor. He looked around the open house, taking in every nook and cranny of it as if he had forgotten what it looked like. "Why isn't there a tree, Goldilocks? It's a Sawyer tradition to have a tree," he asked as he walked in to the living room where the tree always stood in the corner next to the fireplace. _

"_What's the point of getting a tree just to blubber over when you're home alone?" I asked leaning against the wall, watching my father in the room I had so many memories of our family in._

_He nodded and then turned around to look at me. "I can understand that," his face portrayed a tired man that had a phantom that haunted him. "I'm sorry for the past few years, Peyt, I haven't been myself for… for a while now. I guess you've learned your emo ways from me."_

_I couldn't really bring myself to look at him when he deprecated himself. But then a random thought made me start to laugh. "Where did you hear about emo's?" I finally brought myself to look over at him out of curiosity._

_He smiled a big smile, "Well, I work with this kid who's always making emo jokes, I thought he was just retarded there for a while 'cause I didn't know what an emo was, but finally I asked him and," he said taking off his rugged jacket, "that's how I found out."_

We came to sit down in our respective places in the living room, me on the couch and he in his recliner, and we just talked about the most random of stories that made sense for us to talk about. Then he asked me the one question I knew any father would find interesting: is there a boy you like?

_I found myself blushing so badly when he asked this. "Um," I started laughing a bit, "man, that's such the most awkward thing your dad could ask, y'know?"_

"_Oh! I know, when my dad asked me if there was a boy in my life, I freaked out!" My dad joked as he scratched his scruffy chin._

_Laughing, "There's one guy."_

_My dad didn't seem surprised, but then he raised eyebrows and said, "Well, please elaborate about this 'one guy.'"_

_Feeling some major blushing coming on, I covered my face embarrassedly. "Okay, his name is Lucas Scott—" and that's when my dad interrupted._

"_I went to school with Dan Scott and Keith Scott, is he one of their sons?" My dad asked innocently (remember the Scotts and Roes were the only people besides Dani and I to know of K-Roe's pregnancy). _

"_Um," trying to come up with an answer, "Yeah, I think one of theirs."_

_My dad nodded and I took that as a sign that he wanted me to continue on. "He's really sweet and quiet, I'm actually surprised because he's an—"_

"_Let me guess," my dad interjected, "he's an Everybody." He looked over at me with this knowing look, "I was an Everybody too you know, I had the hots for Karen Roe, and boy, she was beautiful. But then your mom moved here and she… your mom was breathtaking, simply stunning." He had a nostalgic look on his face. He saw me looking over at him expectantly, "Go on with your story, I bet you want to finish it."_

_I shook my head quickly. "No, tell me more about you and mom in high school." I found myself sitting up on the edge of my seat with abated breath._

"_Well," he brushed his hand over his face, "she became an Untouchable like automatically because, well, she was rich and because she was, like I said earlier, gorgeous." He laughed a little as if he was reliving all of the awkward emotions only a teenager could have. "So, I liked her from afar, like so badly. I found myself looking over at her more than I should have and she took notice somehow." He paused and as if his memories was like watching a movie, I swore I saw memories role like a mirror-image in his eyes. _

"_One day, I was walking home when a car stopped in front of me—you see back then, people had to walk to and from school 'cause their parents rarely got them sweet wheels—" he added jokingly to tease me._

"_Thank you for my said 'sweet wheels,'" I thanked him quickly so he could carry on._

"_Well, that car I knew was your mother's. She stuck her head out the window," he laughed again and smiled so happily, "and shouted, 'Hey jackass, you wanna ride?' You see, I was petrified beyond belief, but my feet started to move me towards her and my voice spoke rebelliously for me, 'Sure.'" _

_He made a hand gesture to help him continue the story. "So I get up to the car and I see that Karen Roe is in the passenger seat. So I'm thinking that this is prank, not because Karen is in the car, but Untouchables together were a force to be reckoned with, that's just a rule of thumb. But anyways," he paused to cleared his throat, "Karen looked at me in this way like she was trying to tell me something without actually saying it, but seeing as I'm a guy and guys are incompetent, I had no idea what she was trying to hint at. She must've caught on to that because before I knew it, she said, 'Hey Anna, why don't you and Larry walk home, I'll take your car home for you?'" _

_My dad had this incredible smile on his face; I could see that this memory was one of his fondest. "So, your mom got out and… I walked her home, asked for her number, and asked if she'd like to go out sometime. Your mom's smile, even then, caused me to become light-headed. I guess that's what gave me the courage to ask her for those things. I had this feeling in my gut that I knew I couldn't let titles get in the way of liking this girl."_

_It was the first time I've ever heard that story before. Sure, my mom would tell me snippets of things here and there about them, but nothing so cute as that. Plus, I was like a kid back then so I didn't comprehend the beauty that surrounded it._

"_So, I think you should go after Lucas Scott the Everybody." My dad said, resting his head on the back of the recliner._

"_Actually, he's known as Lucas the Loner." I snorted out thinking how absurd the title was._

My dad told me more stories of my mom and he. Some of them were funny, others awkward, and still more and more romantic ones came. It didn't feel much like Christmas, more like some kind of family reunion that didn't need a set date, it just needed the two of us willing to open up our souls and thoughts to each other. To reminisce, to embrace, to honor, to talk… to just sit in the living room in our respective spots and be in each other's presence. That's my memory of the first real Christmas since my mom's death.

But that's not all that happened. I got another surprise.

_For the second time that day, someone rang the doorbell. Still not used to the idea of getting up and seeing who it is, my dad had to look at me funny to get me to remember good house manners, like answering the door._

"_I'm coming," I shouted, my dad winced at the shout, which made me smile as I walked over to the door. _

_When I opened the door, I was kind of stunned to see who it was. "Hey."_

"_Did I come at a bad time?" Lucas asked nervously. "I hope I didn't 'cause if I did, I can come back or I could never come back?"_

_I smiled and shook my head at my ignorance. "No, I'm sorry, I'm just shocked actually." I stepped out onto my porch and closed the door behind me. "And no, you didn't interrupt anything, it's just my dad. He just came home and he's like never home so, if anything, you came at the right time 'cause I'm in a good mood."_

_He laughed and smiled the amazing goofy smile that always seems to make my heart race. "Good," he said softly as his blue eyes became soft and not so sharp from anxiety. "You don't have a coat," he said kind of out of no where. He must've realized how awkward that sounded because he started to clarify himself. "I mean, I gave you my jacket so you wouldn't get into another situation like last time again."_

_Blushing and smiling that small smile that only seemed to pop up when he was around. "Well, I guess, seeing as this is the second time it's happened, we can call it our own little tradition."_

_He started to shrug off his coat and placed it over to my shoulders. I couldn't breathe for a second and I seriously thought I was going to lose all rational thought. "I guess I have live up to my past heroic actions then," he said stepping away, blushing slightly himself. _

_Then that small smile of mine bloomed into a beautifully wide one. Lucas smiled in turn and bowed his head a little. His scent was even more powerful on this coat than the other one… or maybe the other just lost it because Brooke was right, it was like a little blanket that I slept with. _

_We both stood there silent for a few comfortable moments, but then Lucas must've remembered why he was here because he started to ramble a bit. "Oh right, I, um, came here because—oh crap, where did I put it," he started to pat himself all over until he felt it in one of the back pockets of his jeans. "I came here because I wanted to give this to you." And that's when he handed me the most charming gift I had ever received: _Fahrenheit 451_ by Ray Bradbury. It was worn, but I think that added to the charming aspect of the gift, I could tell that he must've poured over the novel._

"_I know it's old and beaten up, but," he started to apologize slightly and I could tell that he must've felt very vulnerable at that moment because the tips of his ears started to become pink from embarrassment. _

"_No, I love it! I think old books are the greatest kind. They kind of tell a story on their own, I mean, other than the actual story on its pages. And dog-eared pages always tell me that someone took their time reading the book, not like others who read something just to get it done." I started to blush, I had started rambling. "Sorry, I should just…"_

_Lucas was smiling so brightly now, "No, I completely agree. When I took this off of my mom's bookshelf years ago, this was the one that I always wanted to read because of its wear… it always gave off the book had its own journey."_

_We had just had another moment. We both seemed to see eye to eye to this weird way of seeing beauty and attraction in something so worthless to a normal new book buyer. But the moment quickly ended when my front door opened hastily and my dad popped out._

"_Hey, you must be Lucas!" He greeted, offering his hand to Lucas. "Peyton's talked so much about you."_

_I felt like stomping on my father's foot so hard then. I could feel the heat radiate off of my cheeks, which were blushing so brightly now. _

_Lucas started to laugh, "Yes, I'm him I suppose, and you must be Mr. Sawyer."_

"_Ah," he said throwing his hands off at the idea of someone calling him Mr. Sawyer, "call me Larry."_

_I started to pray that my dad wouldn't try to start talking in our lingo, like how he earlier called me emo. I don't think I would be able to live another day if he said 'phat' or 'holla' or 'dude' even._

_No one said anything for a few seconds, and it wasn't like the silence Lucas and I had experienced a couple of moments before when my dad decided to come out. "Well, I thought I would come out and try to intimidate you, but I'm just not that good at intimidation so I decided the good old awkward route would be perfect."_

_All three of us started to laugh at that. "Thanks for offering your coat to my daughter, I really appreciate that."_

_Lucas started to blush like mad now. "Oh, I just thought it was the right thing to do."_

"_Oh and it was, you've definitely earned the 'parental okay' if you want to ask this hazel-eyed, five foot seven inch tall, blonde bombshell, I call my daughter, out sometime." And when I thought my dad couldn't embarrass me any further, he did... just by that statement alone. "So, I just wanted to come out and say hello and introduce myself." He turned to go back inside and right before he went in he said, "This is me leaving."_

_When he finally closed the door, both Lucas and I erupted into laughter, mine more on the side of embarrassment._

"_Your dad is pretty cool," Lucas finally said when he could catch his breath._

"_Thanks!" I heard my dad's muffled cry come through the door._

_Again, we both started to laugh. "Jeez, I can't believe he did that."_

"_No, but actually, other than giving you my favorite book… I came over to," he scratched the back of his neck out of nervousness like he did so many times and I waited, holding my breath hoping that he was doing what I thought he was actually doing. "I came over to… to ask you out. So, ugh, will you go out with me sometime?" He wasn't looking at me at all, but down at the ground in a very shy way._

_I felt all of the embarrassment flee from my body as soon as he asked that so shyly. "Of course!" I answered in a very uncool manner, but I really didn't give a shit. This was my _the _guy asking _me _out. I answered with a great, big, infectious smile on my face. _

_I guess he was expecting a totally different answer because his face was covered with shock for a few seconds, and then he must've finally comprehended what I just said because happiness soon followed. _

"_Really?" He asked unbelievingly, such an insecure boy, I tell you._

"_Yes!" Still excited by the prospect. I could only imagine how bright my eyes must've been, but I knew his eyes were hypnotically luminescent. _

"_Okay, how's this Friday at seven? I'll come by and pick you up, is that okay?"_

_I nodded jovially, "It's a date." Man, I need to work on my awkwardness around him. _

_He smiled slightly and started to walk backwards down the porch. "It's a date." He was about to walk off when I realized that I was still warm. "Wait, your coat! If you keep giving me your jackets, people are going to start thinking that we're doing more than just talking about books or music."_

_I slid out of his coat and gave it to him. "Now we couldn't have that, now could we?" He replied with the most alluring tone, which made me look him in the eyes, and I couldn't help think 'yes, yes we could.' I swore I saw the idea of us doing more than just talking about music and books flicker through his eyes for a brief moment, or maybe it was just my lust blinding me. _

"_No," I finally said weakly, barely above a whisper, "no we couldn't." _

_A stronger look in his eyes emerged, but he shook himself from the thought. "Well, I've got to get back. I promised I wouldn't be gone long because dinner was almost ready."_

_I laughed, "Okay. See you around."_

_He rounded a classic mustang, that I never saw sit outside of the Devonshire fence line, and nodded off at me. "See you Friday."_

"_Yeah, see you Friday." I replied and at that, he took as his cue that he needed to leave before he found himself doing anything more potentially embarrassing._

When I went back inside, my dad just looked over at me as if he was telling me that he had to do it, it was too much like he and my mom for him to not intervene. But I wasn't mad at him… not even close.

Man, I'm beat. Yawns I guess you all will have to listen back in soon to find out what happens next, especially about my upcoming date with Lucas. So yeah, check back whenever… probably an hour because I can't pull myself away from this exclusively inclusive tell-all. So bye for now!

**Author's Notes:**

I hope you all liked this one. Nothing was really politically based in it, so I hope none of you were bored by not receiving any of that. I really wanted Christmas day to be more about Peyton rather than her peers, save for her friends and Lucas. I wanted to talk more about her family and home life since I hadn't done that yet.

Also, I hope it wasn't too predictable. Like I'm not saying that you shouldn't have been able to know that the second ringing of the doorbell was Lucas—I guess I hope the first ringing of the doorbell was the initial surprise. But since ya'll are bright people, I'm sure I didn't surprise any of you. :)

Anyway… I hope I didn't rush the Lucas asking Peyton thing too much. I didn't want him to ask her when school started back up because then I feel like Peyton is too worried about outside forces then, like the Untouchables or Haley, so I thought that if I had Lucas ask during the break, maybe she wouldn't be so tainted or jaded. Y'know what I'm trying to say? If you don't, that's not on you, it's on me because sometimes I'm not that articulate. Lol.

Well, until next time! Please, please, please tell me what you thought of this chapter. I love, love, love knowing your thoughts! It really puts a smile on my face and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You all rock… like hardcore. Thanks again!


	6. Charming, isn't it?

**Chapter Six: Charming, Isn't It?**

Hey again tuner-inners. Okay, that was an awkward title I dubbed ya'll, but then again, I find most things awkward. I suppose I should just stop analyzing my awkward habits and get on with unleashing the secrets of the past that many of you only recently are finding out.

When I woke up the next morning after the pleasantly unexpected door bell ringing run-ins, I found more than thirty messages on my phone. Smiling, I noticed that all of them were from my three closest friends. A small inkling told me that they must've heard about Lucas coming over to my house and asking me out… I wonder who could've told them that? Ah, the man who I call my father must've been the informative.

Most of the messages ran along the lines of "OMG Peyton! You're _the_ guy asked you out—I bet you're feeling pretty gnarly right now. Okay, well call me!" or "Peyton, have you lost your mind?! You should've called me about the amazingly awesome news of Lucas asking you out! What am I saying? You're probably mute from experiencing something so fabulous as that. Call me when you get this, and if you don't, I'm going to… to… do something evil!"

As much as I wanted to call Brooke, Dani, and Madison back right away, like they told me to, I just wanted to go down stairs and eat a perfectly normal breakfast that wasn't anything except ordinary with my papa. After all, he was my Christmas present of sorts and it would be a shame to have me sitting upstairs in my room running over the same details again and again with squealing best friends when I was paying no attention to what really made my day the day before. So that's what I did: went downstairs to eat a warm Christmas-after breakfast with my dad.

When I got down there, it was as if I was nine again where everything was already set out on the table waiting for me to indulge into anything my stomach and heart desired. Pancakes, waffles, sausage, biscuits, toast, orange juice, butter, syrup, eggs, and--what really made my sleepy-self perk up once seeing—coffee. It was as if this was Heaven, except for my tummy!

Anyways, like the previous day in the living room where my dad and I took our old respective places, my dad sat in his chair at the end of the table with his back to the large window like he used to. He was reading the paper and drinking coffee (something I still had great difficulty in doing at my age I'm a clutz, I tell you) and looked as healthy as ever. I found a small, content smile sliding onto my lips and before I knew it, I became transfixed with how just his presence in our family's house could make me so happy.

His senses must've started to kick in and noticed that another being was in the room because that's when he looked up from his lax reading and saw me starring over at him.

"_What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked lightly brushing his face trying to wipe off the nonexistent crumb._

_Smiling softly, I shook my head. "No, I, well, I guess I'm just taking in," I waved around at my surroundings, "all of this. It's kind of surreal, y'know?"_

_Nodding his head and folding up his paper at the same time. "I know, right? When was the last time I cooked? Crazy, I tell you, but I just felt like kneading something other than my manly beard for once." He got up with his coffee cup in hand and walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself another hot cup. "Y'know what? You haven't said anything about my manly beard—you like it?" He turned around with the goofiest of smiles on his face._

_I started to laugh at that just like I used to when I was younger. He would always ask me if I liked his "manly beard" and if it reminded me of a notorious pirate that sailed the high seas like the wonderful sea rat he was. I always said yes just because he was my daddy and he always made me feel like his little angel because he was no where near looking like a pirate as badly as he wanted to._

"_Of course I love your manly beard, it's so indie! Reminds me of Jim James from My Morning Jacket." I replied taking my seat at the kitchen table. While helping myself to a bit of everything, I continued. "Just in case you never heard of My Morning Jacket, they're a pretty sweet band that I've seen in concert when they came through Raleigh. Nice guys, too—I met them after their set near their merch table."_

_Coming back around and plopping himself down carefully as to not spill his fuming hot cup of coffee, which he liked black, he said, "Well, if you say that I remind of you a mellow touring musician, then I'll take that as a very nice compliment." He looked over at me with his eyes dancing merrily with that funny smile still on his face. I could tell that he was loving this moment including all of the others we had just spent in the short time frame he'd been back home. But what I was especially glad to see was that there was not a trace of haunting on his face of my mom's memory; I didn't have to worry about him getting flaky yet. _

_Taking a bite of my pancake/egg mountain of wonder, we let time pass as it should when you're enjoying good company: in comfortable silence that's interrupted every now and then by charming chit-chat of random insinuations of preposterous ideas or to do's. Like traveling to Nova Scotia just because it has a cool name or hearing about funny and crazy happenings and saying that if you ever were to create a movie, that those moments would be included in there somehow even just slightly. Laughter and smiles were commonalities—things that weren't heard or seen enough over the long years. _

After breakfast, I told my dad that I had to call Brooke, Dani, and Madison so I could give them the details of Lucas' unexpected arrival yesterday.

"_It was a circus last night after you went up to bed! It seemed like every five seconds the phone was ringing because Brooke kept calling back after I subtly mentioned Lucas the first time she called." He quietly mouthed 'wow' and continued on. "She's a direct and stubborn one, I tell you! I'm surprised she didn't just run over here and demand answers. You should tell her to pursue journalism as a career."_

_Giggling lightly, I shook my head. "I would tell her that, but she's already fallen in love with fashion. But man, I must've been sleeping like a rock 'cause I didn't have my phone on silent and the house phone was plugged in upstairs in my room."_

_Knowing the sarcastic smile that slyly slid its way onto my dad's face, I knew I was going to hear an equally sarcastic comment. "Well, if World War Three would start outside your bedroom window, you wouldn't know until it was well past noon the next day!"_

"_I only learned from the best!" I jovially threw back at him as I made my way out of the kitchen and over to the stairs._

As soon as I had my cell in my hand, I called Brooke.

"_P. Sawyer, what have you been doing? You didn't call me, your best friend, as soon as the most amazing thing in your life happened! Have you gone completely void of emotion?!"_

"_Hello to you too, Brooke," I replied back with a bright smile on my face as I walked into my closet looking for something to wear. Band tees overran my closet in almost every color… and since I was in a good mood, I went for the liveliest color: yellow. I grabbed the first yellow tee my hand could reach while I was in the black concert tee section; it was my Clap Your Hands Say Yeah tee. _

_Laughing as if I had lost my mind, Brooke continued on with her million mile an hour speaking habits. "You have gone cuckoo, haven't you? You're not giggling like mad or freaking out like any normal girl in your shoes would be."_

_When Brooke said this, I knew she was spot on. I wasn't acting like I should be because I was nervous—so nervous that it was starting to shut off my excitement. Man, Lucas had me wound up._

_Walking with my shirt back out into my room and laying it on my bed, I turned around and headed for my dresser to grab some jeans. Finding my voice, I replied, "No Brooke, I haven't gone nuts. I'm just… I'm just…"_

"_What?" Brooke asked with an all-knowing tone stirring thickly in her voice. "You're nervous, aren't you?!" _

_Crinkling my nose because the idea sounded so junior high, I finally dished the dirt, "Yeah. I feel so stupid for feeling that way too. I mean, sure Lucas is definitely nervous-worthy and I would've never dreamed of it actually happening, at least not in high school. But for crying out loud, I already have butterflies in my stomach and it's three days away!" I answered back while shutting the drawer with my hip since my hands were full. _

"_Aw Peyton," Brooke squealed; she was loving that I was nervous because I never this way about the guys I dated. _

_I laughed sarcastically, "Aw yourself."_

_Giggling madly in return, and I swear I could hear clapping in the background, Brooke squawked, "P. Sawyer this is so cute!"_

_Throwing my jeans down lightly onto my bed, I sat down on my computer chair, which made a little squeaking noise in return. "Yeah, yeah. I gotta call Dani and Madison now, okay?" I said not really wanting to discuss how adorable this entire thing was, after all, that's not really my persona._

_I imagined that Brooke was pouting when she heard me say that. "Well, all right you fun sucker!"_

When I ended the conversation, I found myself smiling like a dumb idiot. I rarely smiled as hard as I was then, and to tell you the truth, it was quite painful. But nevertheless, I couldn't stop smiling. I suppose I could thank Lucas and my dad for that.

Giving myself a breather before three-way-ing Dani and Madison (I thought I might as well " kill two birds and one stone" this thing), I couldn't really remember the last time I felt so happy with everything in my life. But just when I thought that, I remembered all of the Hitchcock movies I watched over the years and something in the back of my mind told me to not get too comfortable with happiness.

**XXXXX**

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEEEEEEEEP. And what was my response? SLAM!

Waking up to the annoying and unnerving sound of an alarm isn't the best way to wake up for anybody, let alone a teenager on their winter break. But thank goodness that that alarm was set for noon and not a minute sooner.

_Feeling warm and alert now, I just snuggled my head into my pillow and willed myself to gradually get myself out of bed. After all, the only thing I had planned that day was a certain date with a certain mysteriously blue-eyed boy who was going to pick me up at seven o'clock to take me on that said date (such a roundabout way of saying that Lucas and I were going on a date at seven), so I was in no rush._

_Just thinking about what seven o'clock held in store for me sent another batch of butterflies to flutter unsettling around my stomach. And because of the surreal feeling alone, I threw my covers off of me and headed downstairs a little flustered._

Like the millionth time since Christmas, I berated the fact that I was so anxious about this date. It wasn't that I felt like I shouldn't be, but at the same time, I wasn't as inexperienced in the dating circuit as Lucas. And like a light going off in my head, I finally realized what Lucas must've been going through; and on top of that, he had to ask me out so that meant many more days of anxiety in preparation for that alone.

"_Poor ol' Luke," I whispered a tad-bit less nervous._

"_Say what, Goldilocks?" My dad asked as he walked out of the kitchen right as I was walking in._

_Laughing slightly at all the emotional hell I had put my body through over the past five days, I shook me head. "Oh nothing, dad, just nothing."_

_I guess my weird and unexpected answer made my dad stop in his tracks and turn around out of confusion. Then like the epiphany I just had, my dad must've understood why I was kind of 'out of it.' Pointing at me as he walked back into the kitchen, "Ah, you got that hot date with Lucas the Loner Scott tonight."_

"_That's right, I do," I replied while pouring some Golden Grahams into a bowl. "And you know what else?" Opening the fridge and taking the ice cold milk out of it, I continued on, "I'm not nervous about it anymore!"_

"_Oh really?" My dad asked as he leaned his elbows against the countertop. "That's good news for your fingernails 'cause I don't think they would've managed anymore nibbling from you."_

_Laughing at that, I poured the milk into my bowl. He was right though, my nails had taking a biting from me _(pun intended).

"_So, what made the nerves go away?" My dad finally asked as I made my way over the kitchen table with bowl and spoon in hand._

_Shrugging slightly as I set my breakfast down on the table. "I just thought about how nervous Lucas must be and something just switched the anxiety off." And at that, I snapped my fingers._

"_Just like that, huh?" My dad snapped his fingers in response, kind of teasing me._

_Taking a bite of cereal, I merely nodded my head._

"_Well, that's good. Hopefully Brooke and the gang won't make you nervous then. They're coming over to help you get you ready, right?"_

_Letting my spoon clank against the bowl, I just remembered about those three coming over. "Oh god! I totally forgot about them." Huffing a little and feeling the nerves come right on back, "I guess it's no hiding from 'em."_

"_Who—the nerves or the girls?" Smiling as he asked this, my dad took great amusement out of my anxious behavior for some reason unbeknownst me._

_Playing with my almost soggy Golden Grahams 'cause I lost my appetite, "A little of both," I laughed. _

Five and a half hours later, the entire gang was over at my house. Giggling, excitement, anticipation, and well wishes bounced off the red walls of my bedroom. For some reason, they were all acting giddier than usual. I suppose it was because this was the biggest thing to ever happen for Operation: K-Roe. Why? (Do I need to spell everything out for you guys?) I was going to go out with my _the_ guy, an Everybody, which was the first time for a K-Roe operative ever to do. But I wasn't doing this for the cause as much as I was doing it for myself, and all of the girls knew this and were way supportive of me.

"_So Peyton, are you going to jump him tonight?" Brooke cheekily asked as she mindlessly flipped through a magazine. _

_Scoffing a bit at how sex-crazed my best friend could be at times. "No, Brooke I'm not."_

_Kind of shocked, Brooke's jaw dropped when she heard this. "Don't play that Miss GTS image with me now!"_

"_I'm not playing my GTS card at all. It's just that I don't want to take anything too fast, and jumping him on the first date would be going way too fast for both of us." I responded as I put on my eye shadow._

"_But the second date isn't out of line!" Brooke quickly threw back light-heartedly._

_The entire room erupted in laughter and even I found myself laughing._

"_Aw, look she's blushing a bit," Dani teased as she twirled around in my computer chair. _

Dani was particularly excited about tonight. If I knew anything about Dani, she was waiting for this moment for me to happen since our first drive slash "penciled in" meeting my Freshman year. Her eyes were especially alive and exuberant with the idea of what the night held for me and for Operation: K-Roe. It was as if she was a teacher who laboriously tutored a specific student, who had amazing potential to do great things, and as soon as they accomplished those great things, pride was sure to ensue soon after.

Madison on the other hand was in wonder and awe. Sure she was proud as well, but that didn't shine through as nearly as her admiration. I was happy that I could be an example to her like Dani was to me with her brilliant faux-opossum. But I knew that there was something brewing in the smart mind of hers ever since she entered the room because she was quieter than usual.

_Fiddling with her nails, Madison meekly and curiously asked, "What's going to happen if all the other Untouchables find out about this? I mean, I don't think you won't, um, stay with Lucas, but what if it happens before any of us expect it to?"_

_The merriment in the room seemed to get sucked out with that one question alone. _

_For the first time, I found myself kind of scared of what could actually happen to me if the other Untouchables, especially Rachel and her cackling hyenas, found out about me seeing Lucas, if only once. _

_Shaking myself from my realization and remembering that I needed oxygen to live, I found my voice. "That's, ugh, that's a good question, Madison." I started out shakily. "I'll do what few have done before me: I'll accept my fall as an Untouchable."_

_Nodding slightly and seeing the disconcerting acknowledgement on her face, I knew Madison understood that this was no light matter. Sure Operation: K-Roe kids knew that they were risking every single security net and luxury that they had gotten used to since the first day of Freshman year, but the weight and seriousness never seemed real to us until we could actually meet our fall. _

_Brooke had a very calculating look on her face and her eyes were dimmer than usual. I suppose hearing me say that I would accept my fate if I met it was kind of horrifying for her—after all, she might have to deal with the loss of her best friend as a socially acceptable person, which would make life hard on her as well._

"_You know what?" Dani asked sitting up suddenly with a zeal about her that I rarely saw in her. "Let's not think about tomorrow 'cause what the hell can we do to ever stop the sun from rising? So let's just think about tonight and what a fucking awesome time Peyton is going to have with her _the_ guy of four years."_

_A few 'hell yeah-s' rang out when Dani finished passionate impromptu of a speech._

Before I knew it, I was all done getting ready and that's when my nerves finally started to peak because I had a half hour of waiting ahead of me and nothing but brooding to fill it.

"_I thought you guys came over to help keep me from freaking out?!" I snapped at them after a full minute of silence filled the room._

"_No," Madison replied with an evil smirk on her face _(man, my sarcasm rubbed off on her)_, "we came over to torture you with emotional coldness and psychologically bent silence so you'd be bonkers once Lucas came to pick you up. We'd thought it would make a great laugh down the line."_

And that's when I heard a deep boom from outside. It sounded like a car door had just been closed shut. My heart started to race like no time before then.

_Brooke got up from my bed and looked out the window quickly. "He's here!"_

"_Oh my god!" I nearly shouted as my breathing became jagged and my palms began to sweat. "Oh my god!"_

"_Don't make me slap you to calm you down," Dani teasingly said as she grabbed my elbow to help escort me out of my room and over to the stairs._

"_Do I look all right, I mean do I look pretty?!" I started to ask—more like squawk—in a crazed manner._

_All three of the girls lovingly reassured me that I was 'smoking,' 'do-able,' 'so hot, I could melt metal just by looking at it,' 'way hot,' and finally 'gorgeous.'_

"_Thanks girls!" I responded a little bit more relaxed._

"_Have fun!" Dani whispered as the door bell finally rang as she nudged me on down the stairs. The three of them stayed upstairs as to not make us two feel awkward with their smiling faces._

The walk downstairs was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I ever had to deal with because I was, for the first time that day almost, alone in my anxiety. But luckily, I made it downstairs without falling down them.

_Just as I got down there, my dad raced out and got the door._

"_Lucas my boy, come in, come in!" He exclaimed happily as he ushered Lucas in. _

_Lucas slowly entered our foyer wearing what he usually wore, which sent a great dose of relief over me because I was wearing what I usually wore as well. He looked handsome in his usual attire, which always consisted of a band tee (this time a red Broken Social Scene tee-- my favorite Canadian band), worn blue jeans, and extremely dirty shoes (in this case, old school gray Vans). _

_He had a bouquet of yellow daffodils in his right hand and his left hand dug deeply into one of his jean pockets. My dad took notice of the flowers and gave me a knowing smile that this boy was special, and not in the Special Ed kind of way._

_Lucas saw me near the stairs and smiled that breathtakingly endearing goofy smile he usually flashed for me. I, in turn, gave him a very brilliant smile I reserved only for him. For a moment there I couldn't bring myself to look away because he enchanted me unlike any other time before. _

_At that moment, my dad cleared his throat, bringing us both out of our reverie and back to reality of what we were supposed to do other than stare at each other. _

"_Oh," Lucas said lightly as the tips of his ears turned a light shade of pink. He handed me the daffodils and whispered, "These are for you."_

_Taking them gently and bringing them up to my nose to smell them, I couldn't help but be romanced, no matter how cheesy it sounds. "Wow, daffodils are my favorite! How did you know to get them?"_

"_Well," Lucas started as he nodded off in my dad's direction with a happy smile on his face. "Some crazy man cornered me this afternoon in the flower shop and told me the word on the street. Usually the word on the street is the right one so I had to get 'em." He shrugged at the last sentence and looked back over at me with his blue eyes dancing._

_Feeling very special for receiving flowers, I could feel my cheeks become flushed. "Dad, can you take care of these for me?" I asked as I placed them on the foyer's only table._

_My dad then started to laugh as he started to wave us both out of the door. "You bet'cha, honey. Now, I would threaten you with a shot-gun Lucas, but I told you the first time I met you that intimidation wasn't my style. So I'll just say, have a nice night you two! That's how they say in the movies, right?"_

"_Yeah, that's how they say it," I responded softly as I walked out on to the porch with Lucas in tow. _

"_All right, so you two be safe and I'll see you in the morning, Peyton." My dad said as he kissed me on my cheek and then shook Lucas' hand. And at that, my dad went back inside and shut the door._

_After a second or two of understanding that we were finally alone, Lucas took his keys out of his pocket and asked, "You ready?"_

"_Most definitely!" I replied much to my dissatisfaction. 'Most definitely?' What was I thinking? How awkward was that._

_But nonetheless, we both trekked over to that classic mustang, where he opened my door for me. _

"_Thanks," I said as I plopped myself in. _

"_No problem," he responded as he shut the door for me. _

_Once he was in the car himself, he quickly put the key in the ignition and started the car up. Suddenly Elliott Smith roughly whispered through the car._

"_Whoa! I didn't know you were into Elliott Smith!" I slightly shouted over 'Angeles' as Lucas drove down my street._

_He turned down the music and looked over at me with a knee-weakening smile (thank goodness I was already sitting down). "Yeah, I love his stuff—may he rest in peace. I didn't know you listened to him either."_

"_Yeah, I guess I don't fit the type to really be into acoustic-driven acts, but he, Ryan Adams, Bright Eyes, Iron and Wine, Jose Gonzalez, and so on and so forth are just amazing. I've seen almost all of them in concert, save for Smith, well 'cause he's dead, and Gonzalez 'cause he didn't come through North Carolina on his last US tour." I suddenly became embarrassed about how long I was talking. "Sorry," I apologized feeling my cheeks turn red from embarrassment, "I didn't mean to hog the conversation."_

_Lucas shook his head and laughed at my apology. "No, don't apologize. You're probably the only other person-- other than that jackass Chris Keller-- who knows their music." _

_I found myself smiling again; I was glad that he liked my music knowledge. _

I suppose it was because I didn't really know too many who loved music like I did, that I usually found myself apologizing for it just because it either A.) made them bored, or B.) freaked them out.

"_So," Lucas started as he took another glance over at me. "We can either go to some uptight restaurant and laugh at the evil waiters or we can go make a food run at a gas station and take it back to my hide-out. The choice is yours!"_

_At that moment, he handed me his CD case so I could make the next music selection that we would listen to. With each passing second, I think I became aware of how awesome he was, let alone how much I was definitely crushing on him. Flipping through his case, which consisted of basically every band I listened to (like Wolf Parade, Stars, Broken Social Scene, MewithoutYou, Eisley, Radiohead, My Morning Jacket, Ester Drang, Blonde Redhead, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Cold War Kids, etc.), I found myself loving the spontaneity and adventure the latter choice promised._

"_Um," I said as I continued to thumb through his meticulous and specific collection, "I'm going to have to say the food run and hide-out."_

"_Sweet action!" Lucas replied jovially as he turned into the first gas station on Main Street. "I was hoping you would say that one. I hate those tense restaurants my grandparents love going to—they're so formal, it's suffocating."_

_Finally finding the CD I was in the mood for hearing, I lovingly and protectively slid _Funerals_ by Arcade Fire out of its respective sleeve. "Here you go; I hope you're up for them. I know I can only listens to certain bands during certain moods. This is usually my happy or indifferent music—actually, Canadian indie bands are usually my good or blank mood music as I think about it. But this is because I'm in a good mood."_

"_Well, then Arcade Fire it is." Lucas said taking the CD with his right hand as he ejected _Either/Or_ out of his stereo. After swiftly sliding Arcade Fire in, Lucas turned off his car. "You ready, Freddy? Oh wow! I can't believe I just said that!"_

_Laughing at that, I opened my car door and got out; Lucas mirrored my actions. "Don't worry about it! I'm the most corny and awkward person you'll ever meet."_

_Opening the gas station's door for me, he replied, "Now that I think about it, you are, which leads me to ask, how on earth are _you_ an Untouchable?" He started to howl with laughter once he said that. I could tell that he was starting to get more comfortable around me, and I was starting to get more comfortable around him as well. _

_We bantered like this back and forth for the entirety of our food raid and up at the check-out desk. _

"_Is that all?" The clerk asked sarcastically as he slowly scanned the junk food and caffeinated drinks. After two minutes of mind-blowing clerk boringness, we finally got the total. "$35 is the total," the clerk monotonously said._

"_Wow, let me split that." I said reaching into my purse—it was in my nature to split the price for anything._

_Shaking his head and smiling. "I don't this so Miss Sawyer, I'm buying. After all, aren't the guys supposed to pay? I mean, isn't that like the ultimate test of all first date tests?" He asked this as he picked two twenty dollar bills out of his wallet._

"_I'm not sure. I guess it depends on the girl." I responded as the clerk gave Lucas his change. "Like with Brooke, she expects the guy to pay for everything when she's in his presence. Me though, I guess it depends on the guy's willingness to pay or not. I know many guys seem put-off by the idea of paying for everything so I just offer to split it each time so I'm on the safe side."_

_By the time I finished telling him this, we were already back in his car and he was in the process of turning his car back on. "You see," Lucas began as he turned around to look out the rear window to back out, "I think if the guy expects a girl he's either dating or in a relationship with to pay for her own meal or even split the cost, he's really just—excuse my French—a prick."_

_Smiling at hearing Lucas, a guy many Untouchable girls assume would be a terrible and ill-mannered date, talk about expectations and etiquette just proved the misconceptions that stereotypes gave off. He was anything but a terrible and ill-mannered date… he was possibly the best date I'd ever had and the most genuine one as well 'cause he wasn't asking me out to get laid or brag to his buddies that he got to go out on the town with Peyton Sawyer herself. If anything, it would be me doing the bragging, at least within my circle of friends._

_As we passed by neighborhood after neighborhood to get to Lucas' ever secret hide-out, we also listened to each of the Neighborhood tracks on _Funerals_. We talked most of the time, but at the same time we knew to be silent during parts of each song because each of them left a certain taste for contemplation. But then at other moments, we both shouted out the lyrics 'cause neither of us could sing a lick._

_Finally after twenty minutes of driving, Lucas finally turned off onto a rural road._

"_It won't be much further." He told me as he slowed his driving down because he didn't want to spin out on black ice the road could possibly have._

_Not much sooner than after he said that, he parked the car and pointed over to the ratty shack on my side. "There's the good ol' hide out, I hope its appearance doesn't make you change your mind for picking this as a choice. Believe me, it's much more presentable and kick ass on the inside."_

_Getting out of the car with a bag of some of the food we raided at the gas station in hand, I cautiously made my way over the shack because I didn't want to slip on the slick snow. Lucas got to the door before me where he unlocked the door, swung it open, and switched the lights on._

"_After you," he said as best as he could with a bag of Doritos in his mouth._

_Laughing at his sudden speech disorientation, I walked into the shack and met a rustic looking, but nonetheless very cozy one-room hang out. It had a TV, a couch and recliner, a fridge, a sink, a door that must've led to the adjacent bathroom, a stereo, an XBOX, a table, cupboards that most likely contained many plates, bowls, and cups. "You weren't lying, this is pretty kick ass."_

"_Yeah it is, isn't it?" He responded while closing the door behind him. "Good thing I remembered to turn the heater on before I swung by your place or else we would be freezing in here."_

"_That's definitely a good thing!" I laughed as I lazily slumped into the humungous and comfy couch. "So this is why so many people think you're homeless!" I started to laugh at the entirely ignorant dumb-asses that followed him here that one day._

_Placing the bags of food down on the coffee table in front of me, he nodded his head and laughed at the idiocy of those Untouchables. "Yep, this place is the reason for all of that."_

"_How ironic," I said a little bit dazed. "I bet they would feel like complete assholes if they ever got a look at the inside of this place."_

_All Lucas did was nod his head as he sifted through all of the chips, candy, sodas, twinkies, donuts, etc. _

Now looking back on it, I wish I never brought up those jackasses. I kind of brought up a sore subject for Lucas that he was obviously not very comfortable to talk about with me, one of those very people who hang out with those said jackasses.

A couple of hours passed as we just hung out at Lucas' slice of heaven. We talked about anything and everything, about music and literature, about villains and heroes, about hopes and dreams, and finally about fears and insecurities.

"_Wouldn't you being here right now screw up everything for you if, say, Elmo walked in the room and cackled?" Lucas asked just before he chomped on a helpless Cheeto._

_Nodding as I continued to chew on my handful of Skittles, "Oh yeah, but I really don't care. I'm kind of sick of the entire Untouchable shit—I'm over it all."_

"_Blasphemy!" Lucas jokingly shouted as he sat up straight pointing at me._

_From the sugar high I was on from all of the Mountain Dew, candy, and junk food I consumed, I started giggle madly. _

_But then the mood got serious when Lucas sat back down and quietly brooded over what I just had said more carefully. _

"_Then why not just, I don't know, tell 'em to stick it where the sun doesn't shine?" Lucas asked with his blue eyes radiating with such intensity I had never seen in their depths before. This subject must've really interested him, after all, it was the Untouchables who had made his life a living hell ever since Freshman year for no fucking good reason._

_Thinking about what he had just asked very meticulously, I shrugged. "I can't really tell you. I guess I'm afraid of abandoning familiarity."_

And Lucas left it at that because he, like I did earlier when it came to his homeless persona, judged the better of it.

_A few more hours passed until Lucas looked at his cell phone to find that it was already one o'clock. _

"_Shit! I'm passed curfew!" Lucas yelped out loud as he dialed what must've been his mom's number. "I need to give my mom the heads up—this way she won't be pissed off whereas if I just showed up, she would."_

"_You're curfew is only one?" I teased him as got my cell out of my purse to check my messages._

_Lucas laughed a little, "Yeah, my mom thinks one o'clock is way too late for an eighteen year old who never parties, let alone never drinks beer." He signaled to me for one minute since he must've reached his mom at that moment. _

_I felt kind of sad to know that the date was ending. This had been probably the single most enjoyable date I had ever been on because Lucas was cool with pigging out, listening to music, and just talking. The guys I dated just wanted to eat because it was a formality and then get down to what was really on their minds: making out and then some maybe. Lucas didn't expect anything in return and he made me feel wonderful and interesting. Lucas Scott was definitely worth falling for and having my Untouchable fall for._

"_Hey mom, I was just calling to tell you I'm probably going to be thirty minutes late because I lost track of time and I still have to take Peyton home." He looked over at me with this smile on his face, which told me that his mom was being understanding and good-natured about the situation. "Yep, okay I'll tell her—she says hi, Peyton—"_

_That's when I said, "Hi."_

"_Peyton says hi too, mom. All right, one-thirty, got'cha. I love you too. I'll drive safe. Okay, see you soon." With that, Lucas slapped his cell shut and pocketed the phone. "Close call," he joked. _

_Getting up, he stretched. "Are you already to go? I'm sorry about rushing you off like this, but this is kind of the first time I'm hanging out with someone other than Haley or Mouth, so my mom's kind of freaking out."_

"_No problem, I understand," I assured him as I grabbed my purse and looked around. "Should we clean up first?"_

_Looking around at the montage of food strewn across the living area, he shook his head. "Nah, I'll clean it up later."_

"_Okay then, then I'm good to go." I replied as he walked over to the door and opened it for me._

_The coldness met us as we left the warm interior of his hang-out._

_Before I knew it, it was twenty minutes later and we were parked in front of my house when I found myself not wanting to get out of his car. _

"_Tonight was… so amazing and awesome, I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed going out with you." The words fled my mouth before I could stop them. I wasn't sure if they were too heartfelt or cheesy, but I was going to stand by them because it was the truth._

"_Me too!" Lucas replied practically as soon as I was finished saying my little thing. _

_We both laughed at each other's eagerness._

"_We'll have to do it again… soon?" Lucas more so asked than said._

_Nodding emphatically, "Definitely, I would love that!"_

And that's when we had it: a moment. I guess it was the way we both were feeling and the way we saw how the other was feeling that made us just connect eyes and let our mesmerized state do exactly what the perfect way to end a date would be: a kiss. Except, this was no 'I had a good time' kiss, that's not even in the same league as this kiss.

_Something ignited then between us and we understood that both of us were doing this for sincere reasons with no ulterior motives. That's when he cupped my face and pushed my fallen curls out of my eyes. I blushed slightly by his sudden confidence in the situation and was glad that I didn't have to make the first move._

_Finally our lips met and within the first nano-second of it, I knew it was the perfect kiss, and not the way old black and white movies make a perfect kiss out to be—all in your grill and the whole nine yards. This one was more subtle and soft in nature, but nonetheless heart rendering and breathtaking. I wished I was an anaerobic being so I could stay in the kiss forever without ever breaking it to get more oxygen. But alas, I was not and neither was Lucas so the lovely moment had to end like all great things do sometime or another._

_Neither of us said something for a few seconds because we were kind of shocked at how amazing the kiss was. But then Lucas softly whispered a 'wow' and both of us found ourselves laughing._

_Finally I forced myself to get out of his car before I found myself jumping him and throwing every rational thought into the wind. He left me dazed and alert, a paradox that never bestowed itself on me. But then again, Lucas Scott was an enigma that I so badly wanted to understand more than ever now._

So that's how the date went. To tell you the truth, it's kind of awkward to tell people you're either merely acquaintances with or not even that, so yeah. Give me some props for that. I don't know what else to say about it without making it sound even more cheesy and cliché as it already it. So yeah. Check back in a few to see if there's another one of these podcasts up. Holla.

**Author's Notes:**

I know, I know, I know! I've been terrible and utterly despicable with making you all wait a few months for an update. If I was in your position I wouldn't be too pleased with me, but then again, I'm not too pleased with myself for making you wait so long for a freaking update.

Thank you though for waiting for it! I can't tell you how many times I started this chapter and in the middle of it (around seven pages worth of writing) finding garbage, so I had to scrap it over and over again. But today, I woke up and found a fresh idea and just ran with it.

I hope this chapter pleased you and sufficed for my negligence. If it didn't, then I owe you one hell of a chapter down the line.

Thanks again for your loyalty and care for this story. I found it as a great source for my help with this chapter.

Until next time!

_-Caley_


	7. They Should Change the Honeymoon Stage

**Author's Notes: **This is the rough-draft so it's **UNEDITED**. I bet there's many grammatical errors in it, such as awkward phrasing, incorrect usage of words like to, too, were, are, their, there, will… that's just something that happens when you're righting "on a roll" as I call it. You don't stop to re-read what you've done, you just keep writing. But I know for a fact, you're not going to wince after finding an error in every other paragraph… just because I have every confidence in my ability to speak in English. Lol. As I'm sure you are in your language.

I just wanted to post it already! Lol.

**Chapter Seven: They Should Change the Honeymoon Stage to the "Honey, Moan" Stage**

Hey tuner-inners. It's me, Peyton, again. This little endeavor of mine has turned me into a good old fashioned insomniac. Don't worry, I'm not going to turn into a terrorists like Ed Norton's character does in Fight Club. Though, I must admit he was one hot insomniac turned terrorists, but that's probably some information you're not really interested in hearing.

So where did I leave off? Oh right, coming home from my first date with Lucas Scott.

Well anyways, the winter break ended with not so much as a crackle of drama, which meant all hell was about to break loose as soon as school started back up again. You could just feel the tension in the air the first day back at Tree Hill High. The Everybody's were like jittery antelopes in the wild—they all knew that the vicious Untouchables were way too bored and power hungry to just let them be at peace for too long.

So our "lowly" peers walked around with their heads bent and eyes glued to the feet of those passing by or in front of them just so they could escape the watchful eyes of all the Untouchables, even me. After all, they didn't want to give them any reason as to why they should be singled out of a milling crowd and endured public embarrassment.

But during all of that, there were a few radical Everybody's who didn't try to be unseen—one of them being Lucas. For some reason, no one tried to bully him around. Probably because they knew that he was too quick, too clever (just like his friend Haley) to let them go unscathed of humiliation. And I must admit, that it made me kind of flustered knowing that my _the_ guy was feared by the "all powerful" Untouchables. Hell, he was even as brazen enough to send a seductive wink my way. Of course, many people ignorant to the relationship that was growing between Lucas and I saw that as blatant disrespect towards me instead of blatant eye sex. But whatever, some people just need to believe what they want to believe because if it wasn't a certain way— the world would end.

It went on like that until one of the Rachel's hyenas decided to oblige the rest of us who were compassionless some power and picked her ex-best friend from grade school the subject of her torment. And after it happened, all of the Everybody's knew that they were safe to look up now and prove that they actually had faces and not just tops of heads. Everything went back to normal, to say the least.

XXXXXXXXX

For about a week or so, Lucas and I laid low. We'd avoid being in the same spots together just because I knew some people probably took up an interest of that certain suggestive wink he tossed me the first day back, which I totally felt the urge to jump him about. But of course, I kept my distance from my desire to do that… at least for awhile.

Brooke though kept bringing up the subject as did Madison… and Dani every time I talked to them, whether it was on the phone, on AIM, on Myspace, or in my car, or at my house. From questions like, "So when are you guys going to finally make out—I mean it's not normal to actually avoid each other when you're _wanting_ to do the exact opposite?" to "Where's the secret hide-out that you two are going to do some _extra_-curricular studies at?"

The more they talked about it, the more my mind found itself parading around in the gutter. I started to day-dream about doing the kinkiest (or the naughtiest) of things in the middle of an abandoned classroom or in a cramped utility closet. All I could say though was, "I don't want to risk getting caught just yet, y'know? If I really want this to sting, it's going to have to be a while before they find out."

But when the second week of school came around, so did my "hell with it" attitude.

The first thing I remember was heading straight for the library.

_It was just like I remembered it: ominously quiet, slightly damp, and practically vacant. I smiled at the thought of this musky place being the place I was finally going to let all of my hormones, emotions, and UrST (__U__n__r__esolved __S__exual __T__ension) out on a particular blue-eyed, blonde boy. _

_As if on autopilot, I walked back to the corner I knew he would be in. I bet if I had a mirror in front of me as I walked back there, I would find an awe-inspiring gleam hungrily bright in both of my eyes. I've dreamt about this moment in every single class in all of my years here at Tree Hill High and it was finally going to happen. Can anyone say, "Screw surreal—it's the freaking Holy Grail of 'Hell Yes' moments of your life?" _

_Finally, when I got back there, I found my target, like a lioness stalking it's prey, I stood there with a carnal smile on my face._

_Lucas was obviously just about to leave since he had his messenger bag hung over his shoulder carelessly as he picked up random pens and worksheets off of the library table and stuffing them into his bag. He was wearing a light blue Blonde Redhead t-shirt (circa their headlining tour for their recent album _"23"), _dark blue jeans, and black old school Vans. He was dressed exactly the way he was in all of my fantasies, which fueled the unquenchable fire in my heart to the max._

_He looked up at me kind of bewildered by my out-of-nowhere appearance. He barely had enough time to smile that knee weakening goofy smile of his before my lips were on his in a wolfish manner. My skin was on fire just like heart was, especially my fingers that were framing his strong jaw line. It took him a second or two to react in the same passionate fury as me, but when he did, my goodness, was I ever hot and bothered._

_In an aggressive way, I started shuffle him back into our little corner so we wouldn't be seen by any random book searcher, and up against the adjacent oaken shelves._

"_What's gotten into you?" Lucas asked in a breathless way during the split second he came up for air before he went back down for an even more forceful yet endearing kiss _(kind of an oxymoron, but he must've gotten an small sense of how passionate I felt when it came to him)

_Breaking the extended kiss, I smiled lazily and looked up into those icy blue pools. They held elation and practically the same amount of fire mine must've. "Let's just say that nothing's gotten into me… I've been wanting to do this for _years_ now." _

_He searched my eyes; Lucas must've thought it was hard that an Untouchable like me could even say that without the slightest hint of sarcasm. But I did… and he saw that._

_I guess that must've urged him into bending down and capturing my lips with his in a more gentle way than my last effort. I felt my cheeks burn as the butterflies in my stomach erupted out of no where—this was a picture perfect movie script ending type of kiss. I couldn't believe that something so heartfelt was inclined to me in such a way like this kiss encompassed! There was no rush, but that didn't mean there was a lack of avidity or earnestness though (quite the opposite, actually). _

_But like all good things coming to an end, this one had to as well… but at least those good things didn't end so awkwardly. Right when I was about to kick it back up a notch on the hotness factor, a certain brunette turned the corner: Haley James. Oh shit!_

_Her mouth hung open slightly, partly out of disbelief of seeing both of our lips red and bruised from kissing as ardently as we had been, and then partly out of anger from seeing both of our lips red and bruised from kissing as ardently as we had been._

_Lucas and I couldn't take our eyes away from his shocked and about-to-blow best friend. We both expected her to start shouting right then and there, but contrary to what we both thought would happen, all she did was smirk, throw her head back, and turn on her heel and make her retreat._

_I looked up at Lucas to find that the color in his face had drained, most likely from the fear of losing one of his best friends. He looked down out me and then back to the spot Haley had just stood._

"_I got to go get Haley before sh-she… does something she regrets. Okay? I'll make her understand, I'll make her." He gently brushed one of my golden curls behind my ear and cupped my face. _

_I nodded in understanding and he bent down and gave me a quick peck. "I'll call you tonight, okay? I mean, if that's okay."_

_I blushed slightly like a little twelve year old. "Yeah, that would be great."_

_He readjusted the strap on his messenger bag and smiled that "all worthy of swooning" smile and said, "Okay." And at that, he left in a hurry to follow Haley, who we both hoped didn't get too far away._

I don't know how he did it, but Lucas got Haley to rethink me a little bit. Haley seemed to reluctantly be okay with our relationship afterwards, but nonetheless she accepted it. I mean, what was she going to do—disown Lucas? Come on, everyone knows that those two have been friends since grade school, so they definitely wouldn't end their friendship over some disagreement on the subject of me.

We met like we did in the library more and more during the week. Sometimes we would meet in the library, other times would be in one of the tutoring rooms (the one we both knew you had to have a key to get in to—and I happened to have a set of keys—so we knew we weren't going to be interrupted), and then, finally, we would be in a utility closet… I know how cliché! But really, neither of us were trying to make creativity a requirement when it came to losing all of the UrST between us.

XXXXXXXXX

While all of that PG-13 material was happening between Lucas and I, something more "out in the open" was taking place for the entire school to become spectators of… the heart and soul, blood and sweat, glory and fame, addiction and best friend Tree Hill has always held above all other things a town could possibly see as important: high school basketball playoffs. And it was no shocker that Nathan Scott's face plastered every single newspaper, store window, and school announcement flyer printed while THH was in the playoffs.

And along with playoffs came the semi-formal Midnight Dance two days before the first round in the playoffs. This dance only happened when the Ravens reached the playoffs, so granted, it didn't happen very often until my class was the Freshman class. Also, seeing as Nathan had always been the prime meat on the market around this time of year every year, it was a no brainer who almost every girl who held the status of single wanted to go with. So that meant clashes, squabbles, show-downs, and scandals galore for the school to talk about!

Girls switched from regular crush mode to full-on stalker mode within a day or two. Every Freshman girl on through my Senior class was in awe of Nathan now (besides me and a few other girls who already had their _the_ guys) and would do anything for him to pay them one glance's worth of attention. The more intelligent girls would offer to do his homework—some of them would even promise him "help" on his mid-term. Other girls would promise Nathan many things depending on the forte too, but no one was especially driven as Elmo herself, Rachel.

Brooke, Madison, and I found it incredibly funny to watch Rachel rush over to Nathan and do anything but chain herself to his arm while Nathan—wide-eyed and disgusted—did his best to act nice and cordial. I have to hand it to Nathan though. Any other guy who didn't want some girl's attention would've been an ass to her right off the bat, but Nathan bit his tongue and decided to that patience, not honesty, was the best policy in this case. It was just another reason why I respected the guy and saw how so many girls could fall for him, despite never exchanging more than a word with him.

But the more Rachel repeated her boa constrictor like neediness, Brooke seemed to lose sight of the comedy playing out right in front of us and saw territory danger signs flash before her eyes. Granted, I didn't have the all-knowing WLW (Who Likes Who) radar many of the girl Untouchables held, but I would have to be Helen Keller to not see what Brooke was feeling. For those of you who aren't inclined with why girls suddenly hate (well, Brooke already hated Rachel—I mean, who didn't?) another girl when she got cozy with a certain boy is because… she likes that certain boy! I mean, that's practically textbook jealousy right there for you.

There were many reasons why Brooke could fall for a guy like Nathan. One major reason being he defended her honor and opened a can of whoop ass on the prick who stole her innocence. Plus, he wasn't like all of the other guys Brooke normally dated—he was much more kind, caring, and genuine, which definitely means Dani should get a huge award for because everyone knows Nathan didn't inherit his loving heart from his Dad.

Even though I so very badly wanted to as Brooke about her newfound flare of hatred towards Rachel, I didn't. Why? I sure as hell hate it when someone asks me who I like and makes a scene about it. It's probably the most annoying and nerve rattling thing out there. So I decided to just wait for her to bring it up—after all, Brooke is the biggest girly girl I know and when it comes to boys, she's not tight lipped. So I gave her 'til a week before the Midnight Dance before she spilled the beans.

XXXXXXXXX

It seemed like someone grabbed a TiVo remote and fast-forwarded through the first couple of weeks of school like commercials until it was only eight days until the Midnight Dance and ten before the first game of the playoffs for THH.

Gossip ran rampant on the school grounds almost like never before for the MD. Girls were doing dire things to get a boy they liked to ask them to the dance. For example, this Untouchable wannabe actually took pictures of herself naked and gave them to her crush, which just so happened to be the retarded Tim (a.k.a. _the_ Tim when he spoke about himself in third person), who then photocopied the smut and handed them out to almost the entirety of the school. The faculty tried gobbled up the pictures as quickly as they could, but a few quietly circulated throughout the school despite their desperate attempt to protect the girl's privacy (or lack thereof). Of course it was no secret as to whom passed out such pornographic material, but with so many of the Untouchables as alumni with deep pockets and threatening gag-order providing lawyers, Tim didn't even get called down to the principal's office for a chat.

Girls who didn't have to worry about dates being thrown at them were the Untouchables. Almost every five seconds we were getting date offers thrown at us from anonymous boys we never even saw in our lives. I kind of felt like Jennifer Love Hewitt's character Amanda in _Can't Hardly Wait_ when all of these drunken and horny guys kept throwing themselves at her after she just made a fool of the guy who dumped her. I mean, sure there were some nice, sweet guys who asked me, who were mainly from my U.F. crew, but I had an expectation to meet in front of the entire student body. Right?

That's when it hit me like a kid walking blindly into a door swinging open: what about Lucas? I had an obligation to go with him, after all, he was my boyfriend--secret or not--and he must've been thinking it was a "duh" type of deal. Oh how could I be so dumb for the past few weeks?! I know, it's kind of unbelievable to not have already thought about it since everyone in the school was going bonkers about this overrated dance in the first place. But alas, I'm not the one to normally think about dates or who I was going with… not to sound egotistical or self-absorbed, but I usually chose from the twenty some odd guys who had the balls to come up and ask me face-to-face (I totally disregarded whoever left me notes in my locker) if I would go to the (fill in which ever event happening there) with him. And staying true to my undercover operation, I usually picked the hottest, most talented, most looked up to, and most charming Untouchable who did. Now… the situation wasn't so rosy, but thorny.

Hoping beyond hope Lucas wasn't into that sort of school related bull shit, I crossed my fingers he wouldn't ask me. I mean, I don't really think he would want to "get krunk" with people he despised, like the Untouchables in our territory, y'know? Going with that theory, I tried to recall back to a time when I saw him at a school dance. I found the numbing anxiety that was taking over my body like a paralysis slowly come to a halt because I couldn't remember when he did go a school dance. Man, what a relief! I was going to avoid the ever awkward and heart-wrenching conversation of "if I was going to the dance with him."

I'm sure some of you are probably thinking: why not just skip the dance altogether so you won't hurt his feelings and still be able to hang out with him? All I have to say is:

**Dear Considerate Soul,**

**Do you know who I am?! It's a must as a person in my position! And as any person with a high school maturity level would put it: DER!!!**

**Yours truly,**

**P. Sawyer, Co-Captain of Cheerleading Squad at Tree Hill High, XOXO**

Getting on with it now… I still had yet to hear from Brooke if she actually liked Nathan. It kind of amazed me that she was able to hold in all of the gushy fluff as long as she had been because, well, she's Brooke! And since the time clock on it being a week 'til the MD was just about to come, I was starting to think Brooke had taken a vow of silence as well as a vow of celibacy. But right when I was about to lose hope, I remembered one thing: Brooke was coming over to my house to hang out with Madison and I.

DING! DING! DING! Eureka!

And man, did I ever know my best friend because Brooke barely made it through saying hello to my dad before she started jumping up and down and clapping her hands in an excited way, which I called the "B. Davis: Who's Got Game" dance.

"_Guess what?! Guess what?!" Brooke squealed as she stomped in her heels up and down, up and down again on the hardwood floor of the foyer._

_Closing the door, my dad just shook his head and looked up at the ceiling as if thanking God that he was blessed with a squeal-less child like me. _

_Laughing along with Madison, who was pretending she hanging from an invisible noose around her neck, I finally obliged my giddy friend. "What? I'm clueless as to why you, Brooke Davis, are jumping around like a freaking rabid rabbit."_

"_Har, har my snarky best friend!" Brooke replied with just about the same amount of sarcasm I released on her. "Guess who's Nathan Scott's MD date?!"_

"_No way!" I shouted as I felt happiness rush through my body for my best friend. I gave her a congratulatory hug with one of my biggest smiles—I was definitely relieved that Brooke was going with someone I trusted as well as saw as a brother._

_Squealing a bit more and squeezing me so hard I thought my spine was about to split in half. "I know, right?! This is probably one of the happiest days of my life 'cause I've liked Nathan for, gosh, for a while now, and it's finally happening!" _

"_Scott, Nathan Scott?" My dad asked curiously while wincing from the shrill shrieks Brooke was still piping out sporadically. Every time a familiar name popped up that could possibly be linked back to his hay day at THH, my dad liked to jump in on the conversation… maybe this time more out of vain pursuit of just getting Brooke to stop acting like a banshee more than actual intrigue._

_Finally letting me go, Brooke did a 360 to look at my Papa Bear. "Ugh-huh! You've probably read about him in the newspaper 'cause he's like this really amazing basketball player…" (This is when Brooke took a moment to pause and most likely think about Nathan glistening with sweat and shirtless in the gym) "…and," clearing her throat, "his dad is Dan Scott, y'know the Mayor."_

_My dad smiled a bit probably because Brooke was settling down and not so… high-pitched. "Oh yeah, I went to school with his dad. Man, was he a b-baller!" _

_Both Madison and Brooke chuckled (that's right, chuckled) at my dad's use of "hip" lingo. I, of course, felt my cheeks heat up slightly._

_Obviously feeling like he was a cute hit with Brooke and Madison for the day, my dad decided that he would leave us alone._

_We found ourselves up in my room not a minute later. We all gossiped about this and that, primarily about the dance, which inevitably brought up the million dollar question…_

"_What are you going to do about Lucas?" Madison asked as she slowly, meticulously looked through my vinyl trying to find exactly what she wanted to spin next (I'm such a proud older sister). _

_Huffing loudly and letting my head crash into my pillows, I groaned, "I don't know."_

"_Talk about a kink in the chain," Brooke clichéd out there for us as she reapplied her mascara in my bathroom._

"_I know, I know, I know," I said in an exasperated manner._

_Madison snapped her fingers and slid over to the T section of my vinyl shelved wall. "That's it—Tegan and Sara!"_

_Sarcastically, I replied, "Glad to know we've fixed your dilemma." Both of them laughed at my comment. _

_As Tegan and Sara's _So Jealous_ bounced off my red painted walls, we all came to the same conclusion silently: I was going to pray that Lucas understood the archaically aristocratic boundaries teens today at Tree Hill were still living by. Sure, Operation: K-Roe needed me to go out with Lucas to really have the plan to go according to plan, but I was also going to have to juggle a very compromising loyalty line game until the whole "Screw you" moment happened. The big question was if Lucas would be okay with it and didn't take it the wrong way… the wrong way being me using him._

_My throat started to hurt and my heart sunk a bit. "I hate high school," I mumbled as I turned over to my side and looked at the sketch I recently drew—a boy and a girl in a library kissing with the girl (obviously me) thinking, "Good things come to those who wait."_

_Brooke plopped herself down beside me and rubbed my back as the bright and shining conclusion turned into a much darker one… and I couldn't help thinking that disillusionment is a pain in the ass._

The next day at school, the news must've seeped out that Brooke and Nathan were going to be the who's who couple of this year's Midnight Dance. Last year it was Nathan and Bevin, the year before that it was Nathan and Theresa, and the year before that it was Nathan and Dani. People were saying that this year's was definitely most like our Freshmen year's couple because, like Dani was, Brooke was one of favorites for the Everybody's. A handful of us Untouchables were generally cheered for by out fellow classmates, so seeing two Untouchables they supremely loved and respected, people treated them like royalty… except for a certain redhead and her following.

After hearing about Nathan asking Brooke to the Midnight Dance through the grapevine, Rachel was furious. Seriously, I can't remember a time when she was more angry than in that moment—I would know because I witnessed it from a table down in the courtyard. Her eyes darkened, her brows became menacingly furrowed, the corners of her mouth dipped down slightly, and the knuckles of her right hand in which she was holding a pencil (she must've been working on some homework) whitened. Almost immediately her rage-filled eyes looked over at my table, directly at Brooke, who was smiling her ass off.

Slamming her pencil down onto the cement table, Rachel got up swiftly. Anyone with a "something's going down" sixth sense about them looked over at the Wild, Wild West-esque shoot-out, except there were no guns just glares full of daggers and dares full of tongue-in-cheek insinuations.

_Rachel's crew finally stood behind her with sneers on their faces. Brooke, Madison, and I merely smirked back—we won this round already so this petty scene was only going to end in our favor… it's called "who got the date." _

"_So Brooke," Rachel hashed out finally with her eyes coldly fixed on Brooke's, "what did you do to get Nathan to take you… or should I say, didn't do 'cause that's probably a shorter list?"_

_People who overheard what Elmo said, which was practically everybody since people were shushing others who were talking so they could hear, started to "Ooooh" when they heard that little service of quick wit. The hyenas of course started their annoying cackling like a chorus directed by a maestro._

_Brooke laughed out of spite. "Is that all you have, Rachel? If I remember correctly, you're the one who had all of the moves you were willing to try with him in the Kama Sutra dog-eared and on hand."_

"_Oh snap!" Echoed thunderously against the enclosed courtyard and all of the spectators watching and listening in on this word battle were laughing._

_I looked around at all of our peers smiling and throwing their heads back as they laughed hysterically. I spotted Lucas who wasn't trying to hold back his laughing. I knew for certain he hated Rachel, so seeing her get her ass handed to her by a fellow (and nicer) Untouchable was definitely worthy of a highlight recap at the end of the year. _

_Rachel tried to laugh off the comment, but you could tell that her confidence was quickly deteriorating. "Whatever. You know that Nathan was about to ask me, so you decided to fuck it up for me!"_

"_Aw Rachel," Brooke jumped back in right away not even waiting for the crowd to react, "didn't you know that I'm not that _into_ you." _

_People again started to laugh, but Brooke was ready to just end this retarded and, might I add, not needed circus. "Oh, and I think it's pretty funny how you pride yourself on having hormone radar, you must've read Nathan's all wrong because," Brooke tsked twice, "he looked like he was about to hurl every time you rubbbed your crusty, STD-infected self against him." _

_The Everybody's and many of the Untouchables who were not Rachel sympathizers, started to high-five and howl with laughter now. They had been waiting for this to happen between Rachel and Brooke for years now, so this was a golden moment for many._

_Rachel's face turned bright red, which contrasted horrifically with her fake-bake (orange tan for you non-knowers). But Brooke wasn't done yet; oh no, she was just about to twist the invisible knife in Rachel's gut and then she'd wash her hands of the entire stunt. "So if you call that 'fucking it up for you,' I call it saving you the embarrassment of asking him the day before the dance because you think he's just being shy, so you'd lighten up the mood and give him an incentive while being… clad in your birthday suit in the locker room… and being shot down quicker than you ever been in your life." _

_I could practically here the smash of the gong resonate in my ears, and so did everyone else in the courtyard because people stood up from their seats and gave Brooke wolf whistles and the loudest round of clapping to ever fill the small space. Rachel didn't waste her time standing there any longer because she knew she lost the show-down… terribly. Her pack of hyenas stood in awe of Brooke for a split second before they remembered who they were there in support of and hightailed it to catch up with Elmo. _

Side-note quick: The funny thing about that particular courtyard show is that people still talk about it as if it was a historic moment, like a slim and exciting basketball that got the Ravens one of our state basketball trophies. Even though Brooke wouldn't admit, I knew she loved finally serving Rachel a piece of her own medicine, and I couldn't help but be proud of my BFF of doing exactly that.

Brooke got more gawks in the hallway than ever before now. People with brighter eyes, bigger smiles, and great confidence congratulated Brooke as she walked by them. It kind of made Brooke feel awkward, but at the same time feel like the consensus really supported her, which was a really nice feeling to have, if I don't say so myself.

That's when Callie Thomas, Brooke's little sister, started to tag along with the three of us. I don't think it was because she wanted to be loved just because she didn't seem the type to bask in the limelight, even if she was the one center stage. Cassie was more of the type who wouldn't care if she was loved, hated, both, or neither to the Everybody's.

Callie was a short kid with light freckles, light green eyes, and light brown hair. Her style was more on the preppy side, if any. She liked polos in pastel colors, Abercrombie blouses, blue-jean mini skirts, and cute All-American ripped up blue jeans. But you could tell that she didn't wear the clothes like she "owned" them, y'know. She seemed uncomfortable, awkward, and unsure of every aspect of herself. But she wore those clothes because she wanted to be accepted, at least by the Untouchables, and going to the classic look was, well, a safe choice.

Seeing as she, like I said in an earlier podcast, had the good old fashioned GND (Girl Next Door) persona about her, she was paired with Brooke automatically. Sure, Brooke thought the kid was cute and sweet, but Brooke didn't nearly as much enjoy hanging out with Cassie as she did with my little sister, Madison. So to say that Cassie knew Brooke didn't see her as the apple of her eye was an understatement. It didn't seem like it bothered her, I mean, she never glared at Madison or show contempt towards Brooke, so I have any problem with Cassie deciding to start hanging out with us. If anything, I think all three of us liked seeing that Cassie was taking steps to get to know Brooke because the semester prior, it was hard to get her to agree on penciled-in dates. So the Three Amigas turned into the Four Musketeers.

Everything was going smoothly transition wise. While the old three had all of these inside jokes, Cassie quickly caught on to all of them making it seem like she had been apart of the group since the beginning. Of course, there was a bit of censorship on all of our parts just because it would be idiotic to "catch" her up on all things secret and holy. We weren't born yesterday, after all. We three knew quietly what to talk about and what not to talk about, at least for now until we had total faith in her. One slightly small detail being Operation: K-Roe (hopefully you sensed the sarcasm).

But in the middle of all this fitting into place, happy-go-lucky, la la land feeling going on in all four of our lives, I couldn't help feel like someone was watching us. I had this icy feeling run down my spine occur more and more the four of us were minding our own business as we walked to our classes. I wouldn't call it paranoia… more like the gravity of knowing someone was and not just _thinking_ someone was. But who and why?

XXXXXXXXX** (Change of POV don't freak out if you're confused, I'll explain in my AN)**

**The girls were jittery with anticipation about the news I was about to deliver. I couldn't help but smirk at the good news I held over their heads like an owner waving a treat over a frenzied dog's head while telling it to stay. Damn, being the Alpha dog felt like soma to the body; it was definitely soothing to the ego as well.**

**Clearing my throat was a signal to them to shut the hell up and listen. I smirked knowing that the tension was rising as they waited for me to speak. "I have some good news, girls."**

**The girls all looked around like happy dogs panting excitedly after hearing their owner speak in a high-pitched voice. "The Jewels of the Family is going according to plan. One of our fellow Jewels has successfully infiltrated the Three Amigas', a.k.a. Three Hoe-migas'," all of the Jewels laughed at that, "and thinks she'll be able to give up the scoop on what those three are up to."**

**I let the girls animatedly chat about the what if's that could arise from what those three were setting up. After a few seconds though, I started up again, "Now, I know we're all really amped up about this operation going our way, but something that could really screw us over on the entire plan would be one of you," I stared at each one of them in the eye to tell them exactly how serious and frightening I could be, "blabs about it too loudly, too often, or too excitedly."**

**Some of the girls gulped and I felt oddly majestic about it. "If I even feel like you're shooting your mouth of in the slightest, you better damn well know, your ass is mine!" I didn't have to raise my voice in the slightest to get my point across, after all, it's the people you fear the most who don't have to do something aggressive or belligerent to make you sit up, be attentive, and know they'll crack the whip in a millisecond… it's the calm ones.**

"**So," I perked up, "let's not fuck this up."**

**I let silence be an ally to me again and let the tension rise before I spoke again. **

"**Who's glad to be a Family Jewel?!" I said as if I was cheering on the basketball team.**

**All of the girls in my bedroom cheered. Power blossomed in the pit of my stomach, and just like morphine it eased the stings from the ego burn I got days earlier.**

**As some of the lower ranking Jewels started leaving (they knew they weren't needed from here on out… or really welcome from there on out since they didn't have any seniority in the group), my first lieutenant came up to me, Shelly.**

**Whispering, so the other ranking officers and sergeants wouldn't overhear, "Do you know how the time-line is going? I know many of the girls are weary about this actually happening."**

**Feeling the power I had just felt sifting through my core felt threatened all too quick for comfort. I grabbed Shelly's arm and dragged her over to the corner of my room so we could be farther out of hearing range. "What the hell are you thinking of asking me that when everyone else is in here?"**

**Fear swept over Shelly's face and the color in her already pale face drained. "I'm sorry, Rach. I wasn't thinking."**

"**I think that's pretty obvious," I quickly jabbed back. Skimming my room to see if there were any stragglers in my room, I barked, "All of you, get the hell out of here—there won't be an officer meeting today. For crying out loud, are ya'll in love with me or something?! Get out!"**

**I waited until every last one of the girls were out of the room, especially my second lieutenant, Teresa, who I felt could go either way at the drop of a hat. I liked to keep my friends close and my enemies closer… which goes to say I needed to keep a choker hold on Shelly. She was never spotted with me at school, which made for the perfect second in charge, but that was the exact same reason I didn't trust her as nearly as much as I did my sergeants. They were like my little laps dogs, and Shelly was like the old hound dog you yelled at for sleeping too much and not being more active, but still liked having around for the sake of having something to fall back on when your lap dogs pissed you off with their complete ignorance.**

**Shelly looked down at the floor and waited for me to continue. I loved seeing that she couldn't look me in the eye… it proved that she felt herself inferior to me. I reveled in it. **

"**Shelly," I tried to make it seem like I was compassionate and not mad at her. "I'm not mad, okay? Just please you more caution with asking me those kind of questions… all right? At least while certain members are in the room, especially Theresa."**

**I liked to drop names so I could make the members I was one-on-one with feel like they were confidante when really every single member in apart of the Jewels of the Family had a name dropped on them and had been the name dropped on someone else. I thought of it as my little own technique that worked to my advantage.**

**Shelly nodded her head, still not looking at me in the eye. **

"**Okay, that's good you understand." Breathing out, I looked around my room to find some source of inspiration to give her the time-line she asked about. I had to make it seem soon, but not too soon as to make the girls get high hopes and then be disappointed in not getting what they wanted when they expected it.**

**I moved from random object to random object, picture to picture of "friends" (I had a picture of every single member somewhere in my room—another method of making them feel special), computer to stereo, until my eye finally landed on my believable lie: a dried rose. I remembered the old rhyme, "April showers bring May flowers."**

"**May," I finally whispered loud enough for her to hear and only her to hear just because I didn't know if someone was listening in on the other side of the door. "She thinks it will be May. She can't promise anything before Prom, but she truly believes that we'll be able to nail them before Graduation. That would give us enough to time to ruin their high school years before June comes around."**

**Shelly smiled probably the biggest smile I'd ever seen her smile. She started to nod her head fervently, "All right." **

**I nodded my head back, but I noticed a slight change in her demeanor. "What? What is it?" I asked a little impatiently.**

**She looked up at the ceiling as if preparing to be yelled at again for what she was about to ask. "Would it be all right if I told the girls that? I mean, I don't have to, it's just I know that if they had a time-line in mind they'd—"**

"**Yeah, that's fine." I interjected snappily. "I thought you were already going to tell them since that was basically your question to begin with."**

"**Right," Shelly said blushing.**

**We stood there for a moment and I felt irritation start to suffocate me. "You can leave now."**

"**Right, yeah… I was going to… go." She replied as she quickly and clumsily started to grab her things and leave my room.**

**Right when Shelly's hand was on the doorknob and turning the knob, I felt like adding just a tad bit more of fear into her. "Oh, and Shelly, if somehow the girls feel like sending a messenger again, the messenger will be shot. Figuratively speaking, of course."**

**Staring wide-eyed at me, Shelly took a minute before she could move and a few seconds later before she nodded in response. And like a bat out of hell, she was out of here.**

**Laughing, I plopped myself down onto my bed. Getting someone to all but pee their pants was definitely an adrenaline rush… **

**I rolled onto my stomach and looked at the Hit List and the three pictures pasted onto the construction paper next to the Hoe-miga's rightful name.**

"**It's time to get what was coming to you three bitches," I whispered to the pictures. "Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis, and Madison Copper will Fall like no one's Fallen before."**

**It was all coming together right when they thought they were at their safest… kind of poetic.**

XXXXXXXXX** (Change of POV back to Peyton)**

With only two days left 'til the MD, I felt like everything that needed to happen, happened. I was asked by Jake Jagielski, a cute acoustic guitar playing basketball player, to the Midnight Dance. Even though he was a really sweet guy, it was hard for me to act like I was interested and excited about going with him, but luckily he didn't pick up on any of my indifference.

I hadn't seen too much of Lucas recently just because he was tutoring a Sophomore during our free block, so we didn't get any time to really see each other for more than two seconds or between a passing period. I can't say that I was kind of relieved of that fact, especially after I said yes to Jake because I was totally guilty. But then at the same time, I hadn't picked up on any hints that he even wanted to go to the MD. I brought it up a few times just to see what his reaction would be and all of the times I got a monotone "I'm not sure yet."

I followed my usual routine though for the rest of the day. I went to Economics, AP Art Studio, and then finally Philosophy before I got a pass to go to the Tutor Center.

"_Peyton," Mr. Bennet called out as he sat down on the edge of his desk. "You're needed in the Tutor Center."_

_I looked up confused seeing as I didn't need tutoring and nor was I a tutor. But nonetheless, I wasn't going to let that get in the way of getting out of class for a few minutes. _

_Grabbing my stuff, I headed for the Tutor Center._

_When I walked into the abandoned room, I looked around to see if there was a particular person waiting for me. Then out of nowhere someone's hand yanks me back behind the door, and that hand belonged to Lucas._

_Feeling euphoric to see him, I smiled up at him. "Hey there, buster. Was it your doing that got me out of class?"_

_Lucas smiled his breathtaking goofy smile. "Oh yeah, you know… I'm a rebel and all."_

_Laughing, I stood up on my tip-toes to give him a quick peck, "That you are."_

_But instead of going on a full-fledge make out like I was hoping for, Lucas shook his head in a very mischievous way. "No, no, no."_

"_Yes, yes, yes," I jousted back playfully trying again for a kiss, but it was skillfully dodged by Lucas again._

"_Before we work on our motor skills, I wanted to ask you something." Lucas whispered as she put his hands lightly on my waist._

_Just like before, I felt the pang of a door swinging open and hitting me out of nowhere. My heart started to race in a not so good way and that numbing paralysis started to course at an alarming rate. Please God, don't let it be that question._

_Lucas smiled, "Would you like to go to the Midnight Dance with me?" His eyes were dancing, which killed me because I knew that in a moment's time, they wouldn't be._

**Author's Notes**:

Okay, you're probably thinking, "Why did the chapter end like that?" Cliffhanger! Lol. I hope you're not mad by it being that way, but I want some suspense.

Alright, about the POV change… I really wanted you all to see something Peyton hadn't seen coming. Maybe that's anticlimactic for you or you rather be surprised, but I thought that it was already obvious after Peyton started feeling like someone was watching her, y'know. So I really wanted you all to see what was going on behind the scenes and from a different perspective with basically the same motive except different at the same time. Oh! And it's in bold because even though it's a specific event in the past, it's not told be Peyton, but Rachel. Okay? Hopefully I didn't just confuse you. Lol.

Also, one of my friends has read this and told me that it's kind of confusing about Peyton already recapping what happened and then the italics happen and they're still in the past. Well, I wanted to clarify that just in case any of you were confused by it. When it's normal font (not **bold** or _italicized_), she's kind of recalling the past in general… in a very outlined kind of way. But when the font is _italicized_, Peyton is recalling a very detailed and specific event from the past. You might've realized that you can actually read conversations, actions, and inner thoughts better when it's in the _italicized_/specific mode and that's basically the point. Every italicized event is important in some way, whether for reasons as to why Peyton is doing this, showing the bond of a friendship, or giving you reason as to why LP is real and not just a pawn for Peyton inevitable Fall. Okay? Hopefully that cleared it up for you guys. :)

All in all, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took me awhile to really get the ball rolling on it and I'm very sorry about that. I get unmotivated sometimes, and that's bad on my part, especially when I know so many people are loyal to this piece. Again, I'm sorry!

Please give me some feedback on what you thought—there's nothing better to read, not even Bradbury. It's something that helps me become a better writer too, so if you have any advice, please drop me some. :)

You all are pretty amazing people. Thanks for reading when it was an unedited draft. If it's unbearable to read because it was, please tell me that when/if you review that way I can upload a cleaned, edited draft. If not, I'll just leave it be 'cause I'm lazy like that. Lol.

-Caley


	8. Being an ass just comes naturally

**Author's Notes: **Again, this chapter is **UNEDITED**!Please forgive me for the wait and please forgive of the grammatical errors that are sure to be in this chapter. I just wanted to put this up as quickly as possible so you all can devour it. At least, I hope you devour it.

**Chapter Eight: Being an ass just comes naturally**

_I couldn't will myself to talk… I didn't want to kill the happiness in his eyes… I didn't want this blissful stage in our relationship to end, not yet. _

_Lucas must've sensed that I wasn't feeling well because he felt my forehead. "Jeez, Peyton, you're burning up!" He said urgently as he guided me to one of the tables to get a seat. "Are you feeling all right—have you eaten?" _

_His concern for me was doing more harm than good, at least when it came to my guilt. Luckily though, before Lucas was about to run for help, I meekly said, "No, I'm fine."_

"_No," he laughed at my stubbornness, "you're not. Your hands are clammy, you're pale, you're burning up, and you're a little out of it."_

_I couldn't let him do this… I couldn't let him be so nice to me when really I was about to show him how much of an inconsiderate bitch I was. "That's not it, Luke."_

_Confusion washed over his brow and a darker blue swirled around in his eyes: fear. "W-what is it? You can tell me." He nudged reassuringly._

_Vainly trying to swallow the soreness in my throat away, I looked down at the ground like a coward, not able to look him in the eye. "I can't go to the Midnight Dance with you because…," my voice shook considerably, "because… Damn it!"_

_I felt tears stinging my eyes as Lucas slowly removed his hands from mine._

"_Oh, I see." He hoarsely whispered. All of the technicalities of who he was and who I was must've overflowed from his mind all the way to his heart like a glass finally spilling over. We were finally realizing love wasn't just a heart's game despite all of our secret rendezvous', low whispers, and subtle hints we grew accustomed to inside of the library or in Lucas' hide-out._

_I finally willed myself to look up and comfort Lucas… I didn't want him to feel like I was ashamed of him or just messing with him for small quickies just to pass the time. But when I looked up at him, he wouldn't look at me. I was finally flawed to him, finally not this misunderstood girl who just so happened to be an Untouchable—I was the Untouchable first now, and the misunderstood girl second. _

"_Lucas," I barely whispered loud enough for him to hear me. He still didn't look at me and I felt like I was about to crumble right before the boy I knew could pick me back up again, but wouldn't if I didn't save us first. "Lucas, please… please look at me." _

_The tears I was waging war against were starting to win the battle as they sneakily slid down my now flushed cheeks. I quickly wipe them away roughly: why did I have to turn into a human hosepipe and be even more vulnerable? But somehow, probably hearing me sniffle, Lucas sadly looked over at me._

_His eyes were flashing contempt. Why couldn't one of us have been cooler or less cool so we wouldn't have to be barred off from one another? And his eyes also berthed contempt for me too… I was the one who wasn't willing to be fully committed to a relationship he was almost sacrificing a friendship for._

_I pushed my curls behind my ears to keep them from getting in my eyes. I silently prayed that this wasn't the end of it, not yet, not ever. _

_I sensed Lucas tense up quickly as if he had just had a realization. "Who is it?" Lucas asked forcefully. He must've put two and two together, and knew that I was going to have to go with someone to the MD—it was expected of a girl like me to have a date with equal or greater par. "Who's the jerk-off that's taking you?" He demanded while looking me pointblank in the eye. _

"_Jake," I replied looking back down at the carpeted floor and then back up at Lucas. _

_Instead of shouting like I thought he would, Lucas just sat there in thought. His eyes focused on nothing and were coated with a cloud of deep contemplation. I felt like the conclusion he came up with would make or break our relationship. But right when I thought that one more millisecond of this overwhelming silence would be as final as the crow's call in a horror movie, Lucas nodded. "Okay, okay that's better than Tim or Brent or Mike. Jake and I used to be cool back before...," Lucas stopped himself from finishing, but it wasn't like I didn't know the answer myself: he and Jake used to be friends before Jake disowned him to become an Untouchable. _

_And following that seal of approval, for the first time since this little but quintessentially big bump in the road happened, he showed me the tenderness and general "okay-ness" I had been yearning for. He wiped away my strayed tears and looked me softly in the eyes. "But if he tries one thing on you, I'll make him wish he hadn't. All right?"_

_I felt relief and happiness overflow my veins become the perfect antidote for the numbing paralysis of guilt and fear I had been feeling only seconds earlier. "Okay!" I replied gripping both of his coarse, warm hands with mine._

"_Good," Lucas shot back with a bittersweet smile on his face. He traced my jaw line with one of his hands and leaned in to give me a loving and leisure kiss… most likely for assurance and comfort that even though he wasn't exactly liking the idea of me going with someone else, he wasn't exactly angry with me for having to protect my reputation as one of the leading Untouchables. After all, he knew what he was getting into when he started dating me._

After school that day, Brooke, Madison, Cassie and I went on a last minute dress hunt. All of us wanted something that would live up to all of our bombshell reputations, we only hoped those dresses were still available. I couldn't help but feel guilty for shopping for something "sexy" that wasn't meant for Lucas to be struck speechless, but being that I was waste deep with my mission, I couldn't just wear a potato sack to the MD if I wanted to stay that way. I mean, if anyone got an inkling that I was a tad too modest or a little apathetic about my date… the rumor mill would turn as if a hurricane was going on.

Brooke and Madison were supportive though. They knew I didn't want to be eye-candy for anyone but Lucas so they didn't push me to hurry up the picking out process. I'm sure Cassie though was a little confused with my crestfallen behavior 'cause I saw her looking over at me in a bewildered way, but like a wise kid she was, she didn't ask what was the matter. And even if she did, she would've just gotten the usual "nothing" like everyone gives when they don't want to talk about it.

By the time the mall closed, each of us had something that the other three unanimously agreed was "hot" and left with that said killer dress. Brooke got this incredible knee-length strapless red dress that was sure to make all of the boys do double takes. Madison picked out a pretty green dress that brought out her happy-go-lucky-I'll-kick-your-ass-if-you-touch-me eyes. Then Cassie bought the dress her heart was set on from the beginning: a fiery blue number that left her shoulders and neck bare save for the two spaghetti straps that held her dress in place. And finally, I went the classic route and got a vintage black cocktail dress that everyone said was very Audrey Hepburn-esque.

When we reached the parking lot, I felt a little bit better because I saw that the girls were so considerate and understanding during the whole process.

"_Are you sure that you're still up for us sleeping over tonight, Peyt?" Brooke asked rubbing my back gingerly. "I'm sure you want your space so you can brood this whole thing over."_

_Shaking my head and raising my chin for the first time since the Tutor Center session of sorts happened, I replied, "No, I think having ya'll around is exactly what I need."_

_The three girls "awed" and embraced me in a group hug. Just knowing that they were there for me made me feel better… it made me remember that, yes, I wanted to be with Lucas for the longest time, but I wasn't Falling just so I could be with him, I was Falling so everyone in this school wouldn't hide behind their status whether it was the highest of them or the lowest._

"_Okay," I said backing out of the hug. "Let's get back to my place and gossip, pig-out, and watch really cheesy movies. That always seems to put me in a really good mood."_

When I woke up after a long, fun night of boy band and girl band karaoke, Titanic, and ridiculous modeling sessions, I was blinded by Saturday's morning rays. It seemed like from the get-go of that day, I found an obstacle in almost everything I did: getting out of bed, getting ready, eating, pretending to be happy, and joking around. I felt like I was in a never-ending parade of "What Peyton Does Not Want To Do Today."

"_Here," Brooke barely whispered as she added a layer of eye shadow on Cassie's closed eyes. Stepping back to look at her work, Brooke smirked. "Man, am I good or am I good?"_

_Madison walked over as she clasped her earring on. Nodding in agreement, Madison smiled and said, "You're good all right."_

_Cassie opened her eyes and checked herself out in the mirror with a big, confidant smile on her face. "Wow!" _

_Looking over at me now, Cassie asked, "What do you think Peyton?"_

_Plastering on my best happy face, I nodded my head and replied, "You look beautiful, Cass."_

_Being the close friend that Brooke was, Brooke knew that happy face all too well to know that I wasn't happy at all. She cast me a weary look, but decided better than to call me out on it. Instead, she walked over to my dresser and opened the small mahogany box on top. She rummaged through there for a minute before she found what she was looking for. Turning around slowly, she adorned an elegant pearl necklace in her hands._

"_This is the only thing you'll need tonight accessory-wise," Brooke softly spoke as she placed the pearls on my bare neck and clasped it for me. "There," she said backing up just like she did just moments earlier with Cassie, "done."_

_Madison and Cassie nodded in the background._

_Looking over at my alarm clock on my side table, I found the time flashing in red: 10: 40 PM. Our dates would be here picking each of us in a single limo in forty minutes. _

At that moment, I felt like Doomsday was just about here and blow a whole in the universe known as Peyton's Sanity and Gut Land.

_Forty-five minutes later, the door bell sounded telling all of us girls that our dates had arrived. _

_Breathing out all of my anxieties, I stood up from my bed and made my way with everyone down stairs to where the boys were waiting in my foyer. I remembered that the last time I had done such a thing was with Lucas. Sadness swept over me again for the billionth time that day, but I had to be the undercover agent I was, so I trudged through the pain. _

_Jake was standing in front of the pack of guys in the well lit, open room. He was wearing a simple black fitted suit with a sleek black tie, which must've been flattened over and over again out of nervous routine because a faint line was creased down the middle. Jake was talking animatedly with my dad, who I gave the heads up to of Jake's presence rather than Lucas', until he finally noticed me coming down the stairs. His demeanor changed from jittery excitement to calm fascination as he locked eyes with me, which sent another pang of guilt to rush through my body. Jake was nice guy who obviously liked me and must've spent the entire day making sure each and every last detail was running smoothly just so he could impress me, yet I was just using him as a little replacement. I couldn't help but think: Hail Queen Bitch the First. _

_Nathan stood strongly behind Jake with a look of "Oh my God" in his eyes when he saw Brooke fully now since I had gotten out of the way. He was practically wearing the same thing as Jake except with a red tie and a different cut._

_I looked over at Brooke to see that she was blushing slightly (which is shocking because Brooke never blushes, y'know) most likely from Nathan's amazed state. I was glad for my BFF—she finally got the ever legendary good guy, who's practically just as rare as a freaking unicorn these days._

_Then Liam, a Junior and the MVP of the soccer team, was to the right of Nathan. He was a cute, lanky guy with amazing hair, who was wearing nice black slacks, a white dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a nice black tight, and an unbuttoned grey vest. He was exactly Madison's type, and I had a feeling that they would be more than each other's dates by the end of the night._

_Finally to the left of Nathan was Thomas, an heir to a big bucks company in Raleigh and the ego to match it. He was the best linebacker for the varsity football team and he was only a Sophomore, so his stature was more meaty and big-boned than the rest of the men in the room. He suited a nice pair of light grey slacks, a white dress shirt, topped off with an eye-grabbing royal blue tie—probably to show his school spirit. _

_I didn't know Cassie well enough to know if she was excited about having one of the richest boys in school ask her out to the MD or not. But seeing as she was just as enigmatic and cryptic as I was, I couldn't read her just based on her smile alone. At school, a different smile seemed to phase her each time something went her way. She was definitely a character to be mystified and puzzled over, which worked for her in the boy department so far. I mean, Thomas was living proof of that obviously._

_Clapping his hands, my dad's voice boomed, "All right, it's a little past my bed time so if you all wouldn't mind, how about you get a move on so I can get my beauty sleep? Y'know, I have to look simply gorgeous tomorrow," my dad joked with a feminine voice, which kind of broke the ice for all of us nervous, hormone-raged, gawky teenagers. _

_Everyone mumbled something along the lines of "Okay" and started to head outside with our dates next to us. I stopped just before the door and gave my dad a goodbye hug._

"_See you, Papa." I whispered in his ear before I broke the hug._

"_See you too, Goldilocks," my dad replied in a sad tone. His dramatic change of inflection caught my ear which caused me to almost ask, "What's the matter," but I stopped myself._

"_Just go on ahead—I'll talk to you tomorrow." He whispered lightly as he nodded towards the door._

_Jake was waiting for me on the porch. You could tell that he was definitely nervous now that it was just the two of us. _

_It was one of the first times Jake and I were thrown into a situation like this: dating. We usually just shot the shit about a newly released album in Anatomy and Physiology or talked about the indie movie we turned out to like this week when he had a break in basketball practice. He was exactly my type, too. Jake was kind, compassionate, soft-spoken, handsome, had captivating brown eyes, lean from basketball, and played the guitar, which was a total turn-on. But even though he was just my type, he wasn't the person I wanted._

"_Sorry," Jake threw out there as he helped guide me down the porch stairs. _

_Looking over at him in a bemused sort of what I asked, "For what?" He was a mess, but it was cute in a puppy dog sort of way. I couldn't help but berate myself for being such a put-on when all Jake was doing was being honest and genuine. Some role model I am._

_Jake laughed slightly and made a gesture for what lay ahead of us: the stretch limo and our friends. "For this; 'this' being what we're doing now." His cheeks started to rapidly turn red as the seconds passed. "I don't date much because of… well, because I'm a fumbling idiot when it comes to going out with girls I really like, especially the ones I've liked for a really long time. Oh damn it," Jake stopped himself and then looked over at me as we kept walking over to the stretch limo. "I'm rambling."_

"_No," I laughed in a good-natured kind of way, "you're not. You're just nervous and I think it's cute that you are because, well, not too many guys are these days except for…" That's when I put the breaks on the Shooting Your Mouth Off Express. _

_Jake seemed intrigued who this honorable 'except for' was, but he didn't ask. Thank God for Jake's non-nosiness. Instead his eyes brightened up. "Y'know Peyton, I can't remember a time when you didn't make me feel like a complete jackass, even when I'm awkward… like now." He laughed at himself._

_I laughed as well, but that was only because I really wanted to run back inside, barricade myself in, and cry because of how monstrous I was and how sweet Jake was being. If he only knew._

_Once we were all settled into the stretch limo, I could finally go into self-depreciation mode inside my mind. I yelled at myself, called myself really mean and awful things, vowed that I would never ever again use someone, and then yelled at myself again. All the while, I found the alcohol stash._

_Brooke was the one who questioned me first, "Peyton, do you really think that's a good idea? I mean, what if there are breathalyzers at the doors?"_

_Choosing my poison of choice, I grabbed a small bottle of vodka, shrugged my shoulders, and laughed ignorantly. "I guess I'm going to be fucked." Everyone else nervously laughed along with me, trying to save the situation from becoming awkward, save for Brooke. The look of disappointment in her eyes definitely cause a searing pang to shoot through my heart._

_As I twisted the small cap off of the bottle, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake's happy despite being nervous composure slowly disappear. Even though I felt incredibly guilty for making his night not go exactly the way he planned it as well as Brooke's obvious frustration with me, it fueled my selfish want to get shit-faced even more. So I chugged that little bottle in one gulp and, man, did it feel nice to take the edge off of the pain, even if it meant a loss in sense and niceness for an hour._

When my group finally arrived at the school, I was already becoming a handful for them. I wasn't giving anyone lap-dances or flash shows, but my frankness and obnoxious jokes were beginning to wear thin on everyone's nerves, at least since they had no 'escape' from them at the moment... unless they wanted to jump out of a moving vehicle.

As we all piled out of the limo, Brooke reported that there weren't any teachers or Po-Po (policemen, jeez, if you didn't know that one, you're socially recluse) giving breathalyzers at the entrance. I suppose they were giving everyone the benefit of the doubt of not coming to a pep rally meets formal dance completely wasted or maybe the alumni decided to let us kids off the hook because it was a pep rally meets formal dance for the basketball team, who were the biggest partiers in the school. I guess those good ol' memories of high school persuaded them either way.

I don't really remember much of the night besides the horrible music that was played and my head ending up in a toilet bowl, which caused Brooke to yell at me _loudly_ about how inconsiderate I was acting towards Jake.

"_Jesus, Peyton! I expected more from you, I mean, you're the freaking GTS hailed to be so akin to Karen Roe, and yet you're being the wasted bitch you acted like in Freshman year before Dani—"_

_Even though I had a splitting headache, a bit of puke in my mouth, and freezing, I was coherent enough to hold up a finger to silence her from saying what she was just about to say. Wiping my mouth from the drool and spit that comes hand in hand with throw-up, I cleared my throat and hoarsely said, "Check the other stalls."_

_Brooke did as I told her and made sure that the room was clear of any eavesdropper or random bathroom make-up checker. She was just about to revamp her rant when I quieted her again._

"_I know I've been a bitch tonight, it's just—"_

_It was Brooke's turn to interrupt me now. "No, don't pull the 'I don't want to be here because I'm not here with You-Know-Who's crap."_

"_Voldemort?" I cracked sarcastically as I weakly got up from the cold, dirty bathroom tile. Seeing Brooke's seriousness though, I knew it wasn't the time for Ha-ha's. "Sorry."_

"_You just don't get it, Peyton." Brooke stated in a heartbroken way._

_Feeling frustrated and pissed off (that now I look back on it, it was most likely because the vodka was still in my system), I threw my hands up in the air. "What? What don't I get?"_

_Shaking her head and looking down at the floor in sad disbelief, Brooke softly shed, "You're his _the_ girl and you're ruining the one night he's dreamed of for… God knows how long."_

_Sudden realization dawned on me as if I was just experiencing Eisley live for the first time, except I wasn't as mesmerized, happy, or enthralled, but I was just as speechless and shocked. My gut flipped over a few good times, making me want to rush back over to the toilet I had just gotten acquainted with and puke my brains out, but I didn't. "Damn," I said falling against the wall in a very 'Oh no' sort of way. _

"_Yeah," Brooke snapped with her arms crossed in front of her. "God, Peyton, I never imagined that you would do something like you did tonight. I mean, did you just think you were the last resort for Jake or something? If you did, man, talk about being way off the map. He's liked you since I can remember, which is something I really can't account for with Lucas." Her words hurt worse that slaps, worse than punches, hell, worse that kicks, but they were true._

"_Get your act together," Brooke spat before she turned on her heel and walked out of the bathroom leaving me alone with a ferocious inner conflict going on in my little head of mine._

When I finally had the courage to go back out to the gym, it was right when Dan Scott, the Mayor and Nathan's dad, walked out into the middle of the basketball court with a microphone in hand and a hot spotlight in on him. At just a surface glance, anyone would think that Dan Scott was a congenial man with an honorable past and a steadfast morally led life. But if you were close with Nathan or his Trophy Wife/Mother, Deb, you knew that Dan was anything but a loving, compassionate soul: he was the Devil's right hand man. Okay, maybe that's a little bit over the top and harsh, but it's true.

_The powerful luminescent light followed Dan out as he walked to the center of the court. Everyone gathered around in a full circle at least ten feet away from Dan waiting excitedly to hear what he had to say about the playoffs. After all, this was Dan Scott, a legend himself in Tree Hill and the father of Nathan Scott, who was already making a name for himself. _

_He waited for everyone to get quiet, and even cast the DJ—the one with the bad taste in music—a morbidly threatening look of 'turn that shit off before I kill your records' look, which got the job done because the hellish music stopped._

"_Who's proud to be a Raven?!" He shouted into the microphone with a big cheesy smile on his face. The light made his teeth almost Ross-like in that one FRIENDS episode when he whitens his pearly whites to the point where they glow in the dark. Everyone erupted into a raucous cheer of enthusiasm._

_Laughing to myself, I caught a glimpse of where the group was. I walked over to them in a disquieted manner. Even though Brooke laid down the iron arm in the bathroom only minutes prior, she was now very comforting. But the one person I wanted to catch their eye and get their acceptance was Jake, who chose to look at everything else besides me. I knew the damage was done tonight and probably for a good long time._

"_That's right—you all know who's going to win. You all know who's going to dominate and you're proud of it!" Again, cheering overtook the middle-aged Mayor. _

"_I just, I just wanted to tell the team that I'm so proud of them. I haven't felt this alive since I was on the team, and Nathan, I can't tell you how proud of you I am." All of the girls who had mad crushes on Nathan awed and clapped. Nathan of course looked as if he wanted to walk out, but of course, didn't._

"_Let's get a chant of Ravens going! Ravens! Ravens! Ravens!" He pumped his fist every time Ravens was said. Everyone else started to chime in, well, those who were school spirited, wasted, or just caught up in the moment._

Basically the rest of the MD was based on rallying up for the basketball team and eventless. I was as sober as sober can get when we all got back into the limo and Liam said was "that was pretty much gay" causing this night to go in the books as pointless.

But just like inside the gym, Jake made it a point to ignore me and give me the cold shoulder. I couldn't really blame him. If Lucas got completely drunk and spent almost the entirety of our date in the bathroom puking up the alcohol he got shit-faced on, I would've been pretty aggravated, disappointed, resentful, hurt, and the like. But each attempt I made to get him to look at me or at least listen to me was an ever losing battle of "fuck off."

"_Jake, I'm sorry," I whispered, taking hold of one of his hands._

_Yanking his hand out of my grip, he spat, "Yeah, right—is that the alcohol or you saying that?"_

_Being stung literally, I could see, in full, the damage I really had done. "Jake," I said in total disbelief of his fury._

"_What? Actually, don't answer that 'cause I don't have time to hear why you got totally hammered tonight. Hey Driver! Driver, pull over!" Jake started shouting all of a sudden. The limo started coming to a stop. Everyone else in the limo tried to ask Jake to stay in the car, but, at the same time, couldn't blame him for wanting to leave. They all knew I had been the worst date possible and the _the_ girl nightmare from Hell tonight. _

_Feeling helpless and hopeless yet still wanting to make this all better, I continued, "Jake, please…"_

_Getting out of the limo in a hurry, Jake turned around right when he got outside. "No, I'm not going to listen. Y'know, I thought you were different, Peyton. I mean, I really thought you were cool and fun to be around. Shit, was I wrong." And at that, he slammed the door shut and hit the top of the limo to let the driver know he could continue on his route._

To say that the rest of the limo ride was awkward would be an understatement. I was a wreck for being a wreck at the MD and being so 'whatever' towards Jake the entire time, everyone was sad and mad that I was a wreck at the MD, and everyone was sad and mad that I seemingly ruined the MD for them as well. Man, I was in deep.

And when I woke up on Sunday, it was ten times worse. For me, it always seems worse the next day when you just try to shut it off before you fall to sleep fitfully. Ergo, it was worse. I called Brooke immediately and apologized, she accepted the apology but said that the person I really needed to apologize to was Jake. I knew that, but I wasn't just going to exasperatedly shout that into the receiver of my phone. After Brooke, I called Madison, who said it wasn't that big of a deal and then also went on to tell me that I should really be apologizing to Jake. This procession went on to the point where I called everyone except for Jake while everyone else told me I should be calling him. I get the Ignoramus Award of the Moment, but I was so afraid of revisiting the same Jake as the 2 AM hurt Jake, who decided to walk home instead of having to be in the same vicinity as me. Can anyone say snap?

Well, Monday came and my not so put together GTS status was the talk of the school. Many people were shocked that I acted that way while others were saying they knew all along that I was an alcoholic and Saturday night's MD just proved it. How lovely is the opinion of my peers! But at least I wasn't the only thing that filled up the social garble at lunch: Nathan's studliness, Ravens basketball, and how the Ravens were going to kick ass tonight were also discussed. But my UF's told me that I was, statistically, the most frequently gossiped about.

I saw Lucas in our usual spot in the Library. He was indifferent about what he heard tossed around from person to person about what happened at the MD. He was neither happy that Jake didn't do anything to me, but he also wasn't happy with my actions. Lucas wasn't big on alcohol or partying, so he really didn't condone my flippant one night stand with vodka.

"_Have you apologized to Jake yet?" Lucas asked wrapping his arm around my waist._

_Shaking my head, I answered, "No. I'm kind of afraid to just because I think he's going to freak out on me again, which I wouldn't blame him for doing."_

"_Agh, teenage angst and feuds, don't you just love 'em!" Lucas joked sarcastically._

_I groaned, "I just want this to be over with. I don't want Jake to be mad at me and I don't want to feel guilty anymore."_

_Lucas took a few seconds to respond. "Well, then go apologize. Make him listen. If he doesn't, he doesn't. It's as simple as that."_

"_Yeah, simplicity always is my strong suit and all," I mumbled back as I played with his hands._

_Lucas just laughed at that in a very 'Oh yeah, you're not' way._

But I took Lucas up on his advice. I knew that with the big first playoff game being tonight that Jake and the team would either be in the weight room, gym, or cafeteria eating carbohydrates like crazy, so I started on my pursuit of finding Jake.

I first headed to the weight room just because boys like pretending that they're Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer. Even though the majority of the team were in there just messing around, not really using the weights and mainly just listening to rap, Jake was no where to be found in the midst of the "Yee-ahs" or "Hollas." So I continued my search into the adjacent room, the big ass gym. I found Nathan and Tim in there just shooting around, mostly at the free throw line practicing like the serious players they are, well, just Nathan, that is. And again, no Jake. So to the cafeteria I went!

_Half-heartedly, I pushed the cafeteria's heavy wooden doors open. I didn't really expect Jake to be here even though they were ordered to eat carbs like it was the last thing they were ever going to eat for the rest of their lives, it was a last ditch effort. But unlike the weight room and the gym, I found Jake._

_He was listening to his iPod and eating bread, spaghetti, granola bars, and Wheaties—an odd combination, but who am I to judge? He must've not heard me enter, which left me believing that this ambush of sorts my just give him a heart attack from fright. But seeing as getting back on good terms with Jake was number one on my list, I couldn't let this opportunity pass me up._

_Sliding into the chair opposite of Jake swiftly, Jake finally noticed my presence. He jumped, to the least. But just as quickly as me sitting down, so did his fear turn into anger. Jake ripped his headphones out of his ears and stared me down. He couldn't say anything though because his mouth was full of bread, so that gave me at least ten seconds to start before he could tell me to get lost. _

_Taking a deep breath before the plunge, I finally collected my thoughts and words carefully. "Listen, I know you really don't want to see me right now or probably ever, for that matter. But, I have to say that you need to hear me out for at least," looking down at my brown Fossil rocker watch, "two minutes, and then I'll be out of your hair. Cool?"_

_He didn't nod or try to mumble through the mouthful of bread in his mouth. So I just whispered, "Cool," to myself. _

"_First and foremost, I'm sorry. I was a complete and utter ass Saturday night. I was the worst date ever and I shouldn't have been so insensitive to you, especially since you were my date. You were probably really looking forward to the MD and I ruined it for you." By this time, Jake had swallowed the entirety of the bread in his mouth earlier and was just sitting there silent, listening._

"_I shouldn't have touched the alcohol… I don't know why I did, but I did. It wasn't because I didn't like you or thought you were going to be a boring date, it was because of… life." How generic of me! He must've thought that life being the cause for my atrocious manners was a lame excuse as well, but, hey, the less he knew the safer K-Roe was._

"_Life, Peyton?" He finally jabbed. Jake was such a good listener up to this point._

"_Mmhmm," I replied back stiffly. I sucked at lying._

_Getting up impatiently and grabbing and pocketing the bread and granola bars, Jake wouldn't have it. "You're trying to apologize, but you also lie to my face while doing so. God, how lame is that!"_

"_Wait, please," I scrambled, also standing now. I really wanted him to be okay with me. He was a good friend and I hated the thought of not being able to chat about little known films or obscure bands._

"_Why? I think I've waited long enough! Do you know how long I waited for you to be single or at least not 'seeing' someone else until now? It seems like forever. I've liked you since elementary school, Peyton!" He was way more calm than the last time we had this conversation, but it seemed like this time had more 'umph' than on Saturday. "And the one time I finally get the balls to ask you to go on a date, you get shit-faced! Such a great feel good moment and dream come true for me, don'tcha think?!"_

_I swallowed painfully, trying to swallow more and more guilt that was accumulating. "I didn't know, I'm sorry."_

_Nodding bitterly, Jake picked up his iPod with ease and sauntered out of the cafeteria with a guarded brokenness that I had no business to cause in Jake. _

I should've known better than to think that Jake would magically be over the whole MD disaster than in just two days' time. It seemed like I was de-evolving into a fucking jackass by the second and I couldn't blame it on the alcohol anymore. It seemed like my mission just backfired on me in an extreme matter. Jake became my first casualty for Operation: K-Roe. I felt like I was lost in the rubble of my own grenade and all I could do was question myself. Why? Why couldn't I just skipped this one social gathering? Dani did it all the time! But no—I had to be Super-Jackass to the destruction and not only single-handedly hurt someone I cared for, but also single-handedly disillusioned someone. I was a great martyr now—I was the kind of martyr that took hostages down with them.

I skipped the rest of the school day and did the same thing for the game that night and just holed myself up in my room despite being a cheerleader. I wasn't in the mood to put another front on and steal someone else's hope. The Ravens ended up winning though. Nathan led in points, offensive boards, and defensive boards while Jake got a technical and then fouled out in the third quarter. I think everyone and their mom understood that I was the cause for his not so cool, calm, and collected attitude.

Well, I suppose that's that for this hour. Hope you liked hearing about my bitchy, inconsiderate side for once. I enjoyed telling you! Sarcasm there if you can't catch it.

**Author's Notes:** Okay, so I believe this is the first chapter since the Prelude of Preludes that I didn't have a podcast opener. Since the last chapter ended that way, I thought it would be fitting for it to start that way. Kind of like a continuation of an uninterrupted scene, but it was since it was cliffhang-er'd.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It's kind of a downer in a sense. Not too many happy moments… actually I don't think there were any happy moments. Sorry for that. I don't know. I had to have Peyton have a realization that she wasn't just playing a meaningless game of "take that" with those she was sabotaging. Peyton had to see that her peers are real people, that she shouldn't just go around using people and then throwing them away as if they're nothing. So that's why this chapter was very integral in the story. I hope it wasn't boring for it being not as focused on LP or O: K-Roe, but simply on deciding your pawns carefully.

Please tell me what you thought! Especially with this chapter since it's different in a sense of meaning. Y'know? I'm sure you all noticed it. Well, please tell me your honest opinion on the chapter—I love reading your thoughts and observations and suggestions. It's definitely helpful from a writing sense.

Thanks for your continued support! I love writing this story because ya'll love reading it—that's always a nice thing to have when you're writing a novel length story. So thanks a bunch for your support and kindness.

-Caley

The Mix: What I listened to when I wrote this chapter (as you can see many bands that I've mentioned throughout the story 'cause you need to write what you know… so I write about bands that I love):

The entirety of Deja Entendu by Brand New

The entirety of their Self-entitled album by She Wants Revenge

Most of Funeral by Arcade Fire

Most of their Self-entitled album by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

The entirety of You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene

Most of Bee Hives by Broken Social Scene

The entirety of Live It Out by Metric

Most of Melody Of Certain Damaged Lemons by Blonde Redhead

I didn't listen to many happy songs during this chapter. If I did, I would've listened to Eisley. Eisley's new LP drops August 14, 2007 and catch them on the Fray tour this summer. I am shamelessly pimping Eisley because they're my favorite band and always will be. So yeah. Listen to them when you're bored—you'll be taken.


	9. I've survived the blast

**Author's Notes: **This chapter is also **UNEDITED**. So forgive me for the errors that are sure to ensue. I guess I'm getting lazy, but can you really blame me when it takes five hours to write a chapter? Hopefully not too much.

And thanks everyone for the reviews! Before I get started, I would just like to answer one question since most of you are probably wondering this as well.

Maddybenson—Good question! Talk of what Peyton is doing is just about to explode… Those who have been listening have been keeping it hush-hush, but also have been passing it along to others. I mean, who wants to keep a delicious secret to their self when they can indulge in the scandalous stories with their friends? Also I already believe a few Untouchables have been listening in, the Untouchables that still have a heart that is, and clandestinely support Peyton in her endeavors. But, of course, those who don't like their dirty laundry to hang out for the rest of the school to see will find out about the podcasts soon enough. Peyton's planned this for awhile now… and she's finally spilling the beans when she feels it's necessary to.

Also, the chapter's title is from "Walls" by the Envy Corps. If you're going to check out the Envy Corps, I suggest "Keys to Good Living" or "Story Problem."

**Chapter Nine: I've survived the blast**

Life since the "Jake: Explosion In Thy Face" is pretty much, well, better depending on the topic of the moment. The whispering has, for the most part, subsided. But just like getting a virus, this juicy piece of gossip is still in the talk steam of the school, even though the patient, or in this case Jake, hasn't shown signs of the virus since the first game of the playoffs doesn't mean it's not there anymore. But people have stopped talking about it mostly because he's laid low in school and played hard on the court—in face, he's become the second leading scorer on the Ravens' team. Ergo (that's my favorite word to use in an essay, by the way; the teachers eat it up like a pay raise), people have decided to talk about his hoss-like playing instead of his less than grandeur dating record.

But of course even though everyone seemed to find a better, more productive thing to talk about, I myself didn't have anything to think about other than that particular Raven. Don't get me wrong—I was glad everyone found something else to talk about, but everyone ought to know that I'm also a self-deprecate. I obsess over, analyze, and berate myself to no end over a certain mistake until some new, shitty thing I'ld done consumes my thoughts and replacing the last shitty thing I'd done instead. Surprise, surprise… I wouldn't let this one go, especially since I found it ironic that I was trying to cover my tracks for Operation: K-Roe, and yet I ended up hurting some innocent person in the crossfire. So I really hated myself… more than usual at least.

My dad was comforting though, which kind of surprised me since he didn't really approve of me going out with Jake to begin with. It wasn't that he didn't like Jake, but he knew that I was either going to end up hurting Lucas or Jake, or hell, hit a Grand Slam and hurt both of the boys… which I kind of did. But remember when he wanted to "talk to me in the morning" the night of the MD? Well, he really didn't take me up on that until he saw my morose state extend for more than any dad or caring parent would like to see.

_I watched my bowl of Life cereal float lazily on its cold deathbed of milk. I couldn't help but think that I needed to get a happy thought in every now and then instead of thinking of soggy cereal during a downcast morning. _

_I heart footsteps walking into the kitchen, but I didn't look up to see who's they were. Neither Brooke nor Madison slept-over last night so the heavy steps had to belong to my father._

"_Hey Sunshine!" My dad greeted cheerfully as he poured himself his usual cup of coffee._

_Letting my spoon hit the bowl and make a clanking sound, I looked over at my dad and smirked the biggest freaking smirk I could work up this early in the morning._

_Seeing my beautiful cynical self, my dad's eyebrows rose as he walked over and took his respective seat at the table. "Nice to see you're bright and happy this morning," he sarcastically said before he took a quick sip of his black coffee._

"_Oh yes, definitely bright," I pause and brought attention to my all dark clothing topped off with a black and white striped hoodie that was zipped up half way to cover up some grease stains on my worn black Shout Out Louds shirt—I didn't want a tight-ass teacher getting all bitchy with me about the school dress code. "And definitely… happy 'cause, you know, I've been such a happy person lately."_

_My father started to choke on his coffee, obviously because he thought my less than jovial rant was funny or sad or both. _

_I didn't say anything moreover because I didn't want to be the ultimate bitch to my dad. So I bit my tongue and took the raucous laughter as a long deserved "if you play with fire and get burned, I'll have rites to laugh long and hard at you."_

_After a few more seconds, I got sick of a full grown man laughing like a toddler hyper from pixie sticks and from his daily dose of Riddlin, so I got up, practically threw my bowl and spoon into the sink which resounded a big smash, and almost made it out of the kitchen when I heard, "All right, I'll stop!"_

_I stopped dead in my tracks when he said that, which caused a huge debate between the angel and demon on my shoulders to arise. The angel said, "Turn around—you know you've been wanting your dad's advice since this whole thing happened." Then the demon weighed in with his two cents. "Screw him! If all he wants to do is laugh at you, you shouldn't have to deal with his high and might shit. You've got better things to do."_

_Even though the demon made a damn good point, I couldn't just ignore my dad. So I reluctantly turned around, crossed my arms, and leaned against the counter._

_Raising his hands as if to say 'Don't shoot,' my dad started to dish his thoughts. "Maybe I shouldn't have laughed at you, I bet you've been getting a lot of crap at school over the matter so it was wrong of me to laugh at you. I'm sorry, Goldilocks."_

_Exhaling heavily, I replied begrudgingly, "It's okay."_

"_No, it's not—I mean, look! You're standing as far away as possible, you're arms are crossed, and your brows are furrowed. The brow thing is a classic 'I'm pissed' look. Your mother would do the same thing when she was aggravated." He pointed to my chair at the table. "Please, sit. I promise I won't be cruel like the kids at school must be."_

_He was trying, so I took my seat at the table to humor him, but that didn't mean my heels dragging all the way over there in the process. _

"_Okay that's kind of better—you still have the brow thing going on so hopefully I can make that up to you." He looked over at me with his brown eyes heavy with sadness. "So you're obviously pretty banged up with the Jake thing."_

_Shrugging my shoulders and clearing my throat, I replied, "Yeah, I've tried everything when it comes to apologizing, but he doesn't want to hear it. I really hurt him… It turned out that I was his _the_ girl, so that kind of makes guilt be on max right now."_

_Nodding his head in an understanding manner, my dad continued. "Well, that's expected. You know you were wrong and hearing that the night was extra special to him makes you feel even worse."_

_I tried to swallow the painful lump in my throat. _

"_But," my dad strived on, "you have apologized numerously, so the ball is in his court. If he wants to forgive you, he will. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he doesn't want to do either of those things, he won't. It's as simple as a rubrics cube, really." _

"_I know," I started exasperatedly, sitting up on the edge of my seat and leaning against the oak table, "it's just I'm afraid he doesn't understand how terrible I feel about it. I feel like when I'm making progress in getting the point across, he somehow finds a way to make me eat my words."_

_He started nodding again. I liked that he understood and I liked that I was able to have this conversation with him when so many teens my age rather be medicated than talk to their parents. "All I can say, Peyt, is that that's how he's dealing with it. He wants to be angry with you, so let him have his anger. I'm sure when this is all said and done with, he'll see that he was no better than you were by treating you this way. Just give him his time and space because that's obviously what he wants. Okay?"_

_I didn't like the answer, but, I mean, why would I? I wanted Jake to forgive me. I wanted him to see how convicted I was about it. I wanted him to know what I was fighting for and why I wrongly used him. But my dad was a guy and he did have years of experience in management on the ships he worked soothing out differences between people, so who else would have better advice than him? _

"_Okay," I whispered roughly as I played with my hoodie's strings. _

_I got up and rounded the table. "I love you, Papa," I told him as I hugged him._

_Laughing slightly, "I love you too, Goldilocks." _

_I broke away from the hug and looked at my black rocker watch. Seeing that it was 15 minutes until the tardy bell, I decided I had to make a break for school._

I must say now that I was glad my dad gave me the advice he gave me. If Jake wanted to be angry with me, he could; he had every right to. I just needed to accept that there are consequences to everything and I wasn't going to brood over them any longer. Why waste your life?

Anyways, good things that followed the MD was Brooke and Nathan becoming a real couple as well as Madison and Liam becoming one as well. The school was buzzing about their new two favorite thoroughbred couples to gawk at. Of course, many of Nathan's U.F.'s, which consisted of almost the entirety of the female student body, were crushed. But they were glad he was with Brooke; after all, they loved her as well, especially for her fashion style, overall sweetness factor, and if she was good for Nathan, she was good for them. Others weren't as surprised by Madli (pronounced like "madly"—that's what people dubbed them as) simply because people were pairing them together ever since Madison stepped foot in the school.

Of course, with all of this buzz and love hanging in the air, I couldn't help but feel a tad bit jealous. Both of my best friends got all of the benefits of dating a fellow Untouchable—PDA, walking to class with each other while holding hands all the way there, going to their team practice and cheering for them, being openly giddy, and the like. What did I get by dating an Everybody? A secret hide-out or a utility closet.

Don't get me wrong—I'm insanely happy with Lucas. He's everything I've dreamed about and more, the perfect guy to make my Fall for. But can you blame me for wanting to walk to class with Lucas with other fingers intertwined, laughing about something funny, and then right before I go into my class and he heads to his, I give him a peck on the lips and say, "See you after class, Luke." I bet some of you are snickering about how cheesy that sounds, and it is, but I want everything with Lucas and I couldn't have it, at least not yet.

I didn't have to wallow alone though, I did have Cassie after all. Her date with Thomas was must've not gone exactly great because from what she said, he ended up being a complete jerk the entire time. Cassie didn't go into details with any of us about how he was a jerk, but we already knew that Cassie was one of those people you would never be able to get too much information out of if she didn't want to give you the info to begin with. So none of us asked anymore questions. But she, like me, had to walk the halls boy-less behind Brathan and Madli, who acted couple-like, which made me want to ask Cassie if she had a pistol and a single bullet to play some Russian Roulette.

I must sound like a horrible friend for saying that, but whatever. I was kind of bitter with it and I'm not going to lie about it on my own podcast. So sorry Brooke and Madison if you're listening now, it's nothing against ya'll, it's my own shit.

Back on subject now! I got to vent all of that pent up jealousy of Brathan and Madli when I saw Lucas everyday in his hide-out in the woods after school each day. We both mutually agreed that if we didn't want to get caught canoodling in school, we shouldn't canoodle during school, so to the hide-out we came.

Sometimes we just hung out and pigged out on various snacks there while other times we worked up an appetite and then there were times we did everything like a person who only had a day left to live. But a particular ever looming subject was definitely becoming more and more apparent each time kept breaking our own Rules of Engagement, also known as boundaries: sex.

Despite many people believing I'm a slut and sleep with any guy who takes me out, that is not the case. I'd only slept with one guy in my whole four years of dating, which is definitely a smaller number than some of those skank-turned-clean-teen kids at Tree Hill High. It was during my Sophomore year when many of the girls in my class had already lost their virginity and bragged about it constantly. Many girls thought it was weird that I didn't lose it yet; after all, if I was trying to get rid of Miss GTS persona, so why hadn't I done it yet? I didn't ask Dani what I should do simply because I felt really embarrassed by it, so I just decided to sleep with Reagan Sorenson, who was a Senior and who I was dating at the time. He was a nice guy-- very Nathan-like-- and hadn't pressured me at all into going further than I wanted to. So at one party I got a little tipsy and told him to take me up to a room. Hopefully I don't need to explain what "getting a room" means to any of you kids out there, so I'm going leave it at that.

But I guess what I'm trying to say is that I had boundaries with every guy I dated. Whether they respected them or not depended on if we were going to get another date with me or not. It wasn't Lucas pushing the line a bit, it was me. I was breaking my own little rules and it felt great doing so.

_Resting his chin lightly on the top of my head, Lucas rubbed my back softly. I loved sitting there on that comfy couch with him and just listen to each other breathe in and out. I felt whole and safe when I felt his arms wrapped around me with his heartbeat steady as well as his breathing. I loved the way his neck smelled—as if he had just slept for an eternity and solely woke up to see me and lay with me. _

_All of a sudden, the smooth yearning voice of Jeremy Enigk cooed off and a more guitar-driven number by the Stereophonics overcame the stereo. _

"_I love 'Devil' by 'em, it's such a sexy song." I replied shifting so I could look up at Lucas._

_He was scruffy from not shaving for a day or two. If I had to choose him clean-shaven or scruffy, I would definitely choose scruffy. I loved it when he didn't shave, and he must've known that somehow because he didn't shave as often as he used to. His blue eyes met mine and he smiled, "Yeah it is a sexy song."_

_Once I saw that his eyes were as piercing as they were, I knew what was going to come—a kiss._

_The kisses that followed seemed to mimic the song completely. It started off sensually slow, but then when the chorus hit, we would be all over each other. Like for instance, when he would be kissing my neck, my hands would be up his shirt feeling his toned back or they would be entangled in his jagged, blonde hair. Other times, we would just be kissing each other fervently and my hands would slide down to his stomach, which was adorned nicely with structured abs, and then they would slide back up to his chest and I would feel his racing heart under my palms. Feeling his heart race was like feeling butterflies burst from my stomach except so much better and alleviating. _

_While I was more willing to explore and venture, his hands were more hesitant to roam. I didn't take it as an insult like many girls my age would—I liked having Lucas as a guy who didn't want to feel me up every time we kissed (I kind of liked having that as my job). _

_Breaking from the hot and heavy make-out, Lucas smiled at me. "Y'know, I think we lived up to the song's expectations."_

_Playing with his hands, I laughed. "Yes, I think we would've made Kelly and boys very proud with our intensity and hotness. Too bad it wasn't for a mainstream movie or else we would've gotten the Best Kiss Award at the MTV Movie Awards."_

"_Ugh, I don't know— I think Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell definitely hit a home run with theirs." Lucas replied jokingly as he watched me play with his hands._

_I was immediately drawn to his word choice—hitting a home run. Whether you were born yesterday or not, usually everyone knows how innuendo-filled conversations use baseball terms in place of certain graphically inclined words. Was he implying something more than just their kiss in Talladega Nights or was my hormones taking over? Either way, I could see myself doing exactly that: making love to this lanky goofball I was already falling fast for._

_After a few seconds of my quiet contemplation, he must've taken note of what he actually said and saw the elephant in the room plain and clear. He started to blush as he laughed, "Sorry, I'm not trying to hint at anything. I mean, I'm a blundering idiot when it comes to putting my hands on you—"_

"_You're not a blundering idiot," I interrupted softly, which caused him to look at me and smile slightly, more so out of 'You're just telling me that 'cause I'm your boyfriend' rather than because he believed._

_He shook his head, about to say something when I cut him off with a kiss. "You're not," I said in the most assuring way as possible after breaking the kiss, "a blundering idiot, I promise." Skipping a beat and kind of realizing where his hand was then, I continued on. "Besides, if you were such a blundering idiot, why would your right hand be where it was now?"_

_Lucas seemed to not have noticed that his right hand was placed extremely high on my thigh. Blushing again, Lucas was about to say something, but I didn't wait around to hear what it was—I pounced._

_I really liked this guy._

Even though I was really accustomed to being in the hide-out, Haley wasn't accustomed of me being in the hide-out. Sure, I frequented there everyday almost now for almost two whole months, but Haley wasn't used to seeing my face there and probably had no idea of my frequents there. She probably just thought that Lucas and I did our thing in the Library everyday, but in _her_ hide-out as well. It must've seemed blasphemous for her.

_I was sitting on the comfy couch, flipping through channels, chewing on some Skittles, and waiting for Lucas to get here from school. I had an okay day at school with little happening to make it a great day and little happening to make it a bad day. I just wanted to spend some time with him so it could turn out to be a better day, so when I heard a car pull up outside, I figured it was my boyfriend. But the person that walked in huffily definitely wasn't my boyfriend._

_Haley looked at my with her jaw cocked. She looked like she either A.) didn't have a good day at school, B.) didn't like seeing me here, or C.) all of the above. I decided it was safe to guess choice C because, hell, I knew Haley didn't like seeing me on her turf just like an Untouchable wouldn't like seeing her at the Pier on a Friday or Saturday night (depending on which night a party took place)._

_Unlike her usual greetings, she didn't say anything rude or witty to me. Instead she just threw off her messenger bag indifferently and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a soda._

_I deliberated whether it was smart for me to say something or not. I mean, I can hold my own but having Pissy!Haley was a handful and Lucas probably wouldn't be all too happy either finding his best friend hacked off at his girlfriend hacked off and the other way around. _

_I chose that I rather just keep silent and find something to watch instead—can't be too safe when it came to Haley. So there I sat, flipping through the channels, waiting for my boyfriend to come when all of a sudden I heard this slam of aluminum meeting a countertop. _

_Spinning around as much as I could while sitting down, I saw Haley starting daggers—massive daggers, I might add—at me. _

"_Y'know, many people find channel surfing a pet peeve," Haley spat over at me, "and I happen to be one of those people. So pick a channel and stick with it because I'm really not in the mood to hear integrated, illogical sentences about babies killing Home Depot while the shampoo really tasted up some of the sun—Gnarly dude."_

_Reminding myself that I should stop staring at Haley before she decided to pick another meaningless fight, I turned around and mumbled a "Sorry." I found a show that I really didn't pay much attention to; I just mindlessly watched it to keep myself entertained until Lucas came._

"_God! I hate that show!" Haley, who sounded like she was seething, said as she continued her kitchen adventure in the back. _

_My patience started to wear thin by this point. Sure, I didn't want to fight with Haley, but she was really asking for it. But I bit my tongue—I wasn't going to let her pick the battle. Plus, I didn't want Lucas upset that Haley and I got into._

_Instead, I tried to fixate on the TV show, which was a Saved by the Bell re-run, and eat my Skittles. Following the show better now that I was really willing myself to, I laughed at the cheesiness that overflowed from the episode—Zach and Slater were fighting over Kelly once again and were trying to undermine each other by convincing Kelly of something horrible or extreme happening to their opponent. _

_Seeing that I had finished my Skittles, I readied myself to get up and throw the plastic wrapper away. When I walked over to the trashcan, threw the red wrapper away, and turned around I almost ran head-on into Haley._

_Obviously frazzled and pissed off, she ordered me to, "Move!"_

"_I'm sorry, Haley. It's not like I heard you come up behind me." I apologized while I moved out of her way._

"_Of course you did because that shit you're watching is loud enough to keep us from hearing a freaking banshee scream." She said sarcastically as she scraped out a random Tupperware container._

_Laughing a little bit just because I couldn't take it anymore, I stood right next her. "You might think I'm trying to annoy you and make your life a living hell by actually liking Lucas, you're wrong. It's not like I enjoy you yelling at me every five seconds about something I'm doing wrong or just merely existing."_

_It was her turn to laugh now. "Oh yeah, I'm sure you don't get a hoot out of it when you recall it to your, oh so cute BFF's!" She was mocking me now._

"_Where do you get off! All I'm trying to do is build bridges, but you seem to like burning them down every chance you get." _

"_Oh, poor Peyton Sawyer!" Haley threw back at me as she finished scraping out the Tupperware and walked over to the sink to wash it out. "Why the hell do you care if I despise you or like you."_

_I followed her over there, but keeping my distance because you could never be too sure with that firecracker of a person. "Is it not that obvious?"_

"_What? You trying to alienate me so Lucas can yell at me," she was really scrubbing that Tupperware now, she must've been really agitated._

"_Don't make it seem like I'm sabotaging your friendship with Lucas. It's not as if he hasn't pleaded with me to be cordial to you. Hell, I'm trying my hardest to get you to see I'm being civil and then you can start being that with me, so maybe your best friend won't be mad at you because of me and my boyfriend won't be mad at me because of you!" Man, did I light the fire or what? I kind of shocked myself with how quickly and passionately I shot back. Haley looked like she was especially taken aback because she forgot that she was washing dishes all completely._

"_If you don't want to fine with me, okay," I started again. "But at least be deft about it." _

_At that moment, the person we both were waiting for to finally get there came through the door._

_He must've been curious to see both of us within such a close proximity to each other—we were usually on separate ends of the shack until he walked in._

"_What are you guys doing?" He asked timidly, thinking it was too good to be true that his best friend and his girlfriend were actually making nice and talking to each other in the kitchen. He must've not heard us shouting._

_I didn't know what to say, I was kind of frozen in my tracks. It was as if I was a mannequin with my jaw hanging open slightly out of stupidity and shock._

"_Oh we were just talking about our days," Haley tossed out there in a very convincing manner. "It seems as if both of our were pretty rotten, so we were kind of comparing them. It looks like Peyton won though because that one kid, Bryan Kethers, was her partner in Physics. You know the one with the weird breathing thing?"_

_I stood there just like I had when Lucas asked us what we were doing, except I was looking at Haley with my mouth slightly agape ignorantly instead of Lucas._

"_Ew, yeah, I would say Peyton had the worse day." Lucas joked as he took off his light jacket. _

_Smiling, Haley laughed and turned the water faucet off, "Yeah, it seems like she did."_

_As Lucas plopped himself down on the couch, I turned to Haley again. She looked over at me, shrugged, and whispered, "I'm game for civility." After she said that she wiped her hands off on a random towel and took a seat to the left of Lucas._

_Kind of confused but at the same time very proud of myself for making a point with the Queen of Points, I too walked over and sat down to the right of Lucas. Looking over at my boyfriend and seeing how happy he was with having his best friend and girlfriend to both of his sides made me really happy. _

Now with me and Haley on civil terms, life seemed pretty dandy to me. Sure, I knew I was going to have to make my Fall in about two months time, but that put a damper on anything—it actually caused me to be even more happy with everything going on.

School seemed to progress in a very backwards kind of way. It seemed like everyone, especially the Seniors, were getting Senioritis. We all seemed to be over the school year that still had many days left in it. But one certain person seemed adamant about making these last few weeks count was Shelly Simon the Queen Bee of Clean Teens.

Shelly started up a club called Ravens Making Havens, which was geared to fundraising for organizations that help build refugee camps all over the world. Practically her entire Clean Teen crew got involved in it immediately because, well, were they going to let their leader down? Hell no, especially not if she had the power to deem one of them the next President of Clean Teens. People from all sorts of cliques were interested in the club that this do-gooder started up—even some of us Untouchables. But of course, there was that one prominent bitch that seemed to think this cause was "gay" and she was none other than Rachel. So, for the millionth time it seemed, Rachel decided to pick on someone who couldn't fight back.

Milling through the halls of Tree Hill is easy for Untouchables and a tricky task for the Everybody. People seem to part, dodge, step, and move out of the way so they wouldn't insult us by cutting us off or accidentally running into us.

Another weird thing about the halls of Tree Hill is the communication system. There were two ways to really spread something around the school: gossiping out loud and gossiping through passing notes into each other's lockers. Both very effective ways to spread news, but one quicker than the other (the first) while one was more secretive (the latter).

Clubs used the second one for alerting the student body of an upcoming meeting by getting to school a few minutes before everyone else and slipping the bulletin into each locker of the school. Whether you were a member of that club or not, you knew about it. But even though it was a very accessible and easy way to pass the word on, it annoyed a lot of people at the same time. Sometimes people would get twenty little slips of paper telling you about French Club, Chess Club, Guitar Club, Kite Club, Role Playing Guild, and other meaningless clubs having a meeting or starting up soon. I must admit that I felt kind of overwhelmed by the mountain of multicolored bulletins in my locker that I would have to wade through to get out a specific book while juggling other things I needed.

So it was no surprise that Ravens Making Havens used the same method as many clubs before. No one expected though to be publicly humiliated for it.

_I was opening my locker right when hallway activity was at its peak in the morning. People were heading to class, coming in, rushing to their friends lockers to chat quickly, yelling at friends from across the hall, and the like. When I opened my locker finally after saying hi to the person next to me, a really nice girl named Claire, I saw the usual neon bright piece of paper._

"_I wonder who's having a meeting today!" I joked sarcastically out loud to no one in particular as I grabbed my AP Art Studio sketchbook as well as my Physics book. When I had my needed supplies resting against my inner forearm and my stomach, I opened the neon green sliver of paper._

_It read: Help raise money for refugees of war-havocked countries! Come to classroom B-12 after school to become apart of a special club determined to make a difference in the world. – Shelly Simons, Founder of Ravens Making Havens _

_Folding mine back up, I placed it back in my locker. Not really thinking much about it, I closed my locker and started to make my way to class. That is, until Rachel decided to throw her weekly bitch fit._

"_For crying out loud!" She yelled as she handed her books over to some random U.F. standing there at the moment. He seemed like he was in heaven for being able to hold Elmo's books. _

_Everyone seemed to halt in the hall, besides me (I really just wanted to get to class), but I found that with no one else moving and clogging the hallway up, I couldn't. So I had to watch the self-righteous puppet-esque drama queen have my bored attention._

_Brooke came up behind me and nodded off towards Rachel, "What's her deal?"_

"_I have no idea, but I'm in no mood to fucking deal with it today." I remarked dryly as I looked over at Rachel with my eyebrows furrowed._

_Some anonymous person shouted, "Get the show on the road, Honey—I don't have all day." Many people murmured in agreement, which seemed to make Rachel speed up the process because she didn't want to pitch a fit without anyone watching, after all._

_Turning around and holding up the same neon green bulletin I had found in my locker. "How many times do I have to tell all of you that my locker does no include your Life Savin', Help Others, AIDS awareness, Don't Have Sex Freaks?!"_

_Everyone, including all of the Everybodys that loved a good showdown, seemed to think this was a stupid reason to cause a L.A. like traffic jam in the halls. People started to move along, but Rachel being the fiend that she is, upped the juiciness factor._

"_Shelly Simon—you little do-gooder bitch!" Rachel shouted at the top of her lungs causing everyone that was moving to stop immediately and "ohhhhh!"_

_I looked over and Brooke and rolled my eyes; we both knew what was coming and didn't have time for it since both of our classes were on the opposite side of the school._

_I guess Rachel found Shelly in the crowd and decided to yell at her point blank. "Get this Miss Clean Teen or Miss Ex-Whore, which ever you like to be called or known as these days. Don't put shit like this in my locker ever again or else we'll have a problem."_

_But before people could have time to react, I was already over the situation and pissed off it had to throw off my morning routine. I mean, I was already in good mood because I had some Starbucks before I came to school and this was just making a good day go downhill. "Oh shut up, Rachel!" I shouted. "Are you on the rag today or something? If so, I guess the bitchiness is kind of accounted for, but the again, not really since you pull this shit almost every single day. So if you don't mind, I'd like to get to class. Let's go people, move it along now!" I started to usher people to get moving. _

_Some hooted while others hollered at my outright slam on Rachel. I didn't really care though because I had to get to class before the tardy bell rang, so I had more important things on my mind than embarrassing Rachel and reveling in it._

That day went on like any other normal day for me. I went to class, tried to stay awake, took notes sleepily, and took a quiz here or there. But to make the day less normal was how people kept whispering "way to go" or "damn" when I passed by. I couldn't help but laugh if they were still on about the Rachel thing earlier today, but hey, I guess it was a slow day Gossip Mill wise.

When I made to my locker again to switch out books and notebooks for my third through fourth block classes, all I was thinking about was lunch 'cause, man, was I hungry. I'm a girl that has to eat every three hours because my metabolism burns through all my meals so quickly. But anyways, for the second time that day, I opened my locker and found a bulletin. If you're a Tree Hill student listening right now, you know it's an odd thing to get a bulletin halfway through the school day—they usually do the locker thing in the morning 'cause that's when everyone is certain to go to their locker.

_I looked over at Claire to see if she was holding what I was looking at in my locker because she was the type, like I was, to read the sliver of paper instead of just crumbling it and tossing it on the floor like many of the potheads and jocks did. She wasn't so I supposed it was meant for me._

_Picking up the neon colored paper that was wider than the one this morning—and for many bulletins, for that matter—I opened to see what it was._

_It read: _

_Dear Peyton, _

_Thanks for helping me out in the hall earlier. I just wanted to personally extend an invitation to you for today's Ravens Making Havens meeting. I would be soooooo honored to have you there, and it would make my day!_

_Shelly Simon_

_P.S. I have to tell you something that's been on my mind lately._

_Right at that moment, Brooke and Madison snuck up behind me._

"_Hey P. Sawyer!" They both shouted, trying to give me a heart attack. _

_Still holding the note and having the same hand rest over my heart. "For the love of God—stop doing that to me! You know how prone I am for whacking my head against a locker and then getting a concussion."_

_Both of them were in hysterics, to say the least. "Yeah," Madison said in between laughs, "we know—that's why we do it!"_

"_Well ya'll are great friends then," I replied laughing a bit, grabbing everything I needed, like my lunch, and started heading toward the courtyard. _

_I guess Brooke saw that I was clasping a neon note, she decided to ask the million dollar question. "What's that bulletin about? Rachel being a bitch?" We all started laughing at that._

"_No," I replied by handing the note over to Brooke to read and then Madison._

_They both started to squirm, something I didn't expect. "What?"_

_Again, they both squirmed but then they looked over at me as if I'm totally oblivious, which I was. "It totally sounds like you've gotten her to switch teams, Peyton."_

"_What?!" I said rather loudly causing people in the hall to look over at me as if I just caused their eardrums burst._

_Brooke and Madison started to giggle. "This is what she's going to say," Brooke exclaimed. She then cleared her throat, probably preparing to go down to a lower register in her voice—the voice she saved when she wanted to sound sexy and alluring. "Peyton, I've loved you ever since I saw you in that hot plaid squirt back in Freshman year!" I found all of us laughing at what Brooke was parodying. That's when she continued, "Wow, P. Sawyer you've got both sides rooting for you now!"_

_I felt bad for laughing, but I couldn't help myself—it was funny. Trying to bring both of their attentions to me now, I asked, "So are we going to go? This Ravens Making Havens thing sounds really good—we'll help refugees that are escaping genocide and kids that have been orphaned since both of their parents died from tribal rivalries. This is something that would help all of us sleep better at nights."_

"_No way! I don't want her slipping me any love note telling me that she has to 'tell me something that's been on her mind.'" Brooke squealed and Madison nodded emphatically at the same time. _

_I didn't want to go by myself, so I decided that if Brooke and Madison weren't going to go, then I wouldn't either. I mean, it's not like she would notice my absence even if she personally left me the invite, well, personally left my locker the invite._

"_All right, I guess I won't go either," I said slumping down at our usual table under the Maple tree in the courtyard. _

_I mean, what was I going to miss out on that the next Ravens Making Havens bulletin wouldn't inform me of? _

**XXXXXXXX (Change of POV)**

She didn't come. Why didn't she come? Did my note slip out unbeknownst her when she opened her locker? It's plausible, heck, even plausible! But then again… not likely.

Maybe she had something else going on? Was cheerleading still going on? Well, of course, it's the playoffs, but they only have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays because Rachel can't have Jewels meetings after school on those days. Oh great! I have a Jewels meeting tonight, and I get to see my favorite person, especially today of all days

I looked down at my simple, but elegant watch my Grandmother gave me on my fifteenth birthday. It was 6:37—I had twenty-three minutes to get to Rachel's house and not be late. Very doable.

After a ten minute drive to Rachel's secluded million dollar house, I walked into the well decorated bedroom that every Jewels meeting was held at. Even though many girls thought it was an honor being in the home of their leader, I found it disconcerting. After all, Rachel was just a manipulator and bully, who reaped satisfaction out of others' pain.

I took my usual seat on the wooden chest that was reserved only for the two highest officers under Rachel: Theresa and me.

Random privates and corporals bathed me with how they thought my performance today was dead-on. They were idiotic enough to believe that Rachel and I planned out that little scene in the hall earlier to protect my undercover-like status as well as help Rachel's name as a powerful person the school boost. I thanked them anyways, after all I wasn't going to let them think I was just going to be called a "little bitch" or a "ex-whore" for no reason. Like Rachel, I too had a reputation to protect with this group.

Even though I was first lieutenant, which me I was pretty powerful, today showed me that I was just as dispensable as an ordinary Everybody. If I was really so meaningful to this group, why was I publicly humiliated and degraded as if I was Rachel's U.F. Mouth?

I needed to talk to Peyton.

Right at that moment, the bathroom door opened, like it usually does because Rachel felt like she was too good to socialize with the members.

Everyone started to clap at her entrance, which was normal and definitely fed her ego, no doubt. She loved attention—any and every kind of it. Man, did I want to her attention all right, but now was not the time. I had to wait and be smart about it, so I played on like I was her biggest and most gullible fan.

"Thank you, everyone." Rachel started with the fakest smile on her face. "As you all know, we have a very important person here today!"

When Rachel said this, I was reminded of last meeting when Rachel tentatively said that the undercover Jewel might just make an appearance this meeting.

Knowing that this person had infiltrated the Three Amigas, I knew that this could be my chance to have the laugh at the expense of another—that person being Rachel.

People again clapped during this little pause, and on autopilot I did as well. Heck, I didn't want to draw attention to myself by not.

Waiting for us to stop clapping, Rachel stood up there stoically. Once we had finished, she continued on. "I need to reiterate what I had a few meetings back before I ask her to come out that if any of you fuck this up by shooting your mouth off you're going to be seen as a leper by the entire student body."

I looked around the room at my fellow Jewels—they were all frightened of Rachel. Terror practically pained their brows!

"Okay, now that I've warned you all, I can ask her to come out now." She looked over at the bathroom and said, "Give a Jewels welcome to Cassandra!"

For some reason the name didn't click until I saw her come out of the bathroom. I had hit the jackpot and no one but me knew it—the rat was none other than Cassie, Brooke's little sister.

People stood up like fan-girls at a boy band concert and cheered for Cassie. I stood for her too, but not in the way everyone was. I tipped my hat for her because she was my ticket to getting Rachel back, and back hard.

Smirking to myself, I couldn't help but think, "Game on Rachel. Let's see who has the hand on the Three Amigas now. I'll just bide my time now for the perfect moment."

**Author's Notes: **Hopefully you all thought that this chapter was better than the last. Personally, I feel much better about this chapter than Being An Ass Just Comes Naturally. Obviously there was more LP, as well as less JP, and then more development in the storyline.

If I did my job right, there isn't a question as to why Shelly tried to contact Peyton earlier. I really wanted to give Shelly a hard, cold reason to screw Rachel over and there's nothing more motivating than being publicly dismissed to get revenge. A la, Shelly's not play slow pitch anymore, it's all the way up to fast pitch. The ball's in her hands very much so right now, it really comes down to when she feels like going for the jugular.

Larry and Peyton moments… I love the daughter-father stuff, honestly. I wish there was more on the show, especially since Peyton's always had the phantom of wanting to know her mom, both of them on the show, and to make matters worse, her dad is rarely around. So I really wanted to have a more prominent Larry in this story as well as make him more loveable and enjoyable for ya'll. On the show, he's never around to play that caring parent that she's in dire of need sometimes, especially after Psycho!Derek and meeting real Derek. But I guess that's just a motive for more Larry in this story, so I hope you all are okay with that.

Then the Peyton and Haley interaction. I really wanted to have them kind of make peace… kind of. I just wanted them to be all right being in the same room as each other—it was mainly just Haley's problem 'cause she hates Capones as you all know. So I really wanted to just show them making nice. I'm not sure if any of you are Paley friendship fans, but I am, so I guess I'm just selfish this chapter. Lol.

But anyways, please tell me your thoughts on this chapter! I love, love, love reading your thoughts on every chapter. Many of you write a good deal, and believe me I read every last word of it. You all are very attentive and intuitive people, which is awesome to know because it makes writing much more fun. So please, rant or ramble! I love it when ya'll do. Lol.

If you weren't satisfied, don't be afraid to tell me that as well as what will make you happier. I'll try to incorporate more of what you're interested in then next time.

I hope you all loved it! Until next time!

-Caley


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